According to His Good Purpose

"What is that wire thing called on the parlor copter you sell? A thrust bearing I think. I need one of those."  Having now two (almost working) designs as well as a kit that we know works, we were now ready to get materials to build our own official  Science Olympiad helicopter.
"OK, what size?"
"Oh, there are different sizes?"
"Yes, and it has to match the size of your prop shaft."
"Oh and I need some of those too."
"What size?"
"The size of the thrust bearing."
Sigh.

"OH," I added, "I also need those really tiny little things that hold the prop shaft on."
"Do you have an item number....or name?"
"No, but they are those little little things on the Parlor copter you sell."
"I will look it up.What size?"
"Well big enough to hold the prop shaft on."
"Ma'am, are you new to this?"
"YES! How can you tell?"

Flash forward to my discussion with my "flight expert consultant", my brother.
I asked him a highly technical and difficult question, that even I didn't understand. Somehow, he seemed to sift through the ignorance and answered, and gave me a very simple formula that addressed the situation. I must be highly secretive here in case we have stumbled on a helicopter that will surprise everyone and actually fly.
"Perfect !" I wrote to him, "That is what we need! Simple formulas! Are there any other simple formulas you can send me?"
He immediately sent me a website filled with formulas. I glanced briefly at it and wrote back.
"I said SIMPLE formulas."
"How much simpler than force times distance do you need???" he asked.

Are you sensing a pattern? Because I am. I am beginning to get the impression that I am not fooling anyone into thinking I have figured out the principles of flight, aeronautic engineering, or perhaps even how to properly brush my teeth. I am an imposter, a fraud, a hopeless dimwit trying to do something I have no training, no education, no experience, no inclination, and apparently no real talent for.  My only saving grace is that I have the wisdom to have a team with two kids much smarter than me.

I love Rodin's sculpture of The Thinker. You all know it, right? It is of the figure sitting with his chin in his hand, obviously deep in thought and complex reflection of the workings and mysteries of the universe. I have always admired that pose, the sentiment expressed by that statue. I have always wanted to be a Thinker.  But I am coming to the sad conclusion that perhaps I just am not. I have produced children who are Thinkers.... and my husband is a Thinker. Even my dog has been described as a Thinker. I am surrounded by thoughtful-ness. It swirls around me while I stand in the eye of the hurricane of ideas, untouched by the winds.

I am often plagued by this damaging desire to be everyone but who I am. It is the basis of my quest for the perfect haircut. When I see adorable short hair walk by, I want short hair. When I see beautiful long hair walk by, I want long hair. When I see great singers, I wish I could sing. When I see great actors, I wish I could act. I am always on the sideline watching excellence and wondering why there wasn't enough to go around.... why am I just me?

These periods usually don't last long, or at least get buried by the march of life as myself, since no one else seems clamoring for my place in the roll-call of humanity. I don't think I am alone, either, in at least occasionally wishing I were someone I am not. God doesn't bother to tell us things we don't need to hear, like "Be more selfish and greedy." Most of us can do that just fine. He takes the time to remind us of the things we keep forgetting, and many times He mentions that we are loved, created by Him to be exactly what we are, and formed in the womb with all those attributes known to Him even before anyone else knows of our existence. If I truly love and trust God, then I have to believe that He knew what He was doing when He made me. He knew I would someday coach a Science Olympiad Helicopter team, and He knew I would not understand most of what I was trying to teach my students. Still, His purpose will be accomplished.

Christmas is a great season to reflect on this issue. I cannot imagine being Mary, the mother of Jesus, no matter how many stained glass windows would be created bearing my image.  If I were the one the angel appeared to on that historic evening, telling me I was pregnant around age 15 with a baby who was going to save the entire world from their sins.... I am pretty sure the conversation would have gone more like this:
Angel:
“Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. ³¹ You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. ³² He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, ³³ and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”(Luke 1)
Me:
"Say WHAT? Are you nuts? I haven't lived my own life yet. How on earth do you expect me to be responsible for someone else's life.... particularly someone who is going to be in the business of reforming people like Mao Tse Tung... or Hitler."
Angel:
 ³⁵ ... “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. ³⁶ Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. ³⁷ For no word from God will ever fail.”(Luke 1)
Me:
"Well if you insist, but I am telling you there is a first time for everything. If ever a situation was being set up for failure it is this one. You sure God wants to take a chance on me for such an important role? Maybe I should start with something smaller.... like a puppy."

And so on. You get the gist.

But PRAISE GOD, that is not how Mary responded, and as a result, the Messiah entered the world, that "whosoever would believeth in Him would have eternal life."  So, I will go study the web site John sent me, and try to absorb those "simple" formulas, just in case God's purpose is to make a student's helicopter fly.

Philippians 2:13

¹³ for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Ephesians 1: 11-12
 ¹¹ In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, ¹² in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.