Not in Control

I used to get sick all the time as a little girl. And I don't remember a single Thanksgiving or Christmas when I didn't have some crud. But in the past few years I almost never get sick...until this week. It really ramped up Sunday while I was in Asheville for the First Annual Carolina Dog Rescue Group Picnic. Then by Sunday night, I had a sinking realization that I was in for a whopper. Yesterday and today, I have had a fever, headache, nausea, sore throat and constant sneezing. I haven't been this sick in half a lifetime. And I am here to tell you: IT IS NOT FUN.

I am staying reclined on the recliner with my iPad, working on my book. I feel too wretched to sleep. I have been drinking boatloads of tea, with honey and cinnamon per my holistic health friends' admonition. I am NOT a good patient. I cannot stand not going for walks, or kayaking, or bike riding when the day is beautiful fall weather like the past few days. The way you can tell I am really really sick is when I don't do any of that. I have not moved from the recliner, except to use the bathroom which is unfortunately a constant event since I am drinking boatloads of tea. I also had a big bowl of restorative chicken bone broth soup, per my nutritionist friend.

However, I have discovered it doesn't matter how many great remedies I pour down my throat. I am not in control of this illness and there is little I can do but rest, and let it take its course, and hope God is not ready yet to have me "shuffle off this mortal coil."

Still, in a strange way, I am enjoying the enforced rest. I feel awful, and don't love that part, but I sort of like the slow pace and being waited upon by my solicitous husband. I like not being able to help anyone for just a little while, and finding out that they can indeed help themselves. This is empowering to them and to me. Sometimes God has to smack me down, to the point where I can't get up for me to realize how good it is to loosen my grip of control of the world and let Him handle it. At least till I feel better.

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God is the one to fear, because God is in control and rules the heavens. (Job 25:2 CEVUK00)



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