Where to find Peace

I looked in all the usual places.....no Lucky. The chronic escapist, trouble making dog was not in any of his beds, couches, or crates early this morning, as I crept out of my room, with darkness still dripping from the night.
Ohoh.  I had taken off his electric collar, thinking at nearly 9 years old, surely surely he no longer wanted to dig tunnels or climb the fence to get out of the large, lush back yard that had everything a dog could want.
I hurried out back, noticing stars still twinkling in the still, cold sky.

Lucky lay in the middle of the yard. Honeybun raced out at my heels, and seeing the golden blob on the grass, she began barking to warn me of this alien intruder.
"That's your brother, dope," I told her.
Lucky looked at us, as though there was nothing at all unusual in him spending the night curled up on the cold, damp ground.
"Lucky, do you want to eat?" I called.
He gazed at us, but remained still in the quiet night. Honeybun began twirling in circles and racing back and forth to her food bowl. I glanced a few times at Lucky as the sun began to lighten the dawn. He didn't move, except to peacefully turn his head and perk his ears at the sounds of the world awakening. Lucky seemed to be quietly greeting the new day.

Matt texted me last night. He thinks he may have broken some fingers, which he will have xrayed today. This is not happy news at any time, but particularly as he heads into his last week of his first year of law school.
Did you break them turning so many thousand of pages of law books? Or perhaps typing so many thousands of words of papers and briefs ? Perhaps you broke them while lugging all your books back and forth from the library where you were busily preparing for your final exams?


No, he broke them playing frisbee. Law school is rough, I guess.


And then he texted me, "and I got attacked by a dog."
What!? Were you attacked by the dog while walking to your professor's home where you would discuss some of the fascinating cases you are studying? Were you attacked in the early morning as you trudged through the mist to a study group of other devoted students? Or in the evening having worked hours on your paid research job in hopes of glowing recommendations to gain you the best internship possible to fund your marriage in two months?

No, he was attacked while on a run. A pleasure run, I might add. Not a run to the library, or professor, or job.

It is not that I want my son miserable, or working every second of every day.... I just find it curious that this first year law student has time to do anything but study. It just seems like misplaced serenity....like Lucky spending the night just watching the bats flit overhead. He did well his first semester, so I will just hope that he is putting in the time and effort he needs to pass.

Then he texted me a new recipe he had made up for making quiche. He had devised a clever way to make a gourmet low fat crust. He typed in all the delicious, healthy ingredients, that even I would have no idea where to go to shop for.

"Well if law school doesn't work out , you could become a chef," I suggested.

I went to check on Lucky. Maybe he was injured? He still lay in the middle of the grass, shivering a little. I walked over to him, and he wagged his tail and stood up. All seemed fine. The noises of the neighborhood were slowly erupting across the stillness as the sun rose. He looked around, sniffing. Sometimes you just have to settle into the silence, and the joy, and the delight of the world. Sometimes you just have to step outside the daily grind and hear the beating of your own heart in the infinite stretch of the sky. Sometimes you have to break fingers playing frisbee instead of laboriously turning countless pages. I tend to be more like Job, who cries out , " I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest but only turmoil." (Job 3:26).  I like that my son and my dog can remove themselves from the ravaging tumult of overwhelming business and noise of life. As long as they know when to come in......

Lucky finally came in and scarfed down his breakfast. The hard work of a dog began. There were countless people walking by the house that he would need to bark at. Servicemen would be traipsing in nearby yards that he would need to terrorize. Squirrels would need to be chased, and holes would need to be dug. But for that brief portion of that cold still night, he had known peace.

It might not come so easily to me, but I do know the source of real peace. It is the only time I have found true quietness for my soul. It is when I have opened the pages of His book and rested in His promises.

We were reading a novel about World War 2 yesterday. It is a true story of a man who went to war, was gravely injured, and crippled for life as a result. He was filled with anger, bitterness, and despair over what he had seen, what he had done, and what he had become. But his mother had given him a book, a very important book, he wrote, which he had stashed at the bottom of his backpack before he had gone off to war.
I paused in my reading to Asherel, "And what book was that?" I asked smiling.
She wrinkled her head in thought. "The phone book?"
I blinked at her.
"The phone book? Her only son is going off to war, she herself is dying and may never see him again, and the important book she slips in his backpack is the phone book?"
Sometimes I wonder if this whole homeschool thing is working.
I think I need to go lie in the cold, damp backyard with Lucky under the stars and regain some peace.

Psalm 4:7-8

⁷ Fill my heart with joy
   when their grain and new wine abound.
 ⁸ In peace I will lie down and sleep,
   for you alone, LORD,
   make me dwell in safety.