A Broken Heart

You just never know about a person until you spend time talking with them. There was someone I didn't know well, but I had heard she was not attentive to her aging parents, spoiled, and cold. I didn't know her well enough to form an opinion, but I supposed she seemed like I had heard her described. I found myself disliking her for little reason other than the rumors. But then yesterday, our paths unexpectedly crossed, and we started chatting. I had just finished visiting my mother-in-law at the nursing home, and ran into the woman shortly afterwards. She shared personal parts of her life, her upbringing, which I had never known, and would never have suspected. Not only did I find myself completely understanding the way she had acted in response to a difficult and, in some ways, tragic childhood, but I found myself amazed that she had managed to survive intact, and become a good parent, and a forgiving daughter. By the time I walked away, my dislike and misunderstanding had completely transformed to admiration. I realized that once again, God had maneuvered a divine appointment into my mundane life to teach me a much needed lesson.

She was struggling with aging parents who were in pain, and dying. She said she never wanted to do that to her own children.
"I may rot in hell, but I may decide to just end it all with a handful of pills rather than put my children through this," she said.
"Yes, I understand why you feel that way," I said, "But you know, caring for my failing mother-in-law is the only thing I do that is completely unselfish. I get no benefit, and yet, when I leave, it is when I feel best about myself."
My new friend nodded, "I never really thought of it that way...but that is true. Through all of this awful stuff, I have seen my father come to God. And watching him in all this struggle has made me able to forgive him. In fact, it has increased my faith. I have changed through this experience. You are right."

We parted ways, and I hoped that she felt as blessed by our "chance" encounter as I did. You never know what road a fellow traveler has walked. It is so much better to offer a steadying hand, than to push her into the gutter, or even worse, pass her by as though she were of no consequence.

Psalm 51:10-12,16-17 (NIV)
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. [11] Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. [12] Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. [16] You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. [17] My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

-save a dog- hollowcreekfarm.org

Just What Our Village Needed

Every year Asherel and I go hunting for a clear ornament for our elegant Christmas tree. We try to find unusual ones, that most people don't have. It is not easy, but it is always fun going to various Christmas stores, searching for just the right ornament. Our other tradition is that Asherel, with her incredible artistic skills, arranges my little "Christmas village". We have collected little village pieces over the years, but now the narrow shelf our village goes on is full, so we only pick up little figurines if we find something irresistible. I just have a cheap knock-off village, not those collector villages where each piece can be hundreds of dollars. Usually we use cotton for snow in our village, but this year I bought real fake snow to sprinkle on our little villagers.

Yesterday was our day out to find our Christmas ornament. There are plenty of adorable colorful ornaments, but very few clear ones. Last year, we rejoiced to find a squirrel ornament. We both knew as soon as we saw it that it was the one. This year, we went to both Black Lion, and KMart, and no luck. At Peppermint Forest we found a bird that didn't knock our socks off, but we both liked it well enough, so decided it would be this year's choice. And then we wandered to the little village set-ups.
"Oh I love this!" I said, picking up a village horse.
"We could use a horse," said Asherel.
Then I flipped it over and gasped. The little fake horse cost more than our entire Christmas tree. I could build a REAL village for the cost of that little horse.
"You can get them on e-bay," whispered a fellow shopper conspiratorially.
Then Asherel sighted a package of 4 small pink flamingos.
"OH, let's get these!" she cried, "Wouldn't they look great in our village?"
A man glanced over and shook his head, "Pink flamingos in your Christmas village? No, that just isn't right."
I laughed, and checked the price. I guess the pink flamingos weren't designer flamingos because they were priced reasonably.
"Pleeeease," begged Asherel.
Since she is my village builder, I felt she ought to have a say in what went in our village. So we left the store with our chrystal bird and 4 pink flamingos.

Asherel and I built our village together when we got home. I placed everything on our little display shelf, and left the artistic arranging to her. She carefully placed the 4 flamingos. One was near the ice pond with the little skaters, one was crossing a bridge over a river, one was by a village home, and the last one, my favorite, was in a circle of Christmas carolers. He stood there as though he belonged, as every Christmas village should have a population of flamingos, as though bright pink in all the reds, and greens, and snowy whites were just the proper accent. They stood happily in the village, and I smiled at their long spindly legs, and realized they were exactly what our village had needed.

