Comer's daughter Angie texted me Sunday after church. Comer was too weak to leave hospice, about 45 minutes from my home, and would not be at the service for his wife's funeral on Monday. So after church, and praying for God's comfort on my friend, I headed to the Hospice House. Angie warned me he was non-responsive, rarely wakening, but when he did, he saw his deceased wife Evelyn, reaching for him. Angie felt he would not know I had even visited. Nonetheless, I felt it was important that I go.
I have never been in a Hospice Center before. I was very impressed. It smelled clean, and had a sense of peace about it. The room doors were all open, and I glanced in as I walked to the nurse's station. All the patients seemed to be asleep, and as old as the earth. The nurse told me Comer's room number, and added that he had declined rapidly upon hearing of his wife's death. She told me that he would probably not wake up or acknowledge I was there, but not to be afraid to hold his hand or to speak to him.
I went in his room and was somewhat shocked by how small he seemed, and how frail. He was asleep when I walked in.
"Comer," I said softly.
HIs eyes opened and he looked at me, and groaned.
I took his hand and he squeezed my hand, hard. So hard, that in a few minutes my fingers were numb, but I held on.
"I am so sorry Comer," I told him. He squeezed harder and I saw a tear form in the corner of one eye, "You will see her again one day, in a place with no more tears, or sadness, or disease."
He squeezed my hand.
"Would you like me to tell you my favorite psalm?"
He blinked.
I recited Psalm 23, and he gripped my hand as though it were a lifeline. I read him several Psalms, and then I read him the last chapter of Revelation. I reminded him that God promised that one day, believers would be reunited with their loved ones. I thought of his twin brother, who had died some years back.
Then I read him 1 John, while he hung on to my numb fingers. I finished with the verse: 1 John 5:20
"We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life."
Comer struggled mightily to speak, and finally he said, "Amen."
"Do you want me to read any more?" I asked.
"No," he said.
I could tell he wanted to say more, but he couldn't.
"It's ok," I told him, "You don't need to talk. You have been a beloved friend, and I have been so blessed to know you. If I could take away your grief, I would."
He raised his other hand as though to cover mine, but then settled it wearily on his chest, and heaved a great sigh. Many years ago, I had sat at the bedside of a friend's child who was dying. I had been terrified that he might die in my presence. That child did die that evening, but ten minutes after I left. I always felt guilty that I had been so frightened, unable to stay just ten more minutes.
But now, sitting beside this man struggling with such overwhelming grief and betrayal of body, I found myself hoping that God would take him home immediately, reunite him in the blink of an eye with the wife he mourned so deeply now. I sat there a long time, silently holding his hand feeling the helplessness of mortal beings who wish, for just a moment, to have the healing power of God.
Revelation 22:17,20-21 (NIV)
The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life. [20] He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus. [21] The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen.
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