Easy Step by Step Directions

There are two kinds of days; those when hair is allowed to grow undisturbed and those when you rip it out. Yesterday was a hair ripping day. Not anxious to spend $1000 so someone else could prep my book for publishing as a paperback, I decided to do it myself.  A few hours later, I realized that $1,000 was dirt cheap for someone else to prep my book.

I am not talking about editing. I have spent two years revising and editing. I dare anyone to find an editorial, proof-reading error.

"You need a comma here," said Asherel as she casually glanced at my book while downloading the proper font for the cover page.

Asherel is my paid employee. I have not offered her $1000, but I do intend to get her a mega bag of gummy worms when this book is ready for press. The problem stems from not having a publishing program on my computer but the type of electronic file that must be sent to the publisher is a PDF file. All I can do are TIF, JPEG or even PNG files, and my book is on a word doc. I can throw around all these acronyms with ease now, but still have no idea what even one of those letters represents.

"Google it," said Asherel.
I was close to tears. "What on earth would I google?"
"How about converting word doc to PDF?"
It is astonishing but no matter how you phrase any question, no matter how obscure or absurd the question, someone else has already asked it. Don't believe me? Try googling "Do aardvarks need deoderant?" There are pages of responses to that query. (By the way, one response began- The answer may surprise you....)

And I assure you that the answers to that question are much easier to understand than how to convert a word doc to a PDF file.  The conversion itself was relatively simple, only taking us about 4 hours and 10 tries. However, I had to convert my book to a PDF file at exactly the correct trim size for the book I wanted. The book size I wanted was 6x9, and the closest I got was to create a 6x9 rectangle of print on an 8.5x11 image. The publisher needed the 6x9 paper size....I think.

There are of course, "easy" step by step directions that promise you will have a book ready to go in a few minutes. I will give you a graphic example of what reading the simple step by step directions was like for me. Go get any directions on how to set your watch. Now flip it over to the side that has the directions in Japanese. Now cross your eyes, and stand on your head. That gives you a sense of what went through my brain as I followed the easy step by step directions.

At 9 pm, about 9 hours or so later, the book was finally done....at least the interior. Today we tackle the book cover which includes the spine and back jacket as well. This part of the process "should not be undertaken unless you are a professional graphic artist."

Hmmmm.

At this point, I think we could consider ourselves pros. I envision it being another hair ripping sort of day.
It came as no big surprise to me that I don't handle frustration well. So God, in His wisdom, is constantly throwing frustrating situations my way. This is a kindness, I have been assured, so that I will learn to conquer this nemesis.

The universe itself is subjected to frustration, according to the book of Romans in Bible, and the subjecting was caused by none other than God Himself. What does that verse mean?  How can the universe, all creation, be frustrated? I imagine the discussion between God and the Black Hole.
"Heavenly Father, I understand that all things have a purpose but I have tried and tried and tried to quit sucking light and emit light instead. It only leads to frustration."
"For now you are in bondage," God answers in my musings, "But a day will come when you will be a New Creation."
"What will that creation look like for me?" asks the Black Hole.
God doesn't answer because the future is not ours to see, but I know what it will look like in part. All my loved ones, all my friends, all the earth will reflect the holiness, the goodness, the glory of God. And as an added bonus, PDF files will be instantly converted from word docs.

Romans 8:19-21

¹⁹ For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.