Refreshing my Soul

I walked or ran a total of 13 miles through Richmond yesterday. It was our last day with my son and his wife after delivering our piano to their new home. Since they both had errands or commitments for part of the day, and hubby was also occupied, I had the joy of wandering my new favorite city alone. I love to meander for hours, following the path where the spirit leads me.

In the morning, I ran along the James River, and braved the dangling pedestrian bridge over the river. I remember years ago when my son first moved here, I didn't dare cross that scary bridge. Now I do it with barely a rise in my blood pressure.

 As you can see from the photo, it is worth overcoming the fear. The view from that swaying, vibrating bridge is worth every near heart attack I endured to conquer my apprehension. In some ways, it is like the leap of faith when I first entrusted my life to Jesus. It was a complete unknown after a life of agnosticism (at best). I had no idea if I could really trust and submit my soul to a God I barely knew and barely believed in. How could I dare take that first step?? I am so glad I did. The views God has revealed to me can be seen no other way.

The scenery along the James River is spectacular, especially when the sun is just risen, the colors are deep, the shadows long, and the promise of day as yet untarnished.

Then, after church, I wandered to the section of town called Churchhill, which rises far above the river and looks down on a stunning vista.

It is impossible to capture the beauty of this spot in a photograph. I looped the park over and over again, looking out over the beautiful James River and city below me.

We met back up with our son and his wife for a late lunch, and then were back on the road again to return home. My feet were tired, but my soul was refreshed. Another parallel with how one feels on the journey with God!
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Jeremiah 31:25

For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.”

Give God the Glory

Yesterday, while waiting for my son and wonderful daughter-in-law to finish errands, I biked thirty miles on the Virginia Capital Trail. The fifteen miles out of Richmond were effortless. The route is stunning. I would possibly come to Richmond to bike this trail even if my beloved son and wife were not here! So many lovely surprises, like a little lake tucked away in a charming park.

I could probably do ten more miles out and still make it back before their errands are complete, I thought.
The angel on my other shoulder said, "No, that would be nuts. Turn around. If you have extra energy you can go for a walk later."

Praise God I listened to that second voice.

As soon as I turned around, I realized why the way out had been so effortless. I had had a very strong tail wind. But guess what? Now, after biking one and a half hours already, I had fifteen miles to bike back against a very strong head wind.

Not good.

Nonetheless, what choice did I have? God sent me a head-wind, and my mode of transportation was a bike. My options were: a.) sit down and cry, or b.) get on my bike and start pedaling against the very strong head wind.

I chose the latter. Not because I was brave, not because I was strong. Because I had to.

One of the interesting observations on my cancer journey is how many people tell me I am brave as I travel this path. I appreciate the encouragement, truly I do. However, there is not one iota of bravery involved. What choice do I have? I could curl up and die where I am...or I get on my bike and pedal against a very strong head wind. So, I appreciate the encouragement, but I give God the glory.

One way or another, I manage to arrive home.

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1 Corinthians 10:31 

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Matthew 5:16

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

Whatever You Do, Do It For God

Our piano is being re-homed in my son and daughter-in-law's new house. Actually, their house is not new, though new to them. It is a gorgeous historic home in Richmond, built in 1900. Hubby drives the piano to Richmond today in a huge rental truck. I came a day early hoping to bike the wonderful Capital Trail. However, when I arrived, it was so windy and cold, I decided to go for a long walk instead. Fighting a head wind on the bike didn't sound like fun.

I had not yet seen my son's home, so meandered through his new neighborhood. Both he and his wife were at work. They won't be moving in to the house for a couple of months while renovations are being completed. When I walked by his house, the front door was wide open. I saw workmen at the top of the stairs as I poked my head in. Drop clothes littered the floor, dust from sanding was everywhere.

"Hello?" they said, noticing me.
"Hi! I'm the mother of the man who bought this place. If I can prove to you I really am who I say I am, will you take me on a tour?"