Earlier that day, we had dropped a painting off that I am donating to a fundraiser for a young man with no legs. Joey was a Romanian orphan, till his future Mom found him, and knew he was the son she was meant to have. She brought him home, got him the operations he needed and two prosthetic legs. Asherel and I met Joey three years ago in a homeschool class. He was then, as he is now, a delightful, engaging, and optimistic happy young man. But now, as an older teen, he has outgrown his prosthetic legs. He is too tall for them, and is falling frequently. He needs new legs, but insurance won't pay for what he needs. The legs cost $125,000. I reconnected with Joey when I saw posts on Facebook about him sitting outside local Walmarts selling donuts to raise money for his legs. By the time I saw him yesterday, he had raised $25,000 selling donuts. So, a friend of the family is organizing a fund-raising auction. I saw that on Facebook, as well. The gallery where my artwork had been just closed, and I had many paintings in my attic. I knew there was a special place for them, but I didn't know where that would be, at first. When I read Joey's story, I knew.

We pulled up to the church where we met Joey and his Mom to hand off the painting. Joey was, as I had remembered him, smiling and laughing and greeting friends exuberantly as he walked towards us. He always wears shorts, and his legs are not the fake flesh looking kind. They are clearly metal, mechanical legs, long and spindly, and even I could see, too short for his tall physique. I wondered why he wore shorts. Did pants interfere with the legs mechanisms? Or was he perhaps just proud of them, of how far he had come from an abandoned orphan in Romania with legs that didn't work, to the people that realized Joey was exactly what our village needed?

Joey is not discouraged that he has so much money yet to raise. He realized that by selling donuts, he met hundreds of people, was able to share his faith and trust in God and His goodness with an audience he might otherwise never have reached.

If you would like to contribute to, or attend the fundraiser in Charlotte, please contact me and I will put you in touch with Joey's mom.

Isaiah 52:7 (NIV)
How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!”





-save a dog- hollowcreekfarm.org

Prepared

This year, all year long, whenever I saw something I thought someone on my Christmas list would like, I bought it. So now, with a month to go till Christmas, every gift is purchased. There will not be any major end of year slam on our VISA, which is an incredible blessing. Today, I spent the morning wrapping the gifts, with varying pretty paper, but all tied with a silver sparkly ribbon to bring a cohesive look to the whole ensemble. Since I have no little children whom I need to surprise with a treeful of gifts miraculously appearing Christmas morning, I put all the wrapped gifts under the tree right away. I decorated the tree yesterday, so now it was complete. Then I sat down with a cup of tea, turned on the Christmas lights, and sighed happily. Let the festivities begin.

Of course, I do still have to make my Christmas cards, and bake cookies, but the most stressful part of the holiday is now done. I have a whole month to just relax and enjoy it, and remember the wonderful reason for the season. I know some people might consider me neurotic, and I am...However, we ARE told again and again in the Bible to be ready, to be prepared, to not let the Master find us sleeping when we should be working. Those verses are right in my wheelhouse. Since so much of the Bible convicts me of how miserably I fall short, I am going to take a breather from self-flagellation and sit in front of my tree, and praise God for the blessing of being ready.

Of course, the readiness of the Bible is one of being ready for the coming of The Lord. He will come again, and woe to those of us caught unawares, living a life and an attitude we know we should discard. At the moment He appears, we will either be found in eager anticipation or dread of His arrival. Here is a pop quiz to help you know which camp you are in:
1. If you eagerly await His arrival, you are probably ready
2. If you still need a few more days, you are probably not.

I sit in front of my beautiful Christmas tree, in anticipation of the celebration of His first coming. May I be equally prepared when He comes to claim the Kingdom He asked us to transform in His absence, especially the one part of it I have control over...me.

Ephesians 6:15 (NIV)
and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

1 Thessalonians 2:12 (NIV)
encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.

-save a dog- hollowcreekfarm.org

Many Ways to Trim a Tree

After three hours, my house was transformed. Welcome Christmas! I set up two trees. The front room tree is the elegant one, inspired by my mom. In fact, since she only puts out a little fiberglass tree nowadays, she gave me all her tree trimmings a few years ago. I added them to my growing collection. The front room tree is decked out entirely in clear or white ornaments, with glass icicles and white lace draped over the branches. Each year, Asherel and I go out and buy one new crystal ornament for the elegant tree. Sometimes it takes all day to find the one we both agree upon. It is a tradition I cherish. The tree is very lovely, as it was in my parents' home. One might even think, upon entering my house and seeing the elegant tree, that I possess good taste.

Next, we travel to the back room, where I have another tree. It has a completely different flavor. That one is covered with homemade decorations from my children's early years, as well as decorations my father gave me my first Christmas out on my own. Some of those are chipped in places. After all, they are now over thirty years old. That tree is bright and happy, with a touch of nostalgia. No one would mistake me for possessing good taste, but they would know I cherish my children and my own parents. Decorations from friends and other family members also adorn that tree. It is a hodgepodge of loving contributions that reminds me of family.

I wish I could put a tree in every room, one for every mood and every facet of my family's personalities. It would remind me that we are made up of many parts, all different, all valid, all contributing in some way to the entity family. Sometimes I forget that. It is as though I think there is only one way to trim a tree.

1 Corinthians 12:13-20 (NIV)
For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body---whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free---and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. [14] Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. [15] Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. [16] And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. [17] If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? [18] But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. [19] If they were all one part, where would the body be? [20] As it is, there are many parts, but one body.


-save a dog- hollowcreekfarm.org

Thankful for a Huge Thanksgiving Crowd

I don't know about you, but I have a lot to be thankful for. So much so, that I had Asherel take a picture of me in a thankful pose so that I could use it as a reference for my drawing today. And when I looked at the picture, I grimaced and asked her, "Do I REALLY look like that?" She nodded sympathetically. (Well, ok, "sympathetically" might not be as accurate a term to describe her expression as "mocking" .) Nonetheless, among other things, I am thanking God for art, that allows me to paint the world as I want it to be, not necessarily as it is.

We had just Mom K, Arvo, Asherel and me as Thanksgiving Dinner guests. I invited a friend I knew would be alone, but she had already accepted an invitation elsewhere. I wanted to invite everyone from the Nursing Home that had no place to go, but we thought if we do that, we probably ought to plan ahead next time, get a staff member to come along too... Still, it was a very nice, albeit small celebration. I made the usual feast, of which maybe 1% was eaten. The rest will feed us for the next 5 months. I am happy about that because today officially starts the Xmas season, and I won't have time to cook. I always set the tree up the day after Thanksgiving, start wrapping gifts I have collected over the year, make xmas cards and daydream about both boys being home breathing the very air I breathe. Who has time to cook in the midst of all that?

But back to Thanksgiving. We made a fire, despite a very warm and pleasant day outside, and then Arvo retrieved Mom K from the Nursing Home. We settled her in a recliner in front of the fire, and brought her hot cider. While I cooked, the dogs, Arvo, and Mom K snoozed in front of the fire. Then we feasted, after reading Psalm 100. And then we played Rummicube, and Mom K almost won. I won't tell you who did win since I am practicing humility.

As Mom K was exhausted by that time, she asked if we would return her home now.
"Thank you for inviting us," she said. I smiled, and told her I hoped "they" would come again. Of course, by "us", I wasn't sure if she meant her long dead husband, or some other ghost of a person that was in her heart. After she left, I thought about that. It is good to remember that wherever we go, we really are not alone. We really are always "us". There are angels surrounding us, and Jesus Himself is within every believer. I suppose it *seemed* like it was just a small gathering, but in reality, the legions of Heaven itself were crowded around us, and always are. That is something to truly be thankful for.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, [2] fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. [3] Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.




















