Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Memories




Asherel had a chemistry competition at the college here near our home. When my first born was young, he attended math classes there. He was quite young when he started college math, my little math genius. I used to drop him at class, and then wander the campus with my baby and my other young son. I got to know the campus intimately. I walked many miles on that campus, waiting for my first born to come out of his classes over the years.

So yesterday, while waiting for Asherel, I wandered over the campus. UNCC has done a lot of building in the past fifteen years. The little lake I used to circle, on an uneven dirt path, now has fancy brick sidewalks and a three tiered brick viewing platform. I remembered walking the dirt path long ago, and pointing out the frogs near the water edge to my children. I passed the giant sculpture that my baby Asherel used to play on. I grew quite nostalgic, and melancholy reliving those memories. I miss my oldest son. I miss waiting outside his class, watching him emerge, a little ten year old with the big college kids all around him. I miss my middle boy climbing the campus trees while Asherel looked up at him from her stroller. I miss the stories I would weave for the two of them, as we wandered along the lake shore waiting for the oldest to be done with class. Sometimes we would walk through the gardens, or play on the sculptures, amidst the college kids and sunbeams.

After I brought Asherel home from the contest, I went on to visit Mom K at the Nursing Home. She was meandering in and out of lucidity. She knew me, but she also thought that she was still living in her home in Florida. She wanted us to go "to her living room" where we could relax.
"Mom," I said, as she trailed off with a somewhat incomprehensible sentence, "Do you remember how to knit?"
She nodded, and instantly her fingers started going through the motions. I don't knit, but I could tell her fingers were moving correctly.
"If I brought you needles and yarn, do you think you could still knit?"
"Sure," she said, "What do you want me to make for you?"
"How about a scarf," I said.
Her fingers continued to knit with the imaginary needles, her muscles remembering.

As I had wandered over the campus yesterday, I felt sad. All that was left of those distant days was my memory of them. One never really thinks those days will end. It is always a bit surprising to realize even the memories are fading.

It is important, I thought, to savor the day, and don't wish away a moment. In the blink of an eye, dirt paths that held footprints of tiny tots will be covered in brick and no one will know that once they had been there.

While I was with Mom K, she had looked down at her left hand.
"My diamond is gone," she said, "And I don't know where it is."
I glanced at her hand. Her ring was indeed gone!
"Do you remember when you last had it?"
"No," she told me. Later I would find out that one of the nurses had found it on the floor of her room, and given it to Arvo. He didn't think his mom had even noticed it was gone. Her fingers had shrunk and it no longer fit. But while I was with her, she was sure it had been stolen.
"That is very sad," I told her.
"Yes," she said looking down, "Something like this...something so important."
"I don't know how people without God make it," I said, "At least we know that you won't need it in Heaven. All we will need in Heaven is God, and He will be there. We can't lose or forget Him there."
"Yes," she said smiling, remembering that clearly.


Deuteronomy 32:7 (NIV)
Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you.

2 Peter 1:12-15,19(NIV)
So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. [13] I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, [14] because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me. [15] And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things. [19] We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.





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