We Do it Anyway

We were warned in a recent Cities4Life team email not to be discouraged when we had days where no woman chose life for their babies, despite our best efforts on the sidewalks outside the abortion mill. We had to remember that God alone can change a heart. All we can do is be obedient to the call to speak His truths to those marching to destruction. We like to report how many women we know of that choose life because it encourages us, and it encourages those who support our efforts. But it is important to keep in mind that we may never know the impact of our words and actions, speaking and trying to live the love of God in one of the saddest, darkest places on earth. And if no one makes a visible commitment to life, it doesn't mean we have been there in vain. Nothing done in obedience to God is done in vain.

But sometimes it feels like it!

Good timing on that message to our team!

Yesterday at the abortion mill, there were no "saves" that we knew of. Unless you count one really crazy event. Two women pulled into the parking lot, and our whole team took turns calling out to them, beseeching them to get our free ultrasound in the pro-life RV parked nearby, get our literature filled with resources that could help them,  and please stop and talk with us about how we could help them overcome any objection they raised.They argued a little with us, and honked their horn to drown us out. One went in the abortion mill, and the other drove away. I watched the car as it drove down the street to see it pull in front of the ultrasound RV! The woman got out, was met by the nurse, and went in the RV! Later, she returned to the abortion mill,  and waited in the car. Some time later, her friend came out and got in the car.  It turns out, the driver had gotten an ultrasound, and found out she was pregnant. She planned to keep her baby. I don't know if it technically counts as a "save" because she may have intended to keep her baby all along. Her passenger had aborted her child.

Can you imagine the drive home those two had? One rejoicing to discover she was going to have a baby, the other describing her experiences killing hers?

A grandmother that I had spoken with for a long time pulled over after dropping a girl at the mill.
"I wanted to tell you I think it is wonderful what you all are doing. I offered to keep the baby myself but she refused. My grandson doesn't want the baby." (How many think of the collateral broken hearts when a woman chooses to abort?)
"Is he the father?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Is he here?"
"No, he's home."
"Call him. Let me talk to him."
She did. I heard his voice as she handed the phone to me, "No, I don't want to talk with her..."
I grabbed the phone. I told him how just yesterday I saw a father who had wanted to abort his child but had instead held his newborn and told me he had never anticipated the complete change of heart.
Click.
Dial tone.
"He hung up," said the Grandma.

The day got worse. A woman who chose life Saturday despite the boyfriend's anger and insistence that she abort, returned to the abortion mill. One of the counselors who had been there Saturday recognized her. We pleaded, and gave every scripture, and argument we could think of against aborting the baby, but to no avail. She chose in the end to listen to the boyfriend that threatened to leave her if she kept the baby. (Sadly, 85% of those couples split anyway after an abortion.)

No one ever said that following God would be easy. I am reading the book of Jeremiah right now. Remember him? In reward for his work for God he got thrown in a well and sunk in the ooey disgusting mud at the bottom.  He did what God told him to do, and continued to do so because he could not ignore God's call. But no one reading the book of Jeremiah ever mistakes his work as pleasant or easy. (Clue: the other book written by Jeremiah is called Lamentations.) Jeremiah is also known as the weeping prophet. Small wonder:  Jeremiah was attacked by his own brothers, beaten and put into the stocks by a priest and false prophet, imprisoned, and threatened with death, besides being thrown in that terrible, deep, mud-filled cistern. All for speaking the word of God and urging His people to repent and return to God.

The Lord's work is sometimes painfully sad and difficult with little evidence of reward.

We do it anyway.

If we believe God has asked us, we have no choice. If we love Him, we do it anyway, even when we see only gooey mud at the bottom of a deep, dark well, and broken hearts, and little babies dismembered and thrown away like garbage in the trash bin.

Jeremiah 4:31
For I heard a cry as of a woman in labor,
anguish as of one giving birth to her first child,
the cry of the daughter of Zion gasping for breath,
 stretching out her hands,
"Woe is me! I am fainting before murderers."

Present Joy

I got to hold a 5 lb. 10 oz miracle yesterday. She was a feather in my arms. She was the first child I have held of any of the women I have counseled for life at the abortion mill. I gazed at her and kept thinking, this is a child that was slated to die. But look at her, with her full head of hair, her ten little fingers clutching my thumb, her tiny mouth puckered as though nursing. What a beautiful miracle of life.

The father was there, holding the baby when I came in. He had been indifferent (at best) when the young woman discovered she was pregnant. Now, I saw him gazing rapturously at her, cradling her in his arms.
"Do you feel differently than you expected?" I asked.
"Surprisingly, I do. It's pretty...amazing."

Important lesson -- never do rash or irreversible things on the impulse of current struggles. Hearts and struggles change. It never feels like they will, but they almost always do.

I don't know what the future holds. None of us do. That child will likely have her share of struggles, like most of us. I found my mind racing to those dismal thoughts as I drove away, thinking of the obstacles that would need to be hurdled for the new little family. No, I said to my pessimistic musings, think about the miracle, the gift, the joy of this moment. Troubles will come whether you worry about them or not, and yes, there are still mountains to climb. They look waaaay taller and waaaay more craggy than your unsteady feet can manage. Don't back away, don't run, don't despair. Don't exchange the joy of the first step for the terrors of how one can possibly reach journey's end. Present joy should not be taken lightly.

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Psalm 139:16 

Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. 

Psalm 27: 5-6

For he will hide me in his shelter
    in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
    he will lift me high upon a rock.

⁶ And now my head shall be lifted up
    above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
    sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

Waiting on the Lord

The drugs must have taken hold and completely masked all pain my poor little dog was in because when I opened the door to go for a walk, she sprinted to my side and leaped over the doorstep. The hard part will be keeping her walks short till her inflammation is down and the doc gives the ok for longer stretches.

A miracle! Just two days ago, she had not been able to even stand up. For three days, she lay in a panting, miserable heap, crying with pain if we tried to help her stand. It was so hard to watch her like that, and to wait, wait, wait for the medicine to begin to work. Then yesterday, she bounced about with joy and vigor, eager to dash outside. What a difference a day (and strong drugs) make! God is roaring to me on this one: do not crumble when life seems sour. His mercies abound and are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. The darkness always gives way eventually to the light.

One of the women ("L") I have mentored for months since helping counsel her to choose not to abort her baby texted me early yesterday. She was dilated 6 cm, and now hanging out at the hospital awaiting her precious daughter. She texted me periodically throughout the day. Baby's heart beat was slowing with contractions - and they feared the cord was around her neck. I kept waiting to hear a c-section was needed, but she continued texting, upbeat, and surrounded by her family. As of dinner time, no c-section, and no baby. Meanwhile, my fellow counselors Lisa and Mary were praying along with me and their prayer teams. I sat with my phone by my side all day waiting for updates. It was very hard to wait. Please Lord, let that little baby girl be strong and healthy, and born soon!

It is hard to wait. David, in Psalm 27, wrote beautiful verses about waiting on the Lord till He sends His light in the darkness. I love this verse: I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! 

I know it is hard to take courage when all seems to be disintegrating around you, when worry and fear begin to gnaw at your resolve. When you picture cords weaving around tender necks, choking... It is so hard to wait. So hard to wait. 

I texted L again and again as the evening wore on. Any news? Is there a baby here yet? No word as bedtime approached. I lay in bed, reading, and praying. And then the text came in, " I had her. She is the most beautiful baby the doctor delivered today she said."
I have no doubt of that at all! I am sure the angels applauding in heaven agree.

************ 
Psalm 27 

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
    of whom shall I be afraid?

² When evildoers assail me
    to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
    it is they who stumble and fall.

³ Though an army encamp against me,
    my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
    yet I will be confident.

⁴ One thing have I asked of the Lord,
    that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
    and to inquire in his temple.

⁵ For he will hide me in his shelter
    in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
    he will lift me high upon a rock.

⁶ And now my head shall be lifted up
    above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
    sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

⁷ Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
    be gracious to me and answer me!
⁸ You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
    “Your face, Lord, do I seek.”
⁹     Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
    O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
    O God of my salvation!
¹⁰ For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
    but the Lord will take me in.

¹¹ Teach me your way, O Lord,
    and lead me on a level path
    because of my enemies.
¹² Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
    for false witnesses have risen against me,
    and they breathe out violence.

¹³ I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living!
¹⁴ Wait for the Lord;
    be strong, and let your heart take courage;
    wait for the Lord!

Propping My Arms

I have been the recipient of so much kindness over the past two days that I want to cry. A good cry. A joyful cry that humanity is not hopeless. That the sun will emerge out of the stormiest storms. That selfless sacrifice for others does still exist. That God will meet us in our darkest places.

Out of the blue, a person whom I have never met, but is on the world's best Facebook site (and in fact, its founder: https://www.facebook.com/groups/cleanindiereads/) blogged about my book, and then sent me her own (much better) idea for an improved cover just because she thought it might help me. ( her blog is here: http://cleanindiereads.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-bark-of-covenant.html ) Then, a whole bunch of members of that same Facebook group shared her blog to bring attention to my book. Then a friend, Melissa, came over and spent three hours making a template for my word documents so that I would not be so frustrated working on my manuscripts. Then my sister Amy, hearing about my book signing in NYC offered to cover the cost of the plane ticket. (I will be driving, but she didn't know that...)

Then my doggie, who has been lame for three days, utterly unable to get up, finally responded to the new medicine, and walked into the room to beg for popcorn. I hadn't told anyone about my dog, but I was heartbroken to see her suffer so much, this little creature I love so desperately. If ever I needed a little outpouring of kindness, it was now.

So, my heart is full to overflowing. I know that is trite...but I just don't know how else to express how blessed I feel. A writer without words. Sad, I know.

Ebola is spreading, terrorism is rampant, unemployment is still raging...yet there are little pinpricks of light, of goodness, of hope. Don't ever think you cannot be a hand of God. I have seen His fingerprints all over the place, left by friends and strangers with no idea that they were His hands in a time of dire need.

God commanded Moses to hold up his staff, and as long as he did so, his people would prevail in the fight against their enemies. Understandably, his arms grew weary. Yet, his friends helped him hold his arms high and thus secured victory for them all. We need to be the hands of God for one another, propping our fellow sojourners' arms when the weight they carry is too much for them to bear. My arms have been propped this week, and I have seen God.

*******

Exodus 17:12 

But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.

Always Look Up

I am beyond excited. A major firm in NYC read my book, The Tower Builder, and has offered a book signing in early November, somewhere around Broadway and 5th. Tony, the hero of the book, called me last night to tell me and ask if I was interested.
"Are you kidding????I'm in!!!!" I cried.
This book is my best book, but no one knows it. It is a difficult book to promote because it is about so many things but at its core, it is a book about miracles.
Anyway, I had lost hope that it would ever take off. I have had limited sales or interest. I worked on it for 8 years, so I ended up making about $10 a year on it. It was a labor of love, and I was still glad I wrote it, but it is tough to swallow the fact that no one else loves it.
But now this.
Before I forget, here is the link and here is what one reader said:
"It all comes together in a miraculous final chapter that will truly inspire your faith in the human spirit." John Eney. It is a story of faith and miracles, and you happen to learn alot about towers along the way.
www.amazon.com/dp/B00JXP8B72

So what was God telling me? Don't give up. Don't lose hope. Always believe that better things are waiting just over the horizon. The best thing about towers-- you don't see them unless you look up. Always look up!
*****

Romans 12:12 

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 15:13 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Deuteronomy 31:6 

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Romans 5:2-5 

Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Double Blessing

My beloved and amazing Surface Pro 2 computer was doing a very naughty thing. I would plug it in at night to charge it, and then notice in the morning the charging light was off but the computer was only half charged. The light would flicker off in an hour, and if I toggled it, it came back on, but it was obviously not functioning as it should. So I went online to the Microsoft help center and an online chat representative quickly greeted me, cheerily asking how she could help. I explained the problem.

"I am so sorry!" she wrote, as though it were her fault, "I imagine that must be very frustrating, but we will take care of it."
"Great!"
"Can you try plugging in a different charger so we can trouble-shoot?"
"I don't have another charger," I wrote. (Extra cords are $50, and I always wanted an extra one to keep in the computer bag, but couldn't justify the cost.).
"No problem," she said, "I am pretty sure the issue is the charger, so we will send you one free right now. And no need to return the old one."

That was wonderful! While the other cord wasn't working great, it did charge if I toggled it. Now it could be my emergency travel cord! I plugged the computer in to charge it last night with the old cord, since the new had not yet arrived. I was happy in the knowledge that even if I had to toggle it, it would eventually charge, and soon I would have the second cord.

It charged all night, no toggling necessary, full charge. 

I will now have two working cords, just like I wanted. I certainly hadn't complained or asked God for another one. And yet, He gave it to me anyway. (Yes, scoffers, I know He used Microsoft to complete the miracle, but nonetheless, I know from whom my blessings flow.)

