Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Making a Way in the Wilderness




Yesterday, I had a brainstorm, a lightbulb in the sky, an epiphany, a creative surge. I suddenly realized what my third book needs to be about, the one that has been percolating unknown to even me for seven years. Suddenly it is all clear. The plot neatly lined up and lay down on my outline. I danced around the living room until Asherel could stand it no more. She lay on the couch, reading her American History book.
"Don't do that."
"Don't do what?" I asked.
"That!" she said, waving her hand in the air at me.
"But I am SO excited! This is going to be SO good!"
"What?"
"I know exactly what I need to write. I see now where God has led me for seven years."
Even this teenager felt a spark of interest in what her crazy mom could be plotting now.
It is the melding of what I thought would be several books. It will be my crowning achievement, at least till my next brainstorm, epiphany, and creative light bulb in the sky.

It might have been caused by excessive radio waves bombarding my brain. I had been using my bluetooth headset with my phone since it hurts to bend my elbows to hold my phone. The ulnar nerve problem is slowly receding, but very slowly. By the end of the day, it still hurts to move my arms at all. So the headset is a lifesaver when I am on the phone for extended periods. But something went berserk. The headset became blazing hot, singeing my ear hairs, and then the fully charged battery belted out the news to my red eardrum, "Battery life low. beep beep beep."

I took the 3 month old headset to the Verizon store. It was still under warranty, though it was my second replacement. Only 5 days of the free replacement warranty remained. They immediately replaced it, and even synched it to my phone for me. I wonder if it is a coincidence that right after that blistering explosion in my ear, my next book flashed before my eyes in all its entirety. We really don't know what all the microwaves, and wireless radio signals, and cell phone radiation is doing to our bodies. I suspect it is not all good...but it seems to have stimulated the creativity gene in my brain. And I suddenly realized, the wretched condition in my arms may have led to exactly what I needed.

My "cubital tunnel syndrome", which is like Carpal Tunnel Syndrome but involves compression of a different nerve to the hand/arm (ulnar nerve) has been flaring slowly for a year, but debilitating for the past 4 months. I have worn splints on my wrists and or elbows for 4 months now. I can type for brief periods, but not nearly long enough to work on another book. So I have taken some notes on what I thought I wanted to write, but have been unable to do much actual writing. Instead, because I had no choice, I have been thinking about what my next book should be. And I have had several ideas, and all of them seemed good, but none made me leap off my seat shouting, "Eureka!" Until now. It has been a long period of waiting, of being still...something I am not at all good at. What seemed to be a disaster to a writer, hands that cannot write, may in the end have been the best thing to happen to me.

I think God works that way sometimes. What looks like a setback, a horror, a despairing impossible obstacle thrust in our path turns out to have been what we needed to travel a different way. It is often a way we would not have traveled willingly on our own, but in the end, are glad we were diverted. Quite often we don't see the bounty at the end of this new and bumpy road while we are on it- too many turns and obscuring shadows, and yawning potholes.
But then, all of a sudden, with clarity exploding in our faces like the death rattle of my headset, we see why we were sent this way. Not always, but sometimes we see, even in this lifetime.

The salesman handed me the new headset.
"This ought to last you," he said, "But the warranty expires because it is based on the original purchase date, so you won't be able to replace this one."
"That's ok," I said smiling, "I think this one will be perfect."

Isaiah 43:18-19
"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.

-save a dog- hollowcreekfarm.org

2 comments:

  1. I don't know the name of it, but I know I've seen voice recognition software advertised on tv. People writing books while they iron and such. Might be just the help your ulnar nerve needs. Good luck with that, from a knitter witch CTS and a pinched nerve in her shoulder. :) Judy

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  2. thanks Judy, I do have Dragon
    Dictation, and I am learning how to use it...but it is much harder for me to speak and compose. I write much more fluidly that I speak. However, I may be forced to use it.

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