There is only our family and one brother with the name Kaseorg in the entire United States, so they knew I was who I claimed to be, and didn't even ask for a photo ID. With obvious pride and delight in the work they were doing to restore this beautiful home, the workmen led me to each room. They told me exactly what they would be doing. They seemed as excited as I was by the fireplaces in each room, the ten-foot ceilings, the magnificent spiral staircase and huge twenty foot expanse of windows in the living room, the lovely old hardwood floors, the exquisite staircase railing, even the old damaged parquet floor in the kitchen which will have to be totally replaced. They mourned with me that the lovely brick wall will have to be covered because it is not true to the period the house was built.

When I left, I told them they seemed to really enjoy their job.
"I love it," one worker said, "Restoring these great old houses. Really love it."

His response was a contrast to how most people respond to the daily grind. On my drive to Richmond, I heard a sermon about how to handle discouragement in your daily work. The pastor said that one verse transformed his satisfaction in his job.

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men...Colossians 3:23

Our work is one of the ways in which we glorify God. Our standard in not the standard of our bosses, or other workers, but of Christ Himself. It is to Him we give our efforts. It was God Himself who instituted the concept of work. In the garden of Eden, Adam was immediately set to work tilling the soil and tending the crops. Work is the vehicle by which God designed humans to use their time and meet their needs to supply food and shelter.

We work to please God. No matter what we do, menial tasks or world-altering, we are to perform them heartily as for the Lord, not for men. I don't know about you, but that changes how I think about the drudgery of daily tasks.

Afterwards, I continued on my walk. I saw a man, obviously spaced out on drugs with a cat on his shoulder. I stopped to talk with him. He let me pet his cat, who he said rides on his shoulder all day. 
"Jesus loves you," I told him. I wanted to heal him, but of course, could not.
"Jesus is the biggest scam artist who ever lived," he said, with a slur.
"No," I said gently, "He is real."
"He didn't change water into wine...he taught us how to do it ourselves and then took the credit," the man said, his eyeballs rolling about.
"He loves you," I repeated, as I walked away.

I felt totally ineffectual. However, I prayed that somehow those words, Jesus Loves YOU, would reach whatever hurting place inside that man that made him need drugs to make it through his day. I wished I could have thought of more to say, but it was all that came to mind. May God use it, and multiply the effect.

I shook the somber thoughts away. How lucky my kids are to have found workmen who seem to embody the principle of that verse about working to God's glory, delighting in the intrinsic value of their work and tackling it heartily!


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Colossians 3: 23-25

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

Wonderfully Knitted in My Mother's Womb

Yesterday was a double-header of delight. First, I went on a long walk, doing errands like depositing a check. Then, I got an email on my phone that said I was being offered a free bagel from Panera every day this month. WHAT???

I didn't believe it, but on my walk, I stopped off at Panera. I showed the cashier the message on my phone. Lo and behold, this was TRUE. So I ordered a pumpkin bagel.
"With butter or cream cheese?" she asked me.

NO WAY! Not only was the bagel free, one EACH day in November, but so was toasting it, and smothering it with butter or cream cheese.
"Butter please," I squeaked.

As I walked out of there, with my FREE buttered pumpkin toasted bagel, I thought my life can NOT get much better than this. 

UNTIL I GOT HOME.

There was a package on my doorstep from my Aunt Elaine. I ripped it open. Inside was a gorgeous, hand knitted 'prayer shawl' created just for me by the Prayer Shawl Ministry of Sacred Heart Church in Southbury, Connecticut.

On the cover of the little pamphlet included with my prayer shawl was one of my very favorite verses which I cite all the time on the sidewalks of the abortion center when I speak to the abortion-minded women:

You created every part of me, knitting me in my Mother's womb. For such handiwork I praise you. Awesome this great wonder!" Psalm 139:13-14

If God knit me together with half the love the women at the Sacred Heart Church knitted my shawl, then I am loved indeed! You are too. So is every baby knitted in the mother's womb.

I wrapped the prayer shawl around my shoulders, and nestled my tired sore frozen shoulder into the enveloping warmth. "All I did to deserve this was contract a nasty disease," I thought as I cuddled against the thick warm wool. What a beautiful picture of God's grace! We cannot earn it. We don't deserve it. Yet He wraps us in its abundant warmth and reminds us we are beloved just because He created us.
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Genesis 1:27 

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Colossians 3:10 

And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.

