But of course He had. He is always speaking.
Initially, I had puttered about, reading email, reading Facebook, checking weather reports. I am not normally much of a procrastinator, but I really hate editing and that was the task before me. Besides, I didn't feel great, and it was almost Thanksgiving. Maybe my time would be better spent napping and thinking about turkey. With a sigh, I decided just to do a read through without major changes yet.
I had thought my first chapter of my book was really good, and was surprised to find, as I began the read through, that it stinks. It needed total reworking. At first, the changes seemed so monumental that I didn't want to work on it at all. Despite not generally being a procrastinator, I strongly considered just paying for someone else to edit it. (Future edits will have that privilege, but the first few drafts must be done by me or it is not my story.) Instead of following the strong urge to set it aside, I spent the whole day working on it, and by the end of the day, was wondering if it was possible the whole book was as terrible as that first chapter. It is possible. I still have a long way to go before I will even be happy with Chapter One. How will I muster the will to change every chapter if needed to the extent needed in Chapter One?
I realized that my vision for the message had changed in the course of writing the book. By the time I had finished it, the first chapter no longer fit. The ending transformed what the beginning needed to be. Again, as often happens in the creative process for me, I thought of God as creator. He sees the whole picture, beginning to end. What makes sense to Him having that timeless perspective would be impossible for us to grasp, bound as we are by time. Unlike me when I edit a manuscript, we cannot go back in real life and change the beginning when we reach the end...much as we often wish we could. God of course knows that, and so He gives us the opportunity to change the ending. What matters most to Him is not where we start, but where we end. There are, in a sense, portions of our life we can "rewrite", through repentance, sorrow, and forgiveness. Those can alter at least some of the dire effects of the past. However, not always. Still, there is hope while the life-story is yet unfolding. Finishing well is what it is all about!
However, when the beginning in real life is not optimal, and the middle is littered with sin and wrong turns, and the finish line is distant and covered with booby traps along the way, it seems easier to put that whole business of "finishing well" off. Charles Spurgeon comments on this dangerous tendency:
It is by little procrastinations that men ruin their souls. They have no intention to delay for years--a few months will bring the more convenient season--to-morrow if you will, they will attend to serious things; but the present hour is so occupied and altogether so unsuitable, that they beg to be excused. Like sands from an hour-glass, time passes, life is wasted by driblets, and seasons of grace lost by little slumbers.
My Chapter One has to be worthy of the ending. And everything in between must be my best. And the ending must be glorious! I have a lot of work before me. The work will not disappear if I wait, but as Charles Spurgeon notes, a delay can turn into years...and a wasted life, or a book never written. What I have begun, it is best to labor upon until I have finished well.
As Charles Spurgeon proclaims hopefully:
Oh, to be wise, to catch the flying hour, to use the moments on the wing! May the Lord teach us this sacred wisdom, for otherwise a poverty of the worst sort awaits us, eternal poverty which shall want even a drop of water, and beg for it in vain.
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Vicky, other Christian poets and writers will appreciate your post, so I'll highlight it on the Christian Poets & Writers blog - http://christianpoetsandwriters.blogspot.com. God bless you and your good work in Jesus' Name.
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