Cleansing of Unrighteousness

I found this sight ironic, one of the visual symbols God throws at me on a continual basis. I spent the morning, as I do every Monday, at the abortion center sidewalk pleading with mamas to choose life instead of death. As I was standing with my Cities4Life team in the sweltering heat outside the abortion center, this street cleaner came by, scrubbing the street clean.

I thought to myself: you will never scrub away the evil that seeps like sewage from that building.  But please, go ahead, try.

The street cleaner had to make a wide arc around HELP Crisis Pregnancy Center's pro-life RV. Again, symbolism smacked me on the forehead. The ONE place that didn't need cleaning was that spot where the RV stood, bathed in prayer, fueled by contributions from a large network of Christians, and sanctified by the truth of God that is proclaimed by the teams that counsel the mamas.

This happened right before a mama stopped to talk to me. We had all spent quite a bit of time speaking over the microphone and calling through cupped hands from the sidewalk. This mama had glanced over several times, but had not approached us. Now as she drove out, she rolled down her window when I motioned to her to stop. I asked if I could convince her to get a free ultrasound on our RV parked at the curb. She said she would like that.

Her story was heart-breaking, and unusual. Unlike most of the abortion-minded mamas we stop, she was fighting mad, but not at us. At the abortion center! She had had several abortions in her life. Just three weeks ago, she had had another. However, she still felt pregnant, and her recent pregnancy test was positive! She returned to the abortion center demanding they check her. The test was indeed positive. When the abortionist did an ultrasound, she told us he turned the screen away, wouldn't let her see it, and told her he didn't see a baby. However, she said he only scanned one side of her belly -- not even attempting to look very hard for a baby. She said he encouraged her to return to normal activities, including intimate relationships.

"I feel like I'm being lied to," the woman told us. She also said that when she entered the center, she realized that it smelled like death, that it was oppressive like the terribly evil place she now realized it was, and that it was a place of intense spiritual welfare. "It is demonic in there," she told us, "You can feel it. I have come to realize that the battle we are fighting is not flesh and blood. It is spiritual. God opened my eyes to what this is really all about."

We nodded. "We call it the Gates of Hell," I said.

"It is!" she said. "Last week, I had an encounter with God. I realized how much He loved me, and how much I was disobeying Him. I vowed that I will follow Him completely now. No more excuses. All in for Him. That means chastity, and everything. And then I came here to find out if I was still pregnant, and felt all that evil, and knew I was being lied to. All they cared about was my money. They don't care about me, or health, or anything. It is a business. A business of death."

The nurse and I glanced at each other. She was making our work easy. God had certainly gotten a hold of this young woman, and she was paying attention.
"And then I saw you and I knew I had to come on here. If this baby is still alive, I will not abort. I will never do that again."

Sadly, we were unable to find the baby. I am still praying for a miracle but it it doesn't seem likely. I gave the young woman my name and number and told her to call any time for any reason.
"Unlike the abortion center, we aren't a business. We aren't paid, and we don't profit from your choice for life or death of your baby. We are all here because we believe so strongly that God's word is true and it is clear. Abortion is wrong, an affront to our Creator, and we are hear to proclaim that."

"Bless you for being here," she said, "I can feel the difference in here."

Where God reigns, it should feel different. The street cleaner knew that too.
*********************

Romans 12:1-2 

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

1 John 1:9 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

John 3:16 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

1 Peter 2:24

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

2 Timothy 1:7

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

Romans 12:21

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Be Vigilant for the Adversary

I kayaked for the second day in a row since my cancer surgery two months ago. What peace and delight! Herons abounded as usual, bringing me great joy. I meandered slowly in quiet coves to avoid the weekend motorboats when I saw what looked like a stick in the water. Then it raised its head with a gaping white mouth.

Shuddering, I skedaddled out of there. If it was just a stick I didn't hang around long enough to find out. I remembered reading that cottonmouths have been known to leap out of the water and into boats. It may have been a stick, but sticks don't usually rise out of the water with white mouths wide open.

I like the quiet coves much more than the open water, but alas, so do the snakes.

Danger is always lurking where you least expect it. Nice quiet, sheltered, placid cove...and then a poisonous cottonmouth rears its evil head. I hate to disturb the peace of kayaking with the need for vigilant scouting of danger, but it is foolish not to.

There is a spiritual lesson lurking here as well. We all should be on guard. We all have an adversary often hidden where we least expect him. His desire is to destroy our peace, and our soul. The Bible warns us that he is disguised as an angel of light and his purpose is to deceive and destroy us. Our enemy is a 'prowling lion' looking for someone to devour, a snake pretending to be a harmless stick.

