Friday, July 27, 2012

Sow Kindness

I carried the 6 shelf bookcase in all by myself. One nice man sitting on the porch who I pass many times in my visits to the Senior Home clapped for me as I huffed and puffed by him. (And I wonder why I keep straining my wrist tendons, I thought as I hauled the door open and balanced the bookshelf on one shoulder with the other hand ) Then I yanked it onto the elevator and with several breaks, managed to get it down the long hallway, and then wrestle it into the tight corner of the room by flopping it first on the bed and then shimmying it in place. Whew.

I spent the morning with my mom in law, at the new Senior Home. She was at breakfast when I found her, after manhandling the book shelf into her room, and placing her framed photos tastefully on the shelves. She was sitting with two lovely ladies who were bright and chipper, and seemed eager to befriend her. Fresh flowers were on the table, adorned with cut crystal glasses and a white tablecloth. Sun streamed in the wall of windows that looked out over a gazebo. It is a really lovely place here, and just a mile away from us. Poor Grandma is still very tired from all the change and the long trip from Florida. However, I was encouraged by the friendliness and kindness of the residents here.
"Gert joined us on the porch last night," said Jo, one of the lovely ladies.
"You did!?" I exclaimed, "I am so glad! Was it nice?"
"Yes," said Mom K, "It was."
The porch is covered with white rockers. I had often seen folks sitting out there on my frequent bike rides down that quiet road. That is one of the joys of old age, sitting in a white rocker looking at the birds and no one is wondering why you aren't being more productive.

However, despite our huge white signs that urged Mom K to use the call button every time she got up, the nurse told me she had not used it at all last night. She said they went in every hour or two and would check on her, help her as needed, and there were no falls or problems...but she was not using the call button.
"Mom," I said, as I took her on a wheelchair stroll through the surrounding neighborhood ,"The nurses say you didn't use the call button. Remember that big beautiful sign Asherel made for you that says 'use the call button to get up'?"
"Yes," she said, "I looked at it often through the night. It is very nice."
"Yes it is, but the sign says 'Use the Call button to get up.' Remember?"
"And they never used the call button...not once!" she said.
"No Mom," I explained, "YOU need to use the call button...not them."
"Oh. OK. I see now."
We will see. It is still very hard for her to call others to help her.
"Are you enjoying the walk?" I asked, "Not too hot or too tired?"
I had rigged up one of my attachable umbrellas on her wheelchair. I had bought it hoping it would attach to my kayak, and be a little less weird than my umbrella hat. Alas, it had not worked for the kayak, but it was perfect for the wheelchair.
"I am enjoying it," she told me, "But I am worried about you. Aren't you tired and hot? The umbrella is very nice for me...but what about you?"
"I'm fine," I said, "There's nothing I like better than going for walks."
...And repaying in a small way the sweet and generous woman who had loved her son, my husband and his family so mightily. What goes around, comes around, I thought. While Mom K, like all parents, drove us all nutty at times, no one ever questioned her motive of love. She was generous to a fault and sacrificed a great deal so that she could give to us and her other two sons. Had she been a witch, perhaps I would not so eagerly want to show kindness to her when she needed it so badly. Be careful how you treat your day, they may be needed to lift you into bed.

Psalm 126:5-6 (NIV)
Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. [6] Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.

-save a dog-

1 comment:

  1. This is a touching story that makes you wonder about what might happen in the future. Nothing is certain and anything is possible. It's great that we start planting seeds of goodness in everyone's heart.