Creating Wonderful Moments

From Monuque Anstee's Naughty Doggie Facebook page:

"No matter how naughty your dog, and regardless of behaviours that you are
struggling with, you need to create a minimum of ten moments a day where you can truly praise your dog with pride.
It is up to you to create a minimum of ten wonderful moments - do not wait
for your dog to give them to you."

Amen! I saw this quote on a friend's facebook page yesterday and just loved it! And this applies to children as well. And to mothers. Children, take this seriously: no matter how irritating your mother is, take ten minutes every day where you can truly praise her with pride.

I chatted with a mother of a child with a sensory processing problem yesterday. I was an occupational therapist (OT) many years ago, and specialized in working with kids with processing disorders. When people call me for advice, which they do now and then, I try to help, though I no longer practice OT. This poor mom was at wit's end. She described meltdowns that the child seemed unable to control, and the disapproving looks of passersby as the poor mother tried to calm her child's sensory overload. She didn't want to punish the behavior because in her gut, she knew the child was at the mercy of a nervous system gone amok. She knew others thought this was just a bratty child, and their silent condemnation added pain to her already burdened soul.

The child has been diagnosed, and is in therapy, but I guess the therapist hasn't fully explained things, and the mother is still feeling lost and overwhelmed. She wanted guidance in how to prevent the meltdowns, and also, in how to understand her daughter. She didn't think the behavior was willful...but she didn't want to err on permitting behavior the child was in control of. I think more than anything what she wanted me to tell her was she was not crazy- her gut was correct. The child needed therapy, not punishment, and there was hope. With good therapy, it would get better. I described over the phone some techniques she could try and she was so happy, so grateful, and said several times, "Oh my daughter will LOVE that!"

When I hung up, I felt really good. I had a very good sense about this case. The mother had good instincts, the child was hopefully about to receive what she really needed, and I think soon, the mother will truly be able to "create ten minutes a day where she could truly praise her with pride." Best of all, the little girl would perhaps be better understood, and maybe would not grow to feel bad about herself over things she could not help. I told the mom that when the girl melted down, perhaps she could try the therapy techniques I suggested, while telling the girl, "I know you don't like it when you lose control, and I am going to help you learn ways to prevent that." The child would know that the mom was on her side.

I can relate to that little girl... and to that mom. I don't usually have meltdowns, but I behave in ways that I wish I didn't and sometimes don't know why I do. I do that as a child of God, and I do that as a sometimes clueless mother of children. But I have a Heavenly Father, who wraps His arms around me, and tells me that He understands, and He will help me to learn ways to prevent that. And then He engulfs me in His spirit, and holds me tightly until relief and hope flood through me again.
No matter how naughty I am, or how manifold the behaviors I am struggling with, He sees me as I will be, not as I am, and loves me.

Psalm 109:21-22,31 (NIV)
But you, Sovereign Lord, help me for your name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me. [22] For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. [31] For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save their lives from those who would condemn them.




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