The Dead Fish

A dead fish floated by my kayak. It made me sad. He was large, and silvery. I had to turn away quickly. In the midst of so much beauty, so much life in the lake, I would prefer not to look upon the sadness. But there it was, bumping right against my kayak. Sometimes the sadness collides with us, whether we want it to or not.

One of the hardest things to do is wait for God to act in the midst of our despair. Our pastor spoke yesterday about the joy and hope for those who know God. That is true, but even the great saints of the Bible who knew God intimately, and were described as people after His own heart, sometimes had seasons of grief.

Listen to David in Psalm 56: 8
Record my misery;
    list my tears on your scroll
    are they not in your record?

Did you catch the depth of his grief?

The King James Translation says: 
put my tears into thy bottle; are they not in thy book? 

I think it is a disservice to those who love God to be admonished they should be joyful even when walking in the midst of sadness. David did not disguise his anguish. He trusts that ultimately God will deliver him, and he will once again walk in the light of life. However, in the meantime, he grieved, and poured his mournful heart out to God unabashedly. 

One of my favorite theologians, C.S. Lewis said: "Talk to me about the truth of religion and I'll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don't understand.”(from A Grief Observed.)

Charles Spurgeon said, "A Jesus who never wept could never wipe away my tears." 

If Jesus wept over the grief of this world, perhaps it is okay that we do too. Ultimately, we are told that in Heaven, God will wipe away our tears, but that implies He knows we will shed them. It does not mean we don't trust Him when we cannot muster joy in our flood of tears. It may mean we understand He is waiting to dry them, but the wait seems interminable when we are suffering.


Psalm 56

Be merciful to me, my God,
    for my enemies are in hot pursuit;
    all day long they press their attack.
² My adversaries pursue me all day long;
    in their pride many are attacking me.

³ When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
⁴     In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?

⁵ All day long they twist my words;
    all their schemes are for my ruin.
⁶ They conspire, they lurk,
    they watch my steps,
    hoping to take my life.
⁷ Because of their wickedness do not let them escape;
    in your anger, God, bring the nations down.

⁸ Record my misery;
    list my tears on your scroll,
    are they not in your record?
⁹ Then my enemies will turn back
    when I call for help.
    By this I will know that God is for me.

¹⁰ In God, whose word I praise,
    in the Lord, whose word I praise—
¹¹ in God I trust and am not afraid.
    What can man do to me?

¹² I am under vows to you, my God;
    I will present my thank offerings to you.
¹³ For you have delivered me from death
    and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God
    in the light of life.