Monday, January 16, 2012

One Easy Cure

     I noticed a vague dizziness washing over me while I was running errands.
     This could be hunger, I thought, though having polished off the Chinese take out leftoves, that is not likely.
     It could be the flu, but while Asherel is sick today, she doesn't have a fever and it looks like just a bad cold.
     It could be disgust with the human condition, the depravity and lack of respect of life that leads people to do despicable things leaving us sensitive souls mourning and crying out to God for justice and relief.
     But no, while I did feel this way after listening to some particularly heinous crimes on the radio, I often have that reaction to my fellow beings, and I am not always dizzy.
     Ohoh. I realized I might very well be having an episode of that unpronounceable disease that basically means, when translated from latin: Dizzy.
     When I got home, it was clear that the unpronounceable disease was the culprit. I ate dinner at 2:00 to rule out hunger. All that did was make me feel guilty, and stuffed, but still dizzy, with the added downer of no dinner to look forward to. I remembered that there was a simple procedure I had once found online which claimed to instantly cure 95 % of the dizzy people out there. But I could not remember the name of my malady to do an internet search. I sat swaying at the computer and typed in the search bar the two letters I remembered: BP.
    Praise God for my intelligent computer! It instantly read my mind and finished my thought. BPPV appeared on the screen- Benign Parosysmal Positional Vertigo. I clicked on the section titled: Treatment.

    There were four different treatment procedures. It was recommended that two of the four only be done in the safety of a doctor's office so the patient would have a professional to catch him when he keeled over. I chose the "home treatment" procedure. It looked simple enough. It said it was demanding but effective in 95% of the cases. The patient sits on the edge of a bed, lies down quickly to one side with the head upturned at approx. a 45 degree angle. The patient lies there while waves of intense dizziness wash over him for 30 seconds. Then he sits up for 30 seconds, unless of course, the intense dizziness has made him crash to the hard wood floor, since he didn't listen to the advice to do this in the safety of a doctor's office the first time, and at that point, treatment is discontinued til he returns from the hospital where a plastic surgeon has repaired the damage done to his face. If by some chance, the patient remains upright, he goes on to step 3. He quickly lies down to the other side, head at that same upturned position, again waits out 30 seconds of wanting to puke while the world spins, and then sits back up. This is repeated for 5 sets, or 10 minutes.
     I'm game! I printed the instructions and went to my bedroom where the floor is carpeted. I was only feeling a little dizzy, but when I did step two, I was feeling a lot dizzy, By step 4, I was ready to go be with Jesus in Heaven. However, I swallowed my nausea and did 5 sets...or maybe only 3 sets. I lost count because my eyes were rolling in my head and I was pretty sure I would not be filling out my application for Dancing with the Stars that evening.
     Now I was to sit upright for 2 days with my head no lower than 45 degrees to horizontal. Forget that, I thought, but I will try to remain upright for the next couple of hours. Within a few minutes, the dizziness was gone....completely gone. I am supposed to repeat this treatment twice a day every day until all symptoms are gone. Since one treatment did it, I may just call it quits while I am ahead.
     If only all life's problems were solved so quickly, so neatly! Poor Asherel was still sniffling with watery eyes and the glazed look of a suffering sickie. My wrists are still in braces after two solid weeks, and still not painfree as I am attempting home treatment to avoid carpal tunnel surgery. And very sadly, the poor body found behind the dumpster yesterday at Chickfila of a young, pregnant woman is not going to find a cure here on earth. Struggles and troubles are everpresent. Sometimes we are transported instantly from our afflictions, as in the BPPV treatment, but most of the time we share the sentiment of Jephthah, who cried out ,
“I and my people were engaged in a great struggle ..., and although I called, you didn’t save me out of their hands" (Judges 12:2). But Jephthah had called out to the wrong source. He had called out to supposed friends, who in the end, were of no use in saving him. He recognized his mistake and finished by calling out to God who alone could secure victory. The hardest part for we mortal humans is to understand that when we call out, the victory is sometimes not instant, and sometimes not apparent this side of Heaven. And we better be sure that the one we are calling out to is the One who can help us.
   "Well, Miss Smartypants, what kind of a victory is one you can't see or enjoy, or that is delayed til you are dead and gone? You have a funny definition of victory." The little creature that speaks to me when I get too full of myself was tapping on my head, then snapped her hands on her waist, waiting for my response.
     "I don't know. I just know that hope deferred doesn't mean hope denied. Maybe we don't know what we are really fighting for. Maybe we are victorious just by staying in the battle."
     "That is easy for you to say,  with one home treatment and you are good as new."
     "Yes," I admitted, "You are right about that."   

Psalm 20:
1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
   may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
   and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
   and accept your burnt offerings.
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
   and make all your plans succeed.
5 May we shout for joy over your victory
   and lift up our banners in the name of our God.
   May the LORD grant all your requests.
 6 Now this I know:
   The LORD gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
   with the victorious power of his right hand.
7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
   but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

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