I love these little messages from God. Sometimes we think things are broken beyond repair. Maybe it is a relationship, a character issue, a life circumstance...and then God steps in. Perhaps it is only broken for a season, and for a reason. If we can weather the time of trouble, we may emerge doubly blessed. The Bible is filled with examples. Job lost everything but then received double what he had had. Barren Hannah prayed for a child and after she got one (Samuel), she gave him to the Lord to be raised in Eli's temple. How bereft she must have felt but later, she was blessed with many more children. The widow gave her last piece of food to Elijah, and then was miraculously provided with enough food for a lifetime. In every case, the person trusted God, leaned on His presence, and received lavish and overflowing blessing.

I thought my cord was broken...and it was. But now, out of the abundance of blessing, I have two working cords! It will be good to remember this lovely gift from God in the midst of struggle.
***************
PS- My new book, The Bark of the Covenant, is on a five day 99 cent promo. I am praying sales go viral, and the two cords are prophetic. If you would like to assist in this miracle, you can purchase the book at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LNA7T4G . I would not be at all upset if you wanted to share the link with all your friends.
***************

Jacob said, “Come, let us go up to Bethel, that I may make an altar there to the God who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone.” Genesis 35:3

One of the lepers, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice. He prostrated himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him. Luke 17:15-16

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;

Philippians 4:12-13

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Proverbs 24:10 

If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.

1 Peter 5:10

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

Lessening a Burden

Amy, my sister in dream-chasing, had one last day with me. What could my dippy old Charlotte have to offer compared to finding wild Assateague ponies by kayak, or biking on a wildlife refuge along the ocean, or wearing umbrella hats and climbing the hill to the Virginia Capitol building, or dodging the rapids while kayaking across the James River?

"Well," I suggested, "We could kayak across the Catawba, dock at the National Whitewater Center, and look around. Maybe have lunch there."

Amy, who has a zest for life and all new experiences said that sounded wonderful. We kayaked up the Catawba, scaring herons out of their hiding places on the bank. We crept up to turtles with our oars barely making a sound, and saw who could come closest before they plunked into the water. Then we docked at the Whitewater Center across the river, when we realized neither of us had brought money from my car for our lunch. So I kayaked back to the car, leaving Amy to hobnob with nature on the shore. I grabbed some money, relocked the car and returned to the other bank of the Catawba. We meandered along the churning water of the Olympic whitewater training facility. Amy was enthralled. We had lunch at the charming little restaurant there overlooking the rapids. As we watched rescue teams training in the violent water, Amy told me about how she once saved a young boy and his babysitter from drowning in the ocean.
"That was a lifelong dream," she told me, "To save someone's life."

We finally returned to our kayaks and peacefully slid back across the river. Before driving to the airport, we sat on the marina porch watching the Catawba and herons in their treetop roosts. I didn't want the magical time with my sister to end, but finally, it was time, and I drove her to the airport.

It was rush hour as I slithered home dejectedly. I decided to get off the crawling interstate and took lesser known sidestreets. At one intersection, the light turned red, and I noticed a man limping, with a cardboard sign: "Everyone needs a little help sometimes."

Ain't that the truth!

I pulled forward and reached under my seat for the "homeless bag" I try to keep stocked in the car at all times. Rolling down the window, I handed him the bag, filled with goodies.

He smiled and laughed when I handed him my homeless bag. "You make these ahead of time?" he asked incredulously.
"Yes," I told him, "I love Jesus and he commands me to do so. Jesus is my Lord and Savior and has helped me a lot. Do you know Jesus?"
The limping man gazed at me with clear, deep blue eyes, and smiled again. He reached for my hand and clasped it. He told me he knows Jesus too, and he knows that Jesus will help him. I asked him if he was looking for work. He said he's a housebuilder and a good one too, so I gave him a suggestion of a friend I know who builds houses. Then the light changed. I asked him his name, and told him I would pray for him. As I drove away and waved, he looked a little more hopeful. (Please say a prayer for Jason that he finds work building homes.)
"I build beautiful homes," he called after me, "I am very good at it! God bless you!"
I gave him a thumbs up.

I was very sad to see my sister fly away and have my storybook vacation with her come to an end. But it lightened my heart to see the clear blue eyes of the homeless man light up, and to hear him laugh with joy that I had made bags of food ahead of time for someone such as himself. The world felt a little less burdensome somehow.
************

Acts 20:35 

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

Proverbs 19:17 

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.

Matthew 25:35-40 

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

Galatians 6:2 

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Deuteronomy 15:11 

For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’