-save a dog- hollowcreekfarm.org

Seeing Glory

I get a daily text from the Moravians which is always short and simple, and always leaves me convicted of some message from God. Today's verse was from Exodus 33, when Moses asks God, "Show me your glory." I thought about that verse and its circumstances. Moses has been asked by God to lead the Israelites through the desert, on their journey to the Promised Land. Moses is willing, but still has a concern. How can he lead these people on the word of a God he does not fully know? He understands something that I think I fail daily to grasp. It is not on *my* glory that anyone will follow any of my excellent guidance or advice, nor is it on *my* glory that satisfaction ever rests. That rests on God's glory alone. Yet how often am I eager for adulation and validation that I am doing a *good job*? How often do I worry that my life is not happy enough, not going the right way, too fraught with problems, and sadness, and disappointment? How often have I not done what God asked me to do, and stepped forth in His glory, rather than my own? And how incredibly ungrateful I have been for the manifold blessings I have, seeing every sunrise, looking upon a world He has molded, surrounded by the very people He longs for me to touch...and I draw back. I think true gratitude, true Thanksgiving, cannot ever evolve from selfish pursuits. I think it always involves seeing the glory of God for what it is, the light that properly and perfectly illuminates everything we have been given.

Yesterday, I spent the day visiting nursing homes. First I went to Comer, who is not doing well. His hip is inexplicably covered with bruises and he is in great pain. He also has increasingly stopped-up ears, so even with my shouting at the top of my lungs, he struggled to hear me. His normally cheerful outlook is being sorely tested. He crumpled at one point and cried out, "Lord, I don't like this!" I wanted to comfort him, but he couldn't hear anything I said. I had dropped by to tell him I had finished typing in his 130 (!) new poems, and had designed his book cover, and submitted it all to the publisher. Lord willing, the proof will arrive next week. I hope seeing his second book of poetry in print will cheer him up.
"I wrote some more," he told me, and pulled the new poems out for me to see. One was a poem of thankfulness for compassionate caregivers.
I asked if he would have a special Thanksgiving meal tomorrow.
He shrugged, "I can't go anywhere. It hurts too much to move. I hope they will bring it to me..."

Next, leaving Comer, I headed off to see my mother-in-law. She was sitting in her wheelchair facing her window, looking out.
"Hello," I said, sitting next to her, "Too bad there isn't a bird feeder out your window so you could see birds."
"I like looking out," she said, "It reminds me there is a world out there."
I told her I would be back tomorrow to pick her up for the day, and she would have Thanksgiving dinner with us. After we visited a while, I wheeled her to the dining room where her table of friends were gathered. I quizzed them on their favorite Thanksgiving side dish, hoping to come up with something to serve at our own small gathering. The winner was cranberry apple sauce mixed with whipped cream. MMMM! I asked if they were all going home with their families for Thanksgiving. They all shrugged.

I would like to make a plea to everyone this Thanksgiving. Go hug an old person or a lonely person today. (Yes, Asherel...even your mom....) So many of them are left only with memories, and a spark of hope that maybe this time, some family member will remember to call. Go forth not in pursuit of your own joy, but in pursuit of God's Glory.

Exodus 33:14-18 (NIV)
The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” [15] Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. [16] How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?” [17] And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.” [18] Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”

Leviticus 19:32 (NIV)
“ ‘Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord.

Colossians 3:15-17 (NIV)
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. [16] Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. [17] And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.




-save a dog- hollowcreekfarm.org

Reflecting Kindness

We took Matt and Karissa to lunch and then popped in to visit Mom K in the Nursing Home. She was lying down, and almost asleep, but when she saw us, her whole face exploded into joy and she struggled to sit up. She asked for her brush so she could make her hair beautiful for her beloved grandson. Then she smiled at him, clasping her hands together, and gazing rapturously at him.
"It is incredible," she kept saying, "Look at him...and married too!"
We could not stay long. Matt and Karissa have final exams in Law School after Thanksgiving and had to get back to studying. I took a picture of her with Asherel, Matt, and Karissa and promised I would bring her a print so she could remember the visit. Then, everyone said goodbye, and after many hugs and kisses, left. I stayed behind for a moment to help Mom K lie back down.

She was unable to stop grinning, as I helped her lean back on her pillows.
"Are you glad we came?" I asked.
"Oh, yes! You made my day!" she exclaimed,"Next time I will rearrange in here, and make dinner."
I smiled and told her that would be lovely, as I helped her put her feet up and covered her with a blanket.

It takes so little to fill a heart with joy. So little and we are so often not willing to give even that. But as water reflects the trees that surround it, so our actions reflect our spirit. I pray we are a people that reflect compassion and kindness, and gratitude for those who love us.

Proverbs 27:19 (NIV)
As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.





-save a dog- hollowcreekfarm.org