Friday, June 24, 2011

Dead Ends

I stared at the facebook post and for a moment, felt like I had been punched. The agent who had been so encouraging, seemed so interested in my book, and so close to being the start of my literary career was closing her agency. For a variety of reasons, she had had it with the publishing industry. I hoped this wasn't a way of getting out of having to tell me she didn't want my book, but I think her frustration had nothing to do with me. I stared at the announcement. My book had been with this agent for a year. My proposal was much improved through her suggestions and the book more streamlined through my continued editing but a whole year of my hopes for publishing had rested on that agent, the one who now was closing shop.

Oh well. I will figure out what to do next after my son's wedding in a week. Fortunately, my plate is too full right now to spend too much time whining or despairing.

"You must have a reason,Lord," I said out loud.
"Yeh, your book stinks," said God, "You singlehandedly drove her out of the book publishing business."
"How could one author do that?" I asked.
"It isn't easy," He answered, "Maybe you should take up a new obsession. How about kite flying?"
"I thought the voice of God was supposed to be one of encouragement."
"This is encouragement,"He said,"Stick with what you are good at."
"Well then you need to come up with something other than kite flying."
God was silent after that.

When James, John, and Peter were washing their fishing nets after a discouraging session of not catching a single fish all night, Jesus walked by. "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch," He told them.
They argued that they had worked all night and not caught a single fish. However, rather than fight the Lord of Heaven and Earth, they did what He said. They caught so many fish that the nets threatened to snap and the boats to sink from the prodigious haul.

The lesson is not lost on me. When God wants us to succeed, He will grant us success. And success in His eyes may look different from success in our own.

"You don't really want me to take up kite flying instead of writing, do you?" I asked.
"No," He said, "But I would rest from this worry for the next week. Don't miss the joy I have set before you over the joy you thought you wanted but can't have right now."

Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
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