The Details of the Plan

     I seem to be taking a turn for the better- the nausea and intense aches gone, and my nose drying up. Nothing makes one appreciate good health more than when you don't have it. I spent the day again lying around, but did drive Asherel home from her volunteer work.Arvo drove her there, since at that point, I was still not sure I would live.
     Asherel was helping out at a children's camp teaching the kids to draw. The organizer liked her so much, she asked her back for a second day. When I picked Asherel up, she was glowing. I feel the same way after extending myself for others. She had a picture in her hand.
     "What's that?" I asked.
     She handed it to me. It was an exquisite and detailed sketch of one of the fairy like creatures from our new Christmas gift game, Mario Smash Brothers. (Yes, I know....it is a game where characters do indeed smash each other, and I did not allow my first two children to own it, much as Matt begged me. In my old age and with child number three, I am just worn out. I hope and pray she does not beg me for heroin next....)

     I took the drawing from her and gazed at it.
     "Did you have a picture to look at?" I asked.
     "No...it was just from memory."
     It was astonishing. This is my greatest downfall as an artist. I have lousy visual memory. The exquisite detail in Asherel's drawing made the fairy jump off the page, as though she were alive. What a gift, I thought.

     That very day while driving to pick Asherel up, I had noticed a field that took my breath away. On the horizon were trees, stretching to a robin egg blue sky. In the foreground were rolling olive hills, and golden waves of reeds and grasses.
     "If only I could seal this in my mind and draw it when I get home," I thought.
     So when I got home I tried. I could picture the colors, and the emotion the scene had evoked in me, but unlike Asherel, I could not picture details.
     I find this extends to most areas of my life. I can remember the emotion of events, the general gestalt of events, but the specifics often elude me. I think I had to develop an imagination and a creative mind to fill in all those gaps that I can never remember.It is doubly disconcerting to me as I believe God is a God of details. All you have to do is read the Bible to see the excruciating exactness of God's plans, God's messages, and God's working in the lives of men. A very difficult passage for me to wade through is God's directions on how the Temple was to be built. Every minute detail is carefully mandated. Every measurement, every material, even how the carved angels wings are to meet over the ark of the covenant. How did David and Solomon even begin to think they could get it all right?

     David actually tells us how. He says God gave him the ability to understand His plan. This is remarkable and gives me great comfort. I cannot know God, not fully. I cannot understand Him, not completely. I certainly cannot discern the breadth of His plan for humankind, let alone for me. What hope do I have of following Him then? He Himself gives us the ability to follow His plan, just like He tells David in 1 Chronicles. If our heart's desire is to seek Him, to follow Him, He provides the details.

     "When did you draw this?" I asked Asherel, returning the gorgeous sketch.
     "In my spare time."
     "What did you have the kids draw today?"
     " A llama."
     " A llama! why a llama?"
     "It's what they voted for."
     "Have you ever drawn a llama before?" I asked.
     "No...but it turned out looking just like a llama."

1 Chronicles 28:
¹⁹ “All this,” David said, “I have in writing as a result of the LORD’s hand on me, and he enabled me to understand all the details of the plan.”
 ²⁰ David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished.