As a Dog Returns to Its Vomit.....

For months, we had worked with our then starving rescue dog, Honeybun, so that she would not want to disembowel our patient first dog, Lucky when any food was in sight. In those first few awful months, Honeybun would suddenly become a whirling dervish, and lunge at Lucky's throat or belly if there was a nugget of food within reach. Since she had probably been in the wild a very long time scrapping for every morsel of sustenance she could snag, it was understandable, but it did not lead to the peaceful and harmonious home that I envisioned. You may well ask why we kept Honeybun, but that is the subject of my book, soon (I hope) to be published and so I won't spoil the story here.

In those early days, we had to crate or tie the dogs whenever we fed them, and no food could ever be carelessly dropped to the ground. It was Hollow Creek Rescue Farm (HCF) that helped us develop strategies and training that ultimately led to our incredible success story such that the dogs can now eat side by side without blood letting or even a snarl. I have become increasingly cavalier about food and my defenses are almost totally gone.

Last night, I put down particularly delectable gravy bowls for each of them to lick. Honeybun finished first, as she always does. She still gulps her food quickly, and I suspect the memory of those starvation days will never leave her. Lucky was still languishing over his gravy, peacefully scraping every molecule from the bowl. Honeybun looked at him but moved away to let him finish, which is good dog etiquette and I was very proud of her. Finally Lucky decided he was done and as soon as he moved away, Honeybun rushed over to see if he had left any atoms for her. She began the repeat cycle of the wash phase when Lucky began to walk past her to go to his water bowl. She suddenly lunged at him snapping and growling. It was not a full attack, but it was a bitter reminder of those horrid early days with her. I instantly "rolled" her, a technique taught to me by HCF which doesn't hurt the dog, but is the technique a pack alpha dog would use to tell another dog, "If you do this ever again, I will snap your canines off."

I have to admit it was discouraging, after nearly 2 years of this rescue dog being with us, with full bowls of food, many yummy snacks, and a closet full of silky dog outfits that Asherel has made for her, that she would still feel the need to attack over a molecule of gravy.

However, I am honestly not a whole lot different. The same stupid issues that bedraggled my character when I was twenty are the same stupid issues that haunt me now that I am over 21, but less than 60. (much MUCH less than 60). The only real difference is that I am more aware of them, and I fight them and bemoan them more vociferously, but they keep popping back up like those little moles in the whack-a-mole game. (A violent game that none of you should ever indulge in that involves smacking furry cartoon creatures on the head as they pop randomly out of little holes)

So Honeybun and I will curl in front of the scripture today, that reminds and convicts us:
Genesis 4:7
If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."