The Search for Meaning

We got bumped by a funeral. Our last helicopter testing before the Science Olympiad next weekend was to be at the church with the ceilings that stretch 5 stories high towards heaven. However, the pastor hoped I would understand that the unexpected funeral took precedence over our helicopter flying. They would need the church to conduct the services.

As Ben, the other helicopter team member, had been sick for our penultimate test flight, his helicopter was as yet untested. (For those of you with a dictionary handy, I would encourage you to look up 'penultimate' if you don't know what it means. It is a very useful word. It is my second favorite word. My favorite is serendipity. Words just don't get any more fun to say than that one. Well, onomatopoeia is pretty delightful as well.)

But- back to the problem at hand. We could not wait til any later than Sunday to test, in case we destroyed our copters, which we do with alarming regularity. We would need time to rebuild them. We had to test this weekend, Easter or not.

I called the local mall. I didn't get through to highest management, though was put through to her voice mail.
"Hello," I said to the machine after it beeped its greeting, "I have a unique form of Easter entertainment for your mall shoppers. I need tall ceilings to test our rubber powered Science Olympiad helicopters and your facility has been selected from among thousands to be our test site. Please call _________ to schedule your exciting and free Helicopter to Heaven program today!"

Surprisingly, they did not call back.

I wrote back to the church with the 5 story tall ceilings.
"We are desperate. We totally understand the necessity of conducting the funeral in lieu of us having a shot at winning the State contest that we have worked a year now towards. What do the hopes and dreams of a child matter, after all, in contrast to the last wishes of a dead body? Nothing. But, would you consider canceling Easter services and we could fly Sunday?"

Ok, I am kidding. I had some of you though, right? I actually asked if after services on Sunday afternoon we could fly in their perfect ceilings. I  find the symbolism rather intriguing- the feeble attempts of mankind lifting towards God with whatever power can be mustered. Our designs would be destined to fall back to earth, no matter how strong the rubber band motor was. We could rise quite a bit on our own power, but to stay risen, one had to be Jesus or lifted in His hand.

"Yes," wrote back the facility manager, "After Easter services, the church will be empty. You can fly your copters then if you like."

I can't wait to hear Asherel's response when she awakens and reads my post today:
"That's a beautiful picture you drew today, Mom, but what does it have to do with your blog?"
"Nothing. Or everything. It depends on what message you got out of it."
"Well, what are my choices? It doesn't seem to be a God packed moral today. In fact, it seems a little selfish and perhaps even sacrilegious. I mean, should we be flying our helicopters on Easter?"
"He is risen," I said, "That is what we celebrate. We should all be looking up, because that is where risen things reside, like Messiahs.... and helicopters. The miracle of Easter is when He rose again, He continued to reach back down, to survey the whole earth, to reach His spirit into every valley and every field, touching the hearts of His sheep."
"You are stretching here, Mom. Besides, there are no sheep in this picture you drew."
"They're lost. That's the point. He took our sin upon Himself and bore our punishment that the lost might be found."
"Well don't you think you should have drawn at least one found sheep?"
"It's only Saturday. I think we need to spend some time wondering where we go to find the lost sheep."
"And I suppose sometimes that involves flying in helicopters?"
"Maybe.... it means going down or through or even up every path opened before you."
"You think there will be lost sheep in the rafters of the church?"
"No, probably not..... but I think there might be someone who wanders in, whose soul is heavy and burdened, and who doesn't feel the gravity of life will ever release him. You never know when you might lighten someone's heart with the Message of Hope, of our Risen Lord."
"Were you really thinking all this when you drew this picture, Mom? Or when you scheduled our helicopter practice for Easter?"
"It doesn't matter," I answered, "I'm thinking it now, aren't you?"

Isaiah 53:5-7

⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
   he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
   and by his wounds we are healed.
⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
   each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
   the iniquity of us all.
 ⁷ He was oppressed and afflicted,
   yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
   and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
   so he did not open his mouth.

Tuberculosis Cured!

As Josh set the trebuchet arm, he coughed briefly.
"Sorry," he said, "I'm just getting over tuberculosis."
His other event in Science Olympiad is Disease Detectives, where he is cramming his head full of information about various diseases.

"Are you sure you just don't have bronchitis?" I asked.
Last week he told Asherel that her symptoms were likely anthrax poisoning, which, he warned, was fatal with no cure. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

With my little knowledge about Alzheimer's, or the whole system that helps folks with this illness, I called a nearby small Assisted Living Center.

"Can I help you?"

"I don't know. I hope so. I have a couple of old friends," I told her,"And the wife has Alzheimers. The husband needs assisted living care. Right now they are in a facility where they are in separate buildings, far apart, and it is breaking both their hearts. Is there any facility where they could be together? Might your facility consider such an arrangement?"

