Blotting Out Transgressions

"How short do you want it?"
It seemed like an easy question.
Asherel sat in the hairdresser's chair in a nice salon for her first non-bargain basement haircut. She has gloriously thick, long, curly hair. It is also hot, and heavy, and takes forever to dry and manage. She was ready to have it cut off. Since the bargain basement was full for another hour, we went next door to the salon that offers coffee and pound cake. Since Asherel gets her hair cut about once every 6 months or so, I thought we could spring for a good haircut.

We had two criteria for the hairdresser. It had to be long enough to pull back into a ponytail, and it had to be a wash and go style.
"You may need to straighten it every day," said the stylist.
This should have been my first clue that we might not be in the hands of just the right stylist since of the two criteria, she did not seem to want to follow criteria 2.
"That isn't going to happen," I said, "It really needs to be a wash and go style. No hair drying, no straightening." (Besides, when you have gorgeous curly hair, why flatten it?)

That was when she needed some clarification on criteria #1.
"How short?"
"It has to be long enough to put in a pony tail," I reminded her, "She runs dog agility trials and has to be able to pull it back."
At that, I felt confident leaving Asherel in the hands of the professional and diving into the pile of junky magazines. Since I would never stoop to buy junky magazines, I can't wait to go to the hair salons and doctor's offices that have a full array of them. I became quickly immersed in which starlet was crusading for which noble cause while dressed in which designer jeans and stilettos. A peaceful snip snip snip in the background. A cup of green tea and honey in my hands.

When I looked up to see the hairdresser blow drying Asherel's hair, I felt a glimmer of dismay. She looked like a poodle....and not a poodle with ponytail length locks either. Clearly criteria #1 had been ignored. I am no expert, but it looked like while I was lost in the trials and tribulations of Brittany Spears, the hairdresser had closed her eyes and gone wild with the scissors on Asherel's head.

I saw her confer with Asherel and then pull out a hair iron. She began what turned into an hour of hair straightening. She was a very very nice young lady, but from a consumer point of view, she needed a little work. Of the two criteria we had given, she had now ignored both.

It is very hard for me to be brutally honest with hairdressers, and actually, after the hour and a half of styling, Asherel's hair did look nice. The stylist assured us it would also look fine curly. However, when Asherel washed it the next day and emerged with hair sticking out unevenly in all directions, I shuddered. I raced for hair goop and smoothed some over the recalcitrant curls, but it wasn't the curls that were the problem....it was how ineptly they had been cut.  I knew I had to call and request emergency repairs.

This was a well run salon, and the manager instantly set Asherel up with their top designer to repair the cut. We could never afford the top designer normally, so it almost made me glad that the original stylist had been so inept. The designer warned Asherel that while she could certainly repair the cut so that it would be a lovely wash and go style, she could not add back pony-tail length hair. And she would need to take off a little more length to repair the choppy mess left by the other.

In the end, Asherel emerged with a stupendous wash and go hair style, and her lovely face is framed by soft and luxurious, well-cut curls. It is much shorter than she wanted, but really looks stunning. I wish we could afford the designer. The designer told us to return in 6 weeks and she would do another complimentary shaping. And the manager told me in all her years in customer relations, she had never had someone with such a disastrous haircut request a do-over so nicely.  One of my eternal struggles and character flaws is to be kind to inept service providers. This was at least a little validation that my struggles are not always in vain.


But sadly graciousness and gentleness require constant surveillance in my life. I can never stop reminding myself that others almost never live up to my expectations and I need to learn to accept, encourage, and be kind especially then. As soon as I let my guard down, there I go again, irritable, angry, and regretting. I am slowly learning that in the face of this constant struggle, the least I need to do is perfect my apology. The manager of the hair salon did all the right things. She didn't challenge my perspective. She didn't try to convince me the haircut was really not as bad as I claimed it was. She didn't try to defend the stylist. And she asked what she could do to make it right and restore my confidence in her salon. And then this... this is perhaps the most amazing, she thanked me for pointing out where the salon had failed.
"If you don't let us know what we have done wrong, we have no opportunity to fix it," she said.

King David had the power to cut off Nathan's head when he came to David and told him that his adultery with Bathsheba and murder of her husband was major commandment-breaking. David could have offered all kinds of rationalization for his sin, or just dispose of Nathan no questions asked. But instead, here is what he said:  “I have sinned against the LORD.”(2 Samuel 12:13) 

That's it. He offered no justification, no explanation, no attempt to wriggle out of accountability. A complete admission, and a complete understanding of ultimately who he had sinned against.

I pray today that I would learn to keep my character wholly in line with God's desires for me, but when I fail, which I know is probably likely, I pray that I could learn to apologize like David....and the manager of the hair salon.

Psalm 51: 1-17
¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
   according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
   blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
   and cleanse me from my sin.  ³ For I know my transgressions,
   and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
   and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
   and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
   sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
   you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
 ⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
   wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
   let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
   and blot out all my iniquity.
 ¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
 ¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
   so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
   you who are God my Savior,
   and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
   and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
   you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart
   you, God, will not despise.