Kindness

No longer able to borrow the furniture we'd been using for Mom K from the old Home, we had to go buy a dresser for the new Home. While Arvo dealt with the paperwork and other moving details, I went off to Goodwill to find a small dresser. There was a dresser there, but it was large and heavy. That would not do. So I headed off for my first visit to the new Salvation Army store. It was more expensive than Goodwill, and had nicer furniture than we have in our home. (OK, so that is not super hard to do...but still...)

Right away, I spotted two small dressers. Perfect size and one looked antique and charming. Both were in our price range. The other was a more traditional dresser. The charming one was $10 more. Buy or not? I decided to call Arvo and while I was calling, I edged over to the sales desk to ask about the dressers. And as I did so, I saw someone else prowl by both dressers! And then she circled back to my charming one, the one I wanted for Mom K's new room! I hung up on Arvo and told the salesman, "I want one of those, but not sure which one."
"Let's get the tag off each," he said kindly, noticing the prowler, "While you decide so no one else takes the one you decide on."
The woman, who had settled by the charming dresser did not give me the evil eye. In fact, she smiled at me.
She came over and said, "If you tell me what you want the dresser for, perhaps I can help you decide. It is my business. I buy furniture all the time to paint. Whichever one you don't want, I will take."

I was dumfounded. She probably knew quality furniture, as I assuredly did not, and I had only had my eye on it a split second before her. Yet here she was, offering help!
"Well," I said, "My mother-in-law is doing very badly and is being moved into a nursing home. We don't know how long she has, but we have to get her a dresser. She just needs a small one. I know that one over there is a more traditional dresser, but that one..." I pointed to the slightly more expensive one, "I just think is...charming."
"It is charming," agreed the kind woman, "And real wood. I don't think the other one is."
"So you think I should get the charming one?" I asked. I know. Asking the opinion of a complete stranger smacks of the highest degree of insecurity. If you have not had the numbing trauma of a loved one dying, I don't think you can quite understand how your brain dissolves. I hung on this kind woman's every word.
"I do," she said, "It is a lovely piece."
"Sold!" I told the salesman. "And thank you" I told the woman, touching her arm.
"Good luck with your mom," she said.

It is astonishing how much the kindness of strangers can ease sadness. (Not to mention kindness of friends, many of whom have written and offered prayers, meals, and shoulders to cry on.) I would have to hold on to that thought as I walked into Mom K's new home, and all those unfamiliar residents' faces peered at me. I stopped off at CVS for a toiletry kit for Mom K, and walked up to the same dour faced, rude cashier I had seen there a week ago. She looked blankly at me, then looked back down and continued setting some products neatly on the counter, ignoring her customer. I wondered what turmoils in life might have made her so cantankerous, so bitter.
"Hello!" I said with a big smile, "How are you? It is such a pretty day outside, isn't it?"
She looked up, and seemed surprised, then smiled back.

Later, Arvo moved Mom K into her new home with the charming dresser, and the German roommate. She smiled, ate a few bites of food, and then Arvo trimmed her fingernails. He cut one a little short and she yelped.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" he said. Mom K hasn't spoken in 5 days but she looked at him and said,
"Yeah, sure, YOU'RE sorry."

Genesis 21:23 (NIV)
Now swear to me here before God that you will not deal falsely with me or my children or my descendants. Show to me and the country where you now reside as a foreigner the same kindness I have shown to you.”




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