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.1 Peter 5:8

This stinks. Who wants to ruin the joy of life by having to be on continual alert for the enemy of our soul? The Bible is clear. We have an adversary. He is powerful, and he is looking for opportunities to confound and harm us. The danger is probably most present when we scoff and downplay the risk.

However, if we are not careful, sticks could turn out to be cottonmouth snakes jumping in our kayak. It does no good to pretend the danger doesn't exist. Be vigilant friends. The adversary is real, cunning, and deceptive. We are to flee from the first sign of evil, and always strengthen ourselves with the power of the Gospel, the armor of God.

I head off soon this morning to the sidewalks of the local abortion center, in hopes of turning mamas hearts back to their unborn children. So many of them deride our counsel to seek righteousness rather than this dangerous path they are on. They do not see evil. They see an apparently easy solution to a terrible problem. They see a stick, but it is a cottonmouth snake, and its bite is fatal.

**************
Two exciting developments on the book front. Yesterday, my second book in my #1 Best Selling Horse Series hit #1 again while my new release was #4. I loved seeing both on the leader board amazon rankings! The series book is on sale for 99 cents. Click HERE to purchase.
Unlikely Friends, my new release is only 2.99, and will make you smile. Click HERE to purchase.
**************

Ephesians 2:2 

In which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—

Luke 22:31

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat,

Matthew 12:29

Or how can someone enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? Then indeed he may plunder his house.

2 Thessalonians 2:9 

The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders,

Matthew 13:19

When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path.

Beauty Instead of Ashes

I don't know which of these three events pictured above gave me more joy yesterday. In picture one, I am kayaking for the first time in seven weeks since my cancer surgery. I cried when I pulled up to my kayaking launch site. It felt like I was seeing an old friend for the first time in years, a friend I wasn't certain I would ever see again. I paddled very slowly but spent an hour on my beloved lake, communing with herons and singing "When peace like a river attendeth my way..."

When I first pulled up to the lake, and unloaded my kayak, I started sobbing. I hadn't realized that part of me feared I would never kayak again until I pulled my kayak into the lake, and dipped my feet in the warm water. Tears gushed with joy that I was not only alive, but about to do one of my favorite activities on earth again.

The second picture is me holding a baby that I almost got arrested trying to save. This story is one I cannot tell because the mama is a minor, but after one of the most difficult and drama-filled rescues from abortion I have yet experienced as a sidewalk counselor, this little baby girl nestled in my arms yesterday. The lavish baby shower for the brave young mama was hosted by Truth and Mercy Prolife Ministries.

The third picture was a shock. My new book, Unlikely Friends, was the #1 best-seller in horse books on Amazon and the #1 Hot New Release. I checked its rank by accident and could not believe it when I saw the ranking. #1!!! Man that feels good!!! It had sold so slowly upon release that I was very concerned. If my books don't sell, how can I afford to keep writing? I feel certain God has called me to write...but we have a LOT of bills with my cancer diagnosis.

In all three of these events, God took ashes and swirled them into something unexpected, something more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. When we are trudging through deep, grey, suffocating ashes, it is impossible to hope that we will ever breathe clean air again or see a clear sky unsmudged with death, desperation, and decay.

BUT THEN GOD.

Isaiah 61:1-3 

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.

Washing Away The Sins of Our Impetuous Youth

Hubby knew the radiologist wanted me to stay out of the sun for the six weeks of radiation. He also knew I wouldn't. So he got me this super-wide brimmed sunhat for my birthday. I love it. I put it on and went on a walk immediately. It blocks the sun from my face as well as half of the neighborhood.

So no one starts screaming at me, I am allowed to be in the sun as long as I block it from the radiated parts of my body. The hat and a high neck t-shirt do that.

I finished my first week of radiation and get the weekend off from melting my skin! Today, I head joyfully to a baby shower for one of the most "high drama" encounters I've ever had at the abortion center where I stand on the sidewalk and encourage mamas to choose life. Due to privacy issues, all I can tell you is it involved coercion by the young lady's family to abort, a police chase, threats to me and my car, driving for an hour trying to find a safe house for the underage mama, and ultimately God working in miraculous ways to save the teen and her baby. Today will be the baby shower that celebrates her tenacity and determination to save her baby no matter the cost.

She doesn't have an easy road ahead of her, but she has shown that she is filled with courage, and she does know the Lord. She accepted Jesus as savior when she met us on the sidewalks of the abortion center. Tears poured out of her as she asked Jesus into her life after we shared the Gospel. We prayed with her while demons were rattling the door of our HELP Crisis Pregnancy Center mobile ultrasound RV. Peace reigned within, because as we know from the Bible, "where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them". Jesus blocked all evil influence right on the sidewalk of the Southeast's busiest abortion center.

