When You Can't Face the World

I came across Honeybun with her head buried under the couch cushions. She didn't move for the several moments it took me to find my camera, and take a photo. I can only surmise she found some delicious morsels buried there, though I could hear no crunching or nibbling noises. She remained completely still in that position for some time.

"I know how you feel," I told her, "Sometimes, you just have to bury your head."

My oldest comes home tomorrow, the one we get to see only a few times a year. I have a long list of all the things to do: cleaning, shopping, cooking....Oh, and I have to bathe the dogs. Maybe that's why Honeybun is hiding her head. Of course, the last time I bathed the dogs, I broke my tailbone. I am the one who should be hiding my head, or perhaps my tail.

In the midst of all the sadness for the Newtown victims of that horrendous shooting, it does seem like Honeybun has the right idea. Hide under a cushion and try to soften the pain of living, dampen the noises of a cruel hard world, cover one's eyes from looking on so much evil, hide from the inevitable bath....

But ultimately, she came out. She figured out she had to go on living, and since the couch had neither food, water, nor tasty biscuits, she realized hiding under the cushion would not suffice. There are beautiful things out in the world, the bath notwithstanding. And when she emerged, I scratched her behind her ears. She leaned into the touch of one who loves her dearly.

I was thinking of the Bible verse that promises strength to the broken-hearted, and peace that surpasses understanding in the midst of struggle and pain. Mom K had a panic attack a couple of days ago. My husband had to rush out to the Home, and finally, he was able to calm her down. No one knew what triggered the sudden emotional outburst, or what calmed it. And this morning, we got a call that she fell (again) and hit her head. Arvo is on the way now to take her to the ER. He feels at the end of his strength, like so many weary and broken-hearted souls this week.

When shaken to the core, feeling that every ounce of strength and courage has been stripped away, God is still there. I believe He is always there, but I think sometimes we don't realize how desperately we need Him until we reach the end of our own resources. I suppose that is the point at which many of us make a choice- hide under the cushion or embrace God and let Him cover us instead. But it is so hard sometimes, keeping the perspective of eternity.

Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:3 (NIV)
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.



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