Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Prepare to Meet your God

"Oh drat," I said feeling the tag on the back of my shirt.
Asherel glanced over. We were on our way to her last day of Driver Ed driving week.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Why didn't you tell me I had my shirt on inside out?" I asked.
Instead of answering, she just laughed. Her compassion was overwhelming.

How could I have missed that, I wondered, glancing down. The seams were clearly exposed, with their ravelly edges, the decorative details all hidden against my skin.
"I am getting senile," I said sadly. Asherel nodded while chuckling.

I had errands to run after dropping her with the driving instructor. I thought about how I could take off my shirt and flip it right side out quickly and unobtrusively. Praise God for tinted windows.

I used to dream about going to school and halfway through the day, would realize I had forgotten to change out of my pajamas. I also used to dream that it was Finals week of college, and I had not even opened the book all year. In fact, I had forgotten I was in the class at all, and now was forced to take the Final with zero knowledge of the material.

I guess all in all, I just don't feel up to the task of life. I should probably look in the mirror more. That might help prepare me on the outside at least. The inside needs more than a mirror....

I managed to shimmy out of my shirt while sitting on the floor of the back seat of the van. I quickly turned it to the right side and slid it back on. Then I looked down. The black shirt was now on correctly, but covered with white deodorant smears. I went on my errands anyway. At my age, all shreds of dignity are unravelling as completely as my inside out shirt seams.

I thought about being prepared, feeling up to the tasks set before me. I can honestly say I have almost never felt adequate. I am perhaps too aware of my shortcomings, though usually too proud to admit how woefully inadequate I know I am. I am reading the book of Amos in the Bible right now, and God is railing against the willful inadequacies of His people, who sin and deny Him continually. He continues to chastise them and snatch them from disaster, only to have them turn their backs on Him again and again. And then comes the ominous warning, "Prepare to meet your maker."
That is something I better take more seriously than putting on my shirt correctly.

Amos 4:11-13 (NIV)
“I overthrew some of you as I overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah. You were like a burning stick snatched from the fire, yet you have not returned to me,” declares the Lord. [12] “Therefore this is what I will do to you, Israel, and because I will do this to you, Israel, prepare to meet your God.” [13] He who forms the mountains, who creates the wind, and who reveals his thoughts to mankind, who turns dawn to darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth---the Lord God Almighty is his name.

-save a dog-

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