It Seemed Like Such a Good Idea

We have all said those words at some time in our life...but this time, it really did seem like such a good idea. My hubby re-caulked our bathtub, and it took a lot of effort and time. However, the sink faucet was still lined with mildewed caulk. While hubby was at work, I figured I could do a little task like the sink faucet caulk on my own.

I first had to remove the old caulk. This had me sweating and ruing the day of my birth before long, but I finished that task with only a few sharp, dried-out caulk splinters under my nails. Oh, and one MINOR deep slash in my finger. Then I got out the caulk and caulk gun. I tried to cut off the tip of the caulk with kitchen shears. Why ON EARTH should a caulk tip be the consistency of cement? As the shears finally closed with a sudden lurch and the tip snapped off, the handle of the shears backfired into my belly. At least I hoped it was the handle....I quickly checked to see if I had just eviscerated my intestines with the sharp end. There was a small indentation in my belly, and a lot of red, but it wasn't blood. It would be a good bruise tomorrow.

On to the caulking! I loaded the caulk bottle in the caulk gun, and headed to the sink where the freshly uncaulked faucet had been cleaned and dried. Then I tried to squeeze the caulk trigger. No way my weak hands could manage. I brought it to my daughter, Asherel.
"Is this tip cut off enough? Dad cuts off more..." she asked.
"Oh sure, this will give me a more controlled line of caulk."
She squeezed with all her might and could not get it to work. Then she gave a mighty heave at my insistence and a line of caulk shot out like a missile across the room.

That took a bit of effort to clean up. Now on to the sink. I neatly and quickly caulked the faucet, feeling VERY accomplished. Clean up time! I loosed the latch on the caulk gun, and pulled out the caulk bottle. Oh-oh. the entire bottom of the caulk bottle had exploded. Caulk was everywhere all over the gun. I DID consider just throwing it all out, buying a new caulk gun and NO ONE need ever be the wiser.

Instead, I did the stupid, but honorable thing. I tried to clean the caulk gun. Caulk is waterproof, shrink proof,and I might add, clean-proof. However, I stuck with it until I had wiped as much caulk from the inner workings as I could, hoping the gun might work again, maybe, if Jesus intervenes. Come, Lord Jesus.

So, in summary, from my caulking one tiny faucet I had: a deep gash in my finger, a deep bruise in my stomach, and 2 hours of effort cleaning a probably ruined caulk gun. But the faucet looks great!

It seemed like such a good idea.

God has a little warning about situations like this. It is this verse:

 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?

 Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him,

 Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish. Luke 14:28-30

In other words, before you start something, consider the cost. In time, energy, effort, and injury potential. In spiritual matters, if you are in for Jesus, be prepared to be ALL in. He will accept no less.

The Perfect Cover

I have a great app on my phone where I get a daily Bible verse, and then I can do cool things with the verse. I can put the verse over an image and there are zillions to choose from. Each day, I send an appropriate verse to my growing list of mothers I have counseled that chose life at the abortion mill. I often get responses from them like, "How did you know I was struggling with that? This verse came at the perfect time."

I of course don't know what they are struggling with. But the Holy Spirit does, and He sends us just what we need when we need it. Anyway, every so often, I add an image to the verse, like I did with the one in this blog. More often than not, the verse just happens to be exactly what I needed to read at just that time.

In between playing with my Bible app, I cleaned out my linen closet hoping to find all the linens I will need for my daughter as she goes off to college next semester. I'd gotten a letter from the college with a "Limited Time Offer!" of the full necessary linens for the full four years of college for only $400. uh. No thanks. Thus, the linen closet cleaning. Well, I must have not cleaned the linen closet in the seven years since I sent my last kid to college because I'd forgotten how many sets of twin sheets I had! And extra towels! And extra pillows! And matching comforters! I had nearly everything the $400 set had and all FREE.

So I found a large storage bin, and loaded all the nice clean and complete linen sets in the bin. It will be all ready for August, when Asherel moves to her new college dorm. Then when I went to close the bin, I discovered that the top was the WRONG top.

I was discouraged. What now? See, God never does that. He always provides the RIGHT thing at the right time. I went on a bin cover hunt, and finally tracked down a cover that looked like the right one. Breathlessly, I brought it to my bin. It fit...perfectly.

And I realized another spiritual truth. Sometimes, God makes us work a little bit to find just the right thing that He has provided. It is easy to give up in discouragement and failure when things don't seem to be going as you hoped, when life isn't fitting your dreams and expectations. Keep looking and seeking God. He is there with the perfect cover: "He will cover you...and under His wings you will find refuge."

I snapped the perfect cover on my full set of college linens, and breathed a little prayer of thanks.

Psalm 91:1-16 

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, ...

The Charade of Choice

Another wild day at Charlotte's busiest abortion mill, and another example of what a facade "choice" is. When we arrived, there was a mom and her 16-year-old on the pro-life ultrasound unit on an RV parked outside the clinic. One of the counselors stopped their car and offered the free ultrasound just a hundred yards up the street. The mother refused to drive her pregnant daughter to it.So the girl got out of the car and walked over there with the counselor.  At some point, the mother joined her daughter. They left the RV, after seeing the tiny baby, and headed to the abortion mill.

By this time, I had arrived. I stopped them on the road. The teen's mother took my literature, which shows fetal development, lists resources to help those in crisis pregnancies, and has Bible verses to guide and comfort. I asked the teen if she was the pregnant one. She nodded. I asked if she wanted the abortion. She teared up and said "No." My fellow counselor, who had walked her to the RV, concurred the teen had also told her she didn't want the abortion. The teen's mom just keep shaking her head, and started trying to drive past us.

 I told the teen she could not be forced to abort, and told the teen's mom it was illegal to force anyone to have an abortion. The teen's mom rolled up her window and drove to the mill parking lot, ignoring her daughter's tears. We counselors all called to them as they entered the mill. The teen got out of the car, slowed as she looked back at us, and then sadly followed her mother into the mill.

I called the police. Three police cars arrived. Good. The first officer got out of his car and came to me. I explained what had happened. He asked if the teen had been dragged in or any force used. No, I could not say physical force was employed, but it was coercion nonetheless. He said he could not then go in, since I had not seen the use of force. I told him it was clear she didn't want the abortion as she had told both me and my fellow counselors so several times. The ultrasound nurse then chimed in about how few frightened teens would challenge their parents in this situation, but that this was clearly coercion. He insisted he could not go in. I am afraid I have to admit that my strong willed, argumentative nature politely and respectfully disagreed.

Then PRAISE GOD, another policeman got out of his car and came to me. (Probably wondering why I was arguing so intractably.) Unlike the first cop, he listened, and agreed with us that he of course could go in and talk to the girl. He did so. He explained to her that she could tell the doctor she didn't want the abortion at any time. The cops seemed sympathetic, but said they could do no more. It was up to the girl now.

 Per our director's advice when I texted him about the ongoing drama, I read the laws regarding coercion to abort LOUDLY on the microphone, (with my own ad-libs regarding the legal AND moral AND ethical AND spiritual reasons why a mother should never force her daughter to go against her conscience and do this terrible thing.) By the time we left at 1:30, the car was still there.  I know the last abortions of the day are generally the younger girls. I wish I could have stayed, to see what happened, but I could not. I had an appointment with another woman who had chosen life and scheduled an ultrasound. It was in God's hands...which are far more capable than mine.

I pray the girl had the courage to say no. I pray God convicted the teen's mother that to impose this upon her daughter would do irreparable harm.

Meanwhile, another woman stopped her car for one of our counselors and told us she had to abort because of her situation. She agreed to the free mobile ultrasound, nonetheless. Both the nurse and I felt she was soft-hearted from the get go, and just needed someone to tell her she was not alone, remind her of Jesus (who she loves and knows, but as so often we find, shaky in her trust of, through all circumstances), and show her the little baby's beating heart. I told her, as we watched the little heart pulsating, it always seems to be shouting to me, "I am here! I am here!"  She chose life, tearfully prayed with us, and we promised to follow through on hooking her up with a good church, food pantries, and support in her area.

While we were on the  RV, another counselor stopped a woman leaving who chose life...because she was 36 weeks pregnant! She had no idea she was that far along. It was wayyyyyy too late for an abortion at that particular clinic, though unbelievably, even though the baby is completely viable at that age, she could have gone elsewhere for an abortion. How she didn't know that she was almost ready to birth a baby floors me. Fortunately, she was relieved not to abort, and took a blessing bag from us filled with gifts for her new baby.

I am always exhausted when I leave the abortion mill sidewalks. It is so draining, yet the best feeling on earth when someone would have aborted their child but instead, chose life because a few frail women and men stood in front of the abortion mill and said please, don't do this.
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To help support and join this ministry dedicated to speaking of life at the gates of Hell, please go to cities4life.org, and if in the Charlotte area, charlotte.cities4life.org.
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Deuteronomy 30:19 

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live,

Psalm 139:13-16 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Jeremiah 1:5

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

The Journey Towards Christ

Since I have no other way to promote my books than through social media, I post my book info on hundreds of Facebook groups. I don't even read the group rules unless they are very obvious. I just post like a maniac, hoping the right person will see the post and realize they can not live without my book. Many groups bend the rules if they like the book topic. Almost all the horse groups have been very receptive to my new book, Joe - The Horse Nobody Loved. Some tell me to delete the post and I do, and leave the group since my main purpose in joining is to tell them about my books. I am very up front about that. Some of the groups however are really great groups, and I find myself getting to know the group members and enjoying being a member as well. Sometimes, the group administrator is hopping mad at me because I didn't read the group rule about "no ads."

Every time the admin yells at me, I apologize, explain why I don't have time to read the rules, but that I completely understand and will delete the post and leave the group. Here is the amazing thing. More often than not, the admin chats with me at length, with a totally different attitude, and I often make a new friend. This happens over and over again.

A gentle answer turns away wrath. Proverbs 15:1

God told us that, and yet, I can never seem to keep it consistently in my heart in personal relationships. You would think I would learn, since every time I softly apologize, and contritely explain to the Facebook Group Admins, they respond kindly. It is not easy to respond kindly when one feels mistreated, but it is nonetheless our admonition.

A gentle answer turns away wrath.

I love how God is using Facebook to teach me the truth of that scripture. Gentleness does not always come easily to me...but I am learning. I learned it first at the hands of my gentle mother with her peaceful spirit. You'd think I would learn it better, but God is not finished with me yet.
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Titus 3:2 

To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

1 Peter 3:15 

But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,

Psalm 18:35 

You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great.

2 Timothy 2:24-26 

And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

James 3:17 

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

Inextricably Bound

Happy Mother's Day.

The older I get, the further along I go in my path of mothering, the more aware I am of what a great mother I have. I love my own children more than I can ever say, my love of words notwithstanding. Nonetheless, despite my best efforts, I will never be the mother I long to be. This grieves me, and every Mother's Day, I feel a twinge of sadness for all my failures. You perfect mothers out there can pity me.

A friend posted an article that cheers me. Do you know that with every child conceived, stem cells from that unborn child enter the mother's heart and brain? Research has shown that some diseases of the mother have been partially or fully healed by her unborn baby's stem cells! The mother literally carries her child forever in her heart and brain.

But all of us mothers know that. And all of us know that a piece of us is left forever in our own mother. God designed mothers, and knew just what He was doing, inextricably binding them to their children.

Happy Mother's Day.
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Proverbs 31:25-30 

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” ...

Psalm 127:3 

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Isaiah 49:15 

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

Enjoyment of Life

Feeling strangely devoid of energy and enthusiasm, I took off for a quick "5 minute bike ride" to see if my daughter's bike was working as it should. I adjusted the seat to my height since we are roughly the same size. Well, without even noticing, I was soon riding along the nearby Greenway, and my 5-minute bike ride became an hour. This is often the way it goes when one just gets started.  It was a gorgeous day and all the fatigue I'd been feeling all day vanished. I don't know where all the weariness came from, but it felt like nothing could shake it. Then, poof: sunshine, exercise, and a beautiful path in the woods snapped me out of it.

I've been writing a lot lately. Working on my sequel to Joe- The Horse Nobody Loved (which is on a 99 cent special for two days) and also promoting an older book, God Drives a Tow Truck (also only 99 cents for one more day.) My joints all ached, telling me I had been hunched over my computer typing for too many hours.

So off to the bike path while the hot sun dripped through the tree tops. The joint aches disappeared, the weariness dissipated, and joy lassoed me. I had just read on Facebook of a friend whose friend committed suicide, leaving behind 7 children. There have been times in my life when I have felt hopeless. They always pass. I pray every person encountering weariness, fatigue, despair who reads this post goes out for a walk in the sunshine, praises God for the joy of breathing, and finds the abundant life God wants all of us to enjoy. I grieve for those seven children. Hopelessness passes. Death is final. Choose life.
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Ecclesiastes 5:18 

Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot.

Proverbs 17:22 

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Ecclesiastes 2:24 

There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God,

When It Cannot be Undone

Poor Honeybun had to go back on Prednisone. She was lame for four days. She has spinal stenosis, and sometimes, it flares and there is really nothing to do but give her meds to keep her as mobile and as comfortable as possible. Life is not fair. She is such a sweet and loyal dog and doesn't deserve this, but we are all grateful for the Prednisone. Within a day of starting on that, she was up and about again. Praise God for medicine that removes pain!

Meanwhile, after I texted a Bible verse to one of the post-abortive women I counseled, she wrote back and thanked me. As a pro-life sidewalk counselor, nothing is more heart-breaking than the young girls who are convinced abortion will solve their problems, and ignore God's clear word and our ardent pleas. She said she has been having a very hard time, constantly crying. She thinks of baby names all the time, what she might have named her child. She cannot get her baby out of her mind. She wishes she had her baby back...but of course, it is too late. The Bible verses help, as does someone to talk to. But nothing will bring the baby back, and now she regrets with immeasurable sorrow what cannot be undone. There is no magic medicine that will remove that pain.

If only those who provide this "choice" were more honest about this common response to the death of a child at the mother's bequest. Forgive me Father, for the fury I feel over the lies about abortion.
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2 Corinthians 1:3-4 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.