This sweet mama will win the battle if she keeps Jesus first in her life. I was pondering how deeply I wished I had known God from my childhood. I like to think that perhaps I would have made less terrible choices. The sins I committed not only affected me, but had lifelong repercussions to people I didn't even yet know at the time. Sin is a ripple in the water that extends far from the stone that first set it in motion.

We don't really know that when we are young. We have no idea of the extent of damage sin inflicts. I sure didn't. Now that I am sixty, I sure do.

So on my birthday, I found myself crying buckets of tears, regretful and remorseful for things that happened decades ago that I cannot take back now. All I can do now is feel the sorrow, and ask God for forgiveness. He grants it and removes the stain of sin from the second I accept Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. It does not remove my remorse or worldly consequences, but before God, I stand forgiven and redeemed.

As part of my birthday schedule, I instructed my art class of nursing home residents in the use of pastels to render a barn and fields. I showed them that surprisingly, it is possible to correct mistakes when using those messy chalk pastels.

"You smudge out the incorrect marks, then spray it with hairspray. After the spray dries, you can go over it with more pastel, and correct the mistake. It is as though you never even made that wrong mark!"

It occurred to me at that moment, that I was rehashing my tearful thoughts of my morning walk.
"It is like washing away our sin. When we accept Jesus as Lord, God no longer looks at our sin. It is washed away, and He sees it no more." I hadn't planned to say that...but it poured out of me.

A few residents nodded. One smiled. No one grew upset. Old people know how much we all long to wash away the sins of our impetuous youth.

*****************
For my latest book, an inspiring and funny novel about how the past does NOT define who we are, click HERE. I would be so grateful for reviews from those who enjoy my book.
*****************

Isaiah 1:18 

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.

1 John 1:9 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Psalm 51:7 

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

John 3:16 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

God is Sovereign

Today, I have lived six decades on earth. I can't believe it. How did I get so old? But here is the really good news. My doctor told me I am CLEARED TO KAYAK, now six weeks out from my reconstructive surgery after the mastectomy. I am NOT TO OVERDO IT, which will be a challenge, but I have been given the green light on my birthday!

Since I am teaching an art class at the nursing home in the morning, and then meeting my daughter who wants to take me out for a birthday lunch, I sadly will NOT have time to kayak before my daily radiation session in the afternoon. However, it is enough to know I am now allowed to kayak.

So, after living six decades on earth, what have I learned?
1. God is good, sovereign, and everything.
2. Cancer sucks.
3. In the midst of the most devastating circumstances in life, God engineers beauty out of ashes.
4. I can do nothing without God. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

Happy Birthday to me!
If you want to help me celebrate, buy my book HERE.
***************

1 Chronicles 29:11-12 

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all. In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all.

Working the Radiation Room -- Always Find the Silver Lining

Radiation for my second session went much more smoothly than Day One. First of all, I was not scared out of my noggin. Secondly, I accepted the washcloth for my eyes this time so I didn't have to keep them squeezed shut. Thirdly, there was no computer malfunction as on Day One so I was in and out of there within ten minutes.

The sweet technician asked me how my day had gone so far.
"Great! I am an author and I just released my latest novel. This morning, I wrote 5,000 words on the new book's sequel."
"Wow!" she said, "What sort of books do you write?"
As I described my books, the second technician came in and was also interested.
Two more potential readers!  And I still have five full weeks of radiation to go! I could double my readership by the time I finish with cancer.

Maybe I'll do a book signing outside the chemo room...
Radiation is a quick in-and-out treatment but chemo takes hours. They could use good, clean, inspiring reading material.

While resting under my washcloth, listening to the whir of the radiation machine doing its thing, I was working on my sequel's plot development. I have a very general idea of what will happen, but it is quite vague. I don't know how it will end. Some writers plan it all out with meticulous detail. I usually start writing, and the book develops a life of its own. It rarely goes in ways I expect or plan. It is almost other-worldly, as though someone other than me is in control.

Which is true. Someone other than me IS in control. I am really grateful for that. The Holy Spirit indwells me, and guides me, and comforts me.  I will blame the Holy Spirit if my new book bombs and doesn't sell. (Just kidding. Any flaws are not the Holy Spirit's but mine...)

Here is the lesson for the day. Who would ever imagine that in a radiation treatment room, God would be at work helping with such a mundane thing as financial security? I am an author. If my books don't sell, I go broke. God knows that. If I must have cancer, the need to make a living doesn't change. How incredibly gracious of God to open doors even in such an unlikely setting.