Glimpse of How God Works, Special Pro-life Announcement

I have been blessed by an incredible friend who is giving me therapeutic massage for my frozen shoulder. Much of what she does is just miraculous in my opinion, and so much of it reminds me of how God works.

For example, I have LOTS of painful "trigger points" in my body. I am not sure of the official definition of a trigger point, but in me, they are the places that HURT A LOT. The pain in those trigger points are what are impeding my ability to move my arm and other body parts without intense pain. So Miracula, my therapist, kneads her fingers with as much pressure as I can tolerate on the trigger point. Just at the moment I am about to shout, "STOP!!! That hurts too much!", the muscle 'releases' the tension it has been unnaturally maintaining, and the pain stops.

The trick is, I must be willing to go to the edge of pain in order to be healed.

Well, isn't that so often how God works? No one grows in character or strength if life is always easy and pain-free. The only way any of us test our faith and our courage is through difficult situations. Courage is not required if there is not a fearful task before us. Strength is not required if weakness would suffice. Faith is never called upon if we never face a situation we are certain we cannot overcome on our own power. We must go to the point of crying out, "Stop!!! That hurts too much!" before we know what we can bear...and witness what God can do.

That is the point at which God releases His courage, His strength, His Power. If we trust Him enough to take us to that point, and then watch what He can accomplish, our faith will grow, and our spirit will be healed. We are released into the reality and infinite goodness of His presence. Really. If my suffering has taught me anything, it has taught me this. Unless God stretches you beyond your own resources, you will not need Him or appreciate Him fully.

This is the beauty of suffering. It brings you to places you would never otherwise experience. Those places, close to the heart of God, are worth it.

I awoke this morning after so much wonderful massage and physiotherapy, only to find myself really stiff with my shoulder range at least 20 degrees WORSE. I don't know what prompted me, but I started a slow dance of my arms, modifying an exercise the PT had shown me. Slowly, miraculously, in the graceful (?) arcs of my arms, my whole body began to relax, the arcs became wider and higher, and soon, my frozen shoulder was moving pain-free with more range of motion than I have seen in months. I would not have believed it if I hadn't been there.

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 SPECIAL PRO-LIFE ANNOUNCEMENT:
We are on our way to our hope for an unborn baby Christmas Chorus. So far, I have two fetal monitors, and one amplifier. I need about 3 or 4 more of each. Just to borrow. We intend to line pregnant mamas up at the abortion center, and let their babies heart-beats shout out over the amplifiers: "We are here! We are alive! We are made like you in God's image!" My plan is to then have a choir of faithful Christians sing Christmas carols with the heartbeats as our drums.

Can you imagine the reaction of those entering that dark place to take the lives of their own babies?


Who can help?
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1 Peter 5:10 

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

James 1:2-4 

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Romans 8:18 

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

1 Peter 4:12-19

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. ...

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

When Yet Another Calamity Strikes...How Do We Endure?

Well, the good news is the Physical Therapist who saw me for the first time yesterday believes my shoulder is not fully frozen yet, and she can help me. In fact, in the first hour session, she only hurt me a tiny bit, and I felt better with a looser, more mobile arm when I left. She told me she will reserve judgment till right before my Thanksgiving trip to Florida but thinks I might be allowed to kayak with the dolphins and manatees. She would prefer I not kayak before then.


On a less happy front, my appointment the following hour with the dermatologist revealed a likely carcinoma on my forearm. It is not melanoma, which is good. It will have to be biopsied, and likely surgically removed. She froze a suspicious scaly area off my forehead, which has bubbled up now and makes me look a little gross.

The fun just never stops.

I read one of my favorite verses in the Bible yesterday for my daily study, and I think it is relevant here:
I will repay you for the years the locust have eaten...Joel 2:25 

God does not always bring joyous events our way. Truth be told, much of life is painful and difficult. Lately, I have had a fair share (or really, unfair share in my humble opinion) of trouble and discomfort. Yet, I trust that God has His purpose even in this.


I am not superwoman. I grow discouraged, particularly when the pins are just reset, and a new bowling ball knocks them down before I have even finished aligning them properly. This verse in Joel gives me hope. God sees and knows our despair and disappointments. This world may seem endlessly impossible but His promise is clear. What we have lost will be restored if we do not lose faith.