I thought she might just laugh at me, the way I laughed when Josh told us he was just getting over tuberculosis. However, she said, "Possibly. It depends. We have done that in the past." She asked me to tell her a little about the couple, and then set up a time when I could bring them to meet her, look at the place, and they would all have a better guess about the possibilities.
"We could do it on a trial basis. But if the same room won't work out due to their health needs, the Alzheimer unit is attached to the assisted living. They would just be separated by a kitchen."
I called Comer immediately. He wanted to check it out without his wife first, concerned that Evelyn might be too upset by the whole unfamiliarity. He was interested, but this weary 93 year old man did not relish the idea of moving again.

As I recounted the story to Asherel, I told her the daughter, having moved her parents 4 times in the past few months had told them she was not moving them any more.
"Why would she have to move them?" asked my sweet girl.
I smiled at her, "You're right. If he wants to move we will get friends, and trucks, and vans, and we will move them ourselves."

While I waited for Asherel to get out of Gavel Club,  which is held in our church, I sketched a lovely blooming tree. It had been planted purposely on the church grounds, and its blossoms were fitting and beautiful against the stained glass window. But I noticed that the same lovely tree dotted the fields nearby. It grew wild and brought dots of beauty all across the surrounding forested area. I thought of the lady at the Assisted Living Home I had spoken with.
"Do you think Evelyn's symptoms are worse because she misses her husband?" asked the nurse.
"I am not a doctor," I said, "But it sure seems that way to me." It had been my thought from the beginning but I found it too obvious, too silly to voice. And a nurse had spoken the same thought, like the trees in the field bursting with blossoms.....
And pollen.....

I sneezed, as Asherel got back in the car.
It's ok. I'm just getting over tuberculosis. But I'm hopeful I will make a full recovery.

Psalm 147:10-12

 ¹⁰ His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
   nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;
¹¹ the LORD delights in those who fear him,
   who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Job 11:17-19

¹⁷ Life will be brighter than noonday,
   and darkness will become like morning.
¹⁸ You will be secure, because there is hope;
   you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
¹⁹ You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid,
   and many will court your favor.

Then he was no more

To scare the nasty cold germs lurking in my chest, I bought the ingredients for Carolyn's Kick-A-Bug Juice. I lined them up on the kitchen half wall and stepped back.
"Tomorrow," I warned the viruses populating my chest and nose, "If you don't skedaddle, I mix all those vile things together and pour them down my throat. Consider yourself forewarned."
I made a doctor appointment also for tomorrow, in case the combination of viral threats and Kick-A-Bug juice didn't deliver the hoped for cure. Then I settled down and did what I haven't done enough of since getting sick. I rested.

Asherel was busily working on her Science Olympiad Trebuchet and Helicopter while I sketched the empty stool in the sunroom, the sun dancing across it's empty seat. I love empty chairs. There is so much expectation, anticipation, potential wonder that might settle on that stool. Will a future Scientist or famous artist sit there, or perhaps a future Supreme Court Justice that will finally convince our country to not ban hydrogenated oils in french fries that may clog our arteries but to ban procedures that murder developing babies?  Or maybe, just maybe, someday a writer who has published a book will sit on that stool, and remember the years of honing her craft and knocking on doors slammed in her face. She will watch the sun flicker across hands weathered by years and years of living, and drawing empty stools.

My coughing and sneezing was slowing notably the more I glanced at the Kick-A-Bug ingredients lined up on the shelf. They too were waiting. The whole world was holding its breath. The empty chair was still faintly warm from the sun beams though the sky was dark, and I was ready for bed. And then I read my email.
The agent who has my proposal for my book had finally replied. Six months of waiting was over. I didn't want to read her note. I have had so much discouragement, so much disappointment. Sometimes it is better to just look on the empty chair and imagine what might be rather than look at the failure of a dream that eventually settles there.

But I read the email. Ultimately, I would have to. She liked it. She liked my proposal and loved what I had done. She noted, as all the agents who have looked at my work have noted, that I don't have a "platform". That means I don't have hundreds of thousands of readers begging me to publish my book. She asked if my 20,000 hits on my blog were daily, weekly or monthly? Ohoh.  How about yearly? Why didn't she mention yearly?

Dear readers, I need a platform. If all of you just forward this post to ten thousand friends, I think I am almost there. I don't know what she will ultimately decide. I have gotten many notes from agents that agonize over my work saying they think it has potential, but ultimately, it is hard to promote a nobody.

I am not the only nobody that ever lived. I can take heart that some nobodies are even listed in the Bible.
Perhaps my favorite is Enoch. Enoch is the son of Cain, and in the list of all those early people who live a few hundred years, and then die.... Enoch alone is described a living and then "he was no more."  Before I tell you the rest of that wonderful verse about a nobody.... what exactly did Enoch do that got him this special treatment? A word search of every time Enoch is mentioned shows that Enoch had kids, like many nobodies.  His father named a city after him, but that had nothing to do with Enoch or his achievements. It was just the equivalent of handing out cigars back then. As far as we can tell, Enoch didn't work any miracles, save any people, lead any focus groups, or build or write or paint or invent.  There is only one sentence that tells us what Enoch did- 
"After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters." (Genesis 5:22)

That's all he did.... he walked faithfully with God 300 years. Lest we think too highly of Enoch, he lived 365 years, and one has to wonder what wild oats he was sowing for those first 65, since he only walked faithfully a mere 300. But the point is he didn't do anything that the world would find of particular note. He was a nobody, but he was a faithful nobody and he loved God. And in the end, he was rewarded by "being no more."

If the sentence ended there, we might all just as well throw in the towel.  In the end, we all are "no more", whether we are a nobody or a somebody.  Maybe it is better just to gaze at empty chairs and not bother to fill them..... but wait!! There is more to the sentence.....
²⁴ Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.(Gen.5)

God took him! He was no more here because God took him there....to be with God. His faithfulness was rewarded by the only reward he ever wanted, the reward his whole life of faith had prepared him for. He was in the eternal presence of the God he had waited faithfully for three hundred years to see.

I guess really the chair is never empty. We think it is, but it always holds the promise of significance, the symbol of faith. For faith is the presence of things unseen. And even nobodies can see God sitting there, pumping His fist in the air, and swirling the air with hope and promise.

Hebrews 11: 1-6

 ¹ Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ² This is what the ancients were commended for.  ³ By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
 ⁴ By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead.
 ⁵ By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death: “He could not be found, because God had taken him away.” For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. ⁶ And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

PS- Many folks read this post and wrote to tell me how sorry they were. The agent has not rejected me (at least not yet)- she is seeking more information and is interested. I just need to work on my "platform" and updating my proposal.

Rejoicing

It was a delicate operation- one false move and the trapped victim would fall into the jaws of the giant fan to certain, excruciating death. The jaws of life gently wrapped themselves around the injured body and slowly, slowly lifted it from its precarious perch. The crowd watched tensely, afraid to breathe. Inch by inch, the unconscious victim was lifted and maneuvered from the grate 30 feet in the air. There was a sudden shudder, and we all gasped. The victim was shaking itself- would it lose the tenuous hold with the jaw of life and plummet forever out of reach? No! Praise God- the model helicopter's rotors began to spin when freed of the grate, and flew unharmed into its savior's arms. A tail fin was broken off, but the copter was otherwise unscathed from its night spent atop the giant fan where it had inextricably lodged during its maiden flight. We all cheered.

We came home victorious, helicopter safely in hand. What had looked like certain loss, impossible retrieval, and destruction had instead become a back slapping and wondrous moment of rejoicing. It had not been hopeless, though it had certainly appeared that way.

The disciples of Jesus, the original Apostles would know what I was talking about. For three days, they hid in an upper room, their world turned upside down. Jesus had seemed to be the real thing, the long awaited Messiah who would rescue Israel from her enemies and people from themselves. But where was He now? Buried in a cave, meeting the same ignominious fate of all mankind. And you know what they were all gathered in the room saying: (note- the Bible doesn't record this, but I am a highly trained amateur writer and I am sure it could have gone down like this)
Thomas: I told you so. I had my doubts all along but would anyone listen- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Peter: Oh shut your trap! So we hoped for something that didn't quite pan out. So sue me. I would gladly die for those few moments of hope!
(rooster crows in the background)
Peter- Well, not die necessarily, but I would certainly express appreciation with cheering and dancing.
(rooster crows second time)
Peter: Well not necessarily cheering and dancing, but I would send a postcard thanking Him for His timely message.
(rooster crows a third time)
Peter: Jesus who? How could we have been so deceived!!!!
John: At least we have His words. The Word is Life.
Mark: John can you for one moment lay off the poetic speech? Your last name is not Lennon.

And so on and so forth. Squabbling, crying, blaming, and despairing. All their hopes and dreams crushed with resounding finality. Dead and buried. Hope was impossible now.

And then a knock on the door changed everything. They opened the door and after slamming it in His face, finally realized that the darkness was not quite as complete as they had envisioned. There He stood before them, stretching out His nail scarred hands for them to touch. All was not lost. Death had not won! Destruction did not have the final word. Hope was alive!

It may feel impossible. It may look like the worst that could happen has happened. And life really does throw some nasty iceballs right at our face sometimes. But the giant Jaws of Life are always near, always reaching to save us, always ready to lift us out of the morass of despair to something we cannot begin to know exists til we are flying there.

"Next time," said Asherel holding the copter, "We'll put a pin on the top so it doesn't get stuck on the ceiling."
"Yes, good idea," I agreed, "But it is ok now, because we know how to rescue it."

1 Thessalonians 4:12-14

¹³ Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. ¹⁴ For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.