This is not only true of financial issues, but of all issues. If God is really in control, and it would be foolish to presume otherwise, then of course He can work in any environment. Even in a radiation room where so much fear and sorrow resides. That is exactly the sort of quirky place where God reveals His power.
***************

Isaiah 49:3 He said to Me, "You are My Servant, Israel, In Whom I will show My glory."

John 1:14 And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 13:31-32

Therefore when he had gone out, Jesus said, "Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in Him; if God is glorified in Him, God will also glorify Him in Himself, and will glorify Him immediately.

John 17:5 "Now, Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.

2 Corinthians 4:6 For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness," is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

A New Mission Field: Radiation Treatment Room

So, for those of you lucky enough to never need radiation therapy, here is your chance to know what it is like. I was so scared all morning yesterday, prior to my first treatment session. I worked on the pastel at the top of this blog to keep my mind off the torture I was certain I would have to endure. I also started the sequel to my latest new novel. I am so grateful I have a creative mind that can take me places that are so much more pleasant than my reality.

I was petrified as I changed into my gown, and sat down to await my fate. I was certain the machine would malfunction and I would be burned to a crisp. They came to get me, and I notified them immediately that I was very scared. They assured me there was nothing to be afraid of.

"Fine...then let's trade places, shall we?" Surprise, surprise, no takers on my offer.

They positioned me on the bed of torture and offered a washcloth to put over my eyes.
"No thanks, I am fine."
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Always take whatever comfort is offered.

The lights that come on last a long time and you can see them through your (clenched tightly shut) eyelids. Sometimes they are bright blood red, and seep into all the cracks in your brain. Sometimes they are neon green, and feel like a drug flashback. Sometimes, they pulse unexpectedly just when you can no longer stand to squeeze your eyes shut a moment longer, and you see they are still there, lurking a little lower, but they find your vulnerable eyeball and blind you.

They told me I would only be on the table ten minutes tops, and the treatment itself (a.k.a. dangerous radiation) lasts only a minute or two. I was on the table 45 minutes. NO LIE. I was thinking it was the LONGEST ten minutes I had ever lived through, but I had just prayed that morning that God would not let me wish my life away by wanting terrible things to happen quickly so I could just get them over with.

I got my wish.

It turns out, despite my vague sense throughout that I was being slowly fried like an egg, most of the time was just them waiting through a computer glitch, and then the doctor being on the phone and unavailable. So all those endless minutes while I was envisioning my skin being slowly grilled, nothing was going on except the technicians chatting and sipping coffee in the safe room. I suspect they were playing with those excruciatingly bright light switches just to mess with me.

I could have sworn I felt soldering irons burning through my bones. Nope. TOTALLY my imagination. This is the danger of a creative mind. So after enduring 40 minutes of sheer terror, thinking I would not live even though it did not hurt at all...they came back in and told me they were now ready to START the treatment.

START???? ARE YOU SERIOUS???

And no offers of washcloths over my eyes this time, which I would have killed my grandmother for, if she were still alive. Which she is not.

When they came back after the treatment, they told me I could now go. I sat up shakily. I told them I felt a tightness in my chest skin. They laughed, politely, and told me I would not feel or see any skin changes for a couple of weeks. The tightness was from holding my arm in the outstretched position for so long, which they apologized for. It would go much smoother and faster from now on.

I returned to the changing room where I met a couple of other women who are old pros at radiation. They were finishing their several weeks of treatment, and assured me, they had had no problems whatsoever. One even showed me her breast, which looked a little red, like a minor sunburn, but that was all.

She was quite social, and soon was telling me about her horses.
"Horses!" I said, "I love horses!! I am an author and I write books about horses!"
(Perhaps you haven't heard about my latest book and didn't know it is GREAT and you should order it right now, HERE: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01JH39CJU#navbar) Consider it a charitable donation to curing cancer...mine.

She asked for my business card (which I happened to have with me) and I think I made a sale. You never know what benefits might come from radiation.

Fortunately, I had lots of opportunities to share my faith.
"Is there anything I can get you?"
"No, I'll just pray...."

"Would you like to listen to music while you are on the table?"
"Yes, Christian music if you have it."

"Did you have to get chemo?"
"No...it was a miracle. They were certain I would, but praise God, I was spared that."

One of my cancer survivor friends told me radiation would be an opportunity to have a new mission field. She was right. It gave me a sense of purpose in the midst of all that fear.

As I left, I felt like a new woman. I had done it. I had survived my first radiation treatment.
************************

Mark 16:15 

And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.

Matthew 28:19-20 

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Acts 6:4 

But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.”