Instinct or Spirit

I stood watching my dog Lucky roll delightedly on his favorite lawn at the far edge of our neighborhood, and had the strange sensation of being watched myself. Honeybun was sniffing while Lucky was rolling. I looked off into the forested edge of the favorite lawn, and there stood a mother deer and two speckled fawns. The fawns were eating, but the mother was on high alert. She saw my two predators only 50 feet away, and she stamped a foot. Her huge radar like ears were pointed at us and she was frozen in place, the massive dark eyes unblinking, and the foot every few seconds stamping.


"We won't hurt you," I told her, but she gave no indication of believing me. She didn't run, didn't even yet alert her babies, unless that is what the foot stamping was all about. I had the feeling that if we moved one step towards her, she would charge us. I don't know what damage a deer can do, except maybe to contort her victim's face into a permanent expression of "Ohhh, how sweet....", but still, I didn't want to antagonize this new mother. I know what mothers are capable of when they believe their babies to be in danger.


I turned and pulled the dogs after me. They never got scent of the deer. She watched us, till we were a good distance down the road, and then she finally pivoted and urged her fawns to follow her deep into the forest. Her defiance in the face of danger was impressive. She stood no chance against two dogs. She must've known that, yet she stared them down. I don't know if she was a particularly brave deer, or if that is what deer do. She seemed to sense they had not yet seen her, but she had to know I did. I was looking right at her, and even talking to her.  Was it foolishness, bravery, or instinct?


Often, that is what our actions boil down to as well. Are we brave, foolish or acting on some inner directive, some unknown guide that tugs us in ways we feel we have no choice but to follow? In a deer, we call it instinct, but from my perspective, it is the hard wiring God placed in every creature to help them survive. In humans, I think it is the call of God as well, but in a different way. I think it is the tugging on our conscience that is not forceful enough to determine action like in animals, but if we listen to it, forceful enough to move mountains. If we ignore it, and unlike animal instinct, we can  ignore it, I think it gradually fades from our soul and all we are left with is foolishness or bravery. We are on our own, and anyone conversant with history knows every great civilization has ultimately toppled. So much for self-reliance.


The deer disappeared into the forest, and the shadows of the trees completely concealed the speckled fawns. I marveled at the small moments of exquisite joy that remind me God is always watching, always protecting, and always sending me evidence of His presence. He doesn't demand my attention, but I am always rewarded when I grant it.


2 Peter 2:12
¹² But these people blaspheme in matters they do not understand. They are like unreasoning animals, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like animals they too will perish.

^{Jude 1: 18-2018} They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” ¹⁹ These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.
 ²⁰ But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit,

A World of Grief

In proofing the copy of my book, I was struck again by the world I had found myself plunged into- animal rescue. I had known nothing about the depths of suffering that animals endure for human pleasure and comfort. But my year of rehabilitating the dog we rescued, Honeybun, and of working with Hollow Creek Farm Equine and Canine Rescue  (HCF) taught me that human beings are not very kind to the creatures they are supposed to be caring for during our mutual stay on our melting planet.

I have been reflective of late, as I reread the book and ponder the lessons of Honeybun. Would I be able to do it all over again? If I found another dying dog with all those horrendous issues, could I manage to do what I did with Honeybun? HCF deals with this every day, and has for years. Honestly, I don't know how they do it. I don't know how I did it with just one dog.  After talking with some very dear people who asked me to tell them about Honeybun's story, they joked as they drove away, "I sure hope we don't see a dog dying on the side of the road as we head home...."

And that's the thing....a strong conscience will not let you keep your eyes closed forever. And suffering dogs are just one small part of the suffering organisms here on earth....what about the house spiders getting trampled on in every kitchen millions of times a day, not to mention starving children in Africa? It is overwhelming the amount of grief that lurks at every turn. No wonder as a people we drown ourselves in drugs, and alcohol, and stupid television shows.

When I was a little girl, I remember going down the street thinking about things like this even at the tender age of 5,  and crying. I remember one of my parents' friends stopping me and asking why I was crying. I immediately stopped crying, shrugged my shoulders and trudged on. When he was out of sight, I started crying again.

So I went kayaking with Asherel to have an hour of communing with nature, with man and creature in balance along the lovely Catawba river. I know the better choice to walking down the road crying is to seek the good, do the good you can, and trust the results to God. I peacefully dipped in and out of protected coves along the shore, watching the Great Blue herons hunting, and then settling into their nests overhead. Peaceful quiet enveloped the river and turtles popped their heads out into the sunlight.

Suddenly there was the high pitched roar of a jet ski. The water beneathe me became an ocean of waves as it roared past me, obviously ignoring the sign, "SLOW-- no wake."  Perched on the front handlebar, held firmly there by its owner was a daschund, with its long ears whipped straight back. It had a look of terror on its pointy little face.

So much for harmony of man and creature, I thought.

Ezekiel 34:2-4

² “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to you shepherds of Israel who only take care of yourselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? ³ You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. ⁴ You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally.