Thursday, October 27, 2011

Arguing with my Finer Self

I was lost in the story of The American by Henry James when the dogs began barking like maniacs. No one else was home, and it was dark. I had put on my PJs (yes...it was only 8:00 but my days are long and my throat has been sore) and was huddled under an afghan reading.
"Quiet!" I yelled to the dogs.
Then there was a knock.
What to do?
I was in ratty PJs, and from my seat where I sat, no one at the door could see me. But I couldn't answer the door like this! And if I tried to run to a back room and change clothes, they would see me dart across the floor like a scuttling rat. What to do! What to do!
The dogs continued barking, and looking at me. The people at the door could surely see the dogs glancing back and forth from the door to someone in the room. They must have heard me screech at the dogs to be quiet.
I sat there motionless, frozen in my indecision.
"It is rude not to answer a door," my finer self said.
"No, it is my door and they should have called first," my less finer self countered.
"Remember that low score on Hospitality you received on the Spiritual Gifts Inventory? This is why."
"I am wearing pajamas!! And I don't know who it is! I am not opening the door to strangers while clad in pajamas."
"Well what are you doing putting on pajamas before 8:00 in the evening anyway?"
"They are comfy."
I paused arguing with my self when there was a rustling at the door.
"Oh dear Lord, please don't let them be breaking in...."
The dogs watched expectantly and then there was the sound of car doors slamming, and the dogs returned to the rug to lie down. I scurried to the blinds and lifted one to peer out. It was a car I didn't recognize.
"You are pathetic," said my finer self.

That day in our home school,  we had finally moved beyond Kreb's cycle into Photosynthesis in Biology. It was an appropriate section to cover at this time of the year because we learned what happens in the autumn when the leaves change color. During the shorter days of autumn, a chemical called auxin tells a band of cells leading to the leaf stem to close off. This reduces the water supply and the chloroplasts, which produce the chlorophyll, the photosynthetic green pigment of the leaves, rapidly disintegrate. The really interesting fact about leaves is that other pigments, carotene, and anthocyanin are always present in leaves along with chlorophyll, but the much more vigorous chlorophyll blocks those oranges and reds during the summer. When the chlorophyll dies, the reds and oranges and variations we see in fall can reveal themselves. For those few glorious weeks, the hidden aspects of the leaf are revealed and then the leaves die and the bare limbs of winter descend upon the trees.

Even in nature, the inner soul will ultimately be revealed! Nothing is hidden forever. All will be exposed.
"There are some people who would open the door with a smile on their face even while wearing ratty pajamas," said my finer self.
"That is true, I am sure," I said, "But surely there is something within me that is worthy upon closer scrutiny."
My finer self paused and looked me over, head to toe.

Then Asherel and Arvo returned. Asherel carried a bag of cookies in her hand and some literature from the church we are currently attending. We didn't really leave our old church- but Asherel loves this new youth group and never quite connected with our old church youth group. So for now, we are at a new church, so we can worship together as a family and Asherel can be in a place where she seems to be thriving. Apparently, the knock on the door was a visiting committee, and they left cookies. I was very glad they had done so, as I was feeling a little sorry for myself and the cookies were a delicious diversion.
"How do you feel about not answering the door now?" smirked my finer self.

Luke 10:
 21 At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.
   22 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.”

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