I am counting on that.
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Joel 2: 12-27

“Now, therefore,” says the Lord,
“Turn to Me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.”
¹³ So rend your heart, and not your garments;
Return to the Lord your God,
For He is gracious and merciful,
Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
And He relents from doing harm.
¹⁴ Who knows if He will turn and relent,
And leave a blessing behind Him—
A grain offering and a drink offering
For the Lord your God?
¹⁵ Blow the trumpet in Zion,
Consecrate a fast,
Call a sacred assembly;
¹⁶ Gather the people,
Sanctify the congregation,
Assemble the elders,
Gather the children and nursing babes;
Let the bridegroom go out from his chamber,
And the bride from her dressing room.
¹⁷ Let the priests, who minister to the Lord,
Weep between the porch and the altar;
Let them say, “Spare Your people, O Lord,
And do not give Your heritage to reproach,
That the nations should rule over them.
Why should they say among the peoples,
‘Where is their God?’”

¹⁸ Then the Lord will be zealous for His land,
And pity His people.
¹⁹ The Lord will answer and say to His people,
“Behold, I will send you grain and new wine and oil,
And you will be satisfied by them;
I will no longer make you a reproach among the nations.

²⁰ “But I will remove far from you the northern army,
And will drive him away into a barren and desolate land,
With his face toward the eastern sea
And his back toward the western sea;
His stench will come up,
And his foul odor will rise,
Because he has done monstrous things.”

²¹ Fear not, O land;
Be glad and rejoice,
For the Lord has done marvelous things!
²² Do not be afraid, you beasts of the field;
For the open pastures are springing up,
And the tree bears its fruit;
The fig tree and the vine yield their strength.
²³ Be glad then, you children of Zion,
And rejoice in the Lord your God;
For He has given you the former rain faithfully,
And He will cause the rain to come down for you—
The former rain,
And the latter rain in the first month.
²⁴ The threshing floors shall be full of wheat,
And the vats shall overflow with new wine and oil.

²⁵ “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten,
The crawling locust,
The consuming locust,
And the chewing locust,
My great army which I sent among you.
²⁶ You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
And praise the name of the Lord your God,
Who has dealt wondrously with you;
And My people shall never be put to shame.
²⁷ Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel:
I am the Lord your God

Ensure Justice For Those Being Crushed

One mama chose life yesterday at the abortion center. The driver, probably the boyfriend who we think was coercing the woman to abort, was very angry. He gunned his engine and blasted by us on his way out of the abortion center. Good thing we have quick reflexes. That was the expression of his gratitude for speaking on behalf of his baby. You're welcome, sir.

Not everyone is so thankless. The woman in the photo above was the friend of a pregnant woman she brought to the abortion center. She listened to Flip (on the microphone in the background) and was convicted that not only was her friend terribly wrong in aborting, but she herself shouldn't even be there in support of her friend.

"I did everything I knew to do to talk her out of it," she said.
"There is one more thing you could do," I told her. I gave her our literature and asked her to bring it in to her friend. She did so right away. After a long time, she returned.
"They wouldn't let me see her. I told them it was an emergency, but they refused."

We talked with her for some time. Tears dribbled from her eyes as she expressed how helpless she felt, wanting to support her friend but feeling what her friend was doing was wrong. When we finished talking with her, we gave her more literature she could share with her friend in case she went through with the abortion, telling her it would help her friend find healing. I told her my name and phone number was on the first page, and encouraged her to tell her friend to call me. Then, she asked if she could hug us, thanking us for being there and for speaking truth so boldly. She asked to pray with us. She may not have stopped her friend this time, but I bet she will stop the next woman who confides in her that she is considering abortion.

So many people misconstrue what the pro-life people do on the sidewalk. I guess I don't know what all pro-life groups do, but I do know what Cities4Life does. We do not condemn. We do not protest. We do not disparage. We speak words of hope and healing from the only source this can emanate from - God. We reach out with love to women who feel they have no options. We present truth and facts, and offer compassionate medical help and advice from trained professionals. We provide tangible help. We pray with them, and we weep for them...and with them.
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Proverbs 31:8
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.