A Better Place to Be

Before we left Las Vegas, Holly and I had walked through one of the ultra high end indoor shopping venues of a fancy casino/hotel. It was filled with stores whose lowest priced item exceeded my mortgage.
"We should go in one," I said, "I just want to pretend I can afford those shoes."
We walked in, casually holding up shoes that caught our eye, and flipping them over as though to examine the fine Italian sole so we could gawk at the price tag.
"Do you think they know we can't afford these?" I whispered.
Holly glanced at my belly pack snapped around my waist, "Oh I am sure one look at you and they are fooled...."
We meandered by a teenager trying on a $2,000 pair of sandals. Her mother sat next to her, bored, texting on her phone.
"What do you think of these?" the teen said.
"Those are fine," said the mother, glancing over.
Holly and I looked at each other, our eyes wide.
"Do you think she would adopt me?" whispered Holly.

Later Amy and I took one last walk on the strip in the early morning before my flight left. I had crept out even earlier to see fog still shrouding some of the streets. It cast an angelic glow on a decidedly unangelic city. The little cards advertising the girls willing to accompany anyone for a night lay scattered on the pavement. Street cleaners were scrubbing disinfectant where people had spewed overindulgence from their orgies of gambling, drinking, and eating. While, Amy was telling me stories of her increasingly sore knees, how at times they would buckle.
"I am spending a lot of time falling and on my knees," she said.
"That's not a bad thing," I reminded her, "All of us should be spending more time on our knees."

I am so glad to be home. It is quiet and affordable. But even as I nestled in the comfort of my dear city, I was thinking of other cities. It is my dear first born son's birthday. I wish I could tele-transport to Boston to hug him. I already miss the siblings that I got to see in Las Vegas. If only I could simultaneously be in Endwell, Owego, Seattle, Chicago, Forth Worth, where they are scattered, or Boston or Lexington with my sons. Discontent seems to always be lurking next to satisfaction in me....In fact, I was feeling such strong conflicting emotions last night that I couldn't sleep.
I opened my Bible and read these words: "and he will delight in the fear of the Lord." It is not in any particular city where contentment lies, but it *is* in a place. Like Amy, I see I really need to be spending more time on my knees.

Isaiah 11:1-9 (NIV)
A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit. [2] The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him---the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord--- [3] and he will delight in the fear of the Lord. He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; [4] but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth. He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth; with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked. [5] Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash around his waist. [6] The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them. [7] The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox. [8] The infant will play near the cobra’s den, the young child will put its hand into the viper’s nest. [9] They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.

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