Not Again.....

I make home ground grain into bread every other week, two loaves, which I then freeze. Every morning I have a slice for breakfast. I began this when my fingers swelled up with sudden onset of acute arthritis, such that I had to cut off my wedding ring. A friend told me about the benefit of home ground grain, baked into bread within 24 hours of grinding. She told me it cured her of arthritis and her husband of high blood pressure. I had nothing to lose, and so I tried it. It cured my arthritis in my hands, and I have now been doing this for about 3 or 4 years, with no recurrence of arthritis.

I have the recipe memorized since I do it so regularly. About a month ago, there was one very rare time when my bread didn't turn out. I realized I had forgotten to put the yeast and salt in! I had to throw away the whole gummy mess.

Yesterday, again, the bread didn't turn out, and I realized, again, I had forgotten to put the yeast and salt in. What is happening to me? I never used to forget details. Twice in a month, the same mistake! I was very distraught. Not only did I waste all that time and effort of baking the bread and now must do it all over again, but I feared my brain was becoming silly putty. How could I have forgotten....again???

There is a very interesting Psalm about forgetting. In Psalm 44, it is clear that the writer is at the end of his rope. He is ready to give up, and feels crushed, betrayed, and forgotten by God! He insists he had never forgotten God! How could God forget him!?

He is basically having a hissy fit. And he is blaming God, which is what many of us do when we are in desperate circumstances. (Me included.) We forget all that God has provided, His grace and mercy and ultimate sacrifice on our behalf, and because life isn't going the way we had hoped, we assume God is distracted, sleeping, or worse yet- has forgotten all about us. But God doesn't forget. We have forgotten His promises. They may not apply to our mortal being, but we are promised we will be with Him in eternity and our soul is safe. This is very important, even more important than remembering yeast and salt.

I sliced the gummy bread, spread it on a baking pan, and baked it for an hour. Then I buttered and tasted one fresh from the oven slice. Not bad. Different...not my usual soft bread, but not bad. Even for those of us who forget, restoration is possible.

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My disgrace is before me all day long, and shame has covered my face, because of the voice of the scorner and reviler, because of the enemy and avenger. All this has happened to us, but we have not forgotten You or betrayed Your covenant. But You have crushed us in a haunt of jackals and have covered us with deepest darkness. If we had forgotten the name of our God and spread out our hands to a foreign god, wouldn’t God have found this out, since He knows the secrets of the heart? Wake up, Lord ! Why are You sleeping? Get up! Don’t reject us forever! Why do You hide Yourself and forget our affliction and oppression? (Psalms 44:15-17, 19-21, 23, 24 HCSB)

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isaiah 49:15 NIV)

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