Saturday, June 18, 2016

God's Child -- Learning The Treasure of Darkness

Light of the World, charcoal 11x16, available for purchase

It's definite. My second phase of reconstruction surgery is July 1, with radiation beginning August 1. As my sister said, "I can think of better ways to spend the summer."

Yes. Only about a gazillion...

However, I have learned to say (too many times to count) over the past few months: "It is what it is." I can't change it, and fighting against it only brings me down. I must seek to find the sparks of joy in the midst of the darkness.

Like this: without cancer, I would never have discovered Tumeric Tea. I have come to love it! It is made with 4 or 5 cancer fighting spices, and it is so delicious! I can't say I loved the first sip, but it grows on you. And, another example: if sister Amy hadn't come to help me with the first surgery and  noticed how our water tasted terribly of chlorine, I would not have gotten my brand new water purifer.

That water is delicious! I'd grown so used to drinking terrible water that I didn't even understand what I was missing. I didn't know how good water could be, should be! Contemplate that message.

Here's a super-duper blessing. The plastic surgeon insists that to smooth out the appearance of the reconstructed breast he must liposuction my thighs and add fat to the new breast. He reminded me that women pay lots of money for liposuction, but I get it for free, a bonus of this operation. Of all my body parts, my thighs strike me as too large for my otherwise small body. I would never have altered what God gave me if it wasn't necessary. The surgeon says it's necessary.

See? Behind every rain cloud, the sun is still shining.

The mama of Baby S sent me a picture of her holding her little boy for the first time. Their faces reflect joy and serenity. (For privacy reasons, I can't share it. For the backstory, read this week's blogs.)

"Thank you so much," the grandmother texted me, "Just know what you and the other people that have helped my daughter and other women have all have saved lives of precious little human beings. So worth it. Thank you. And God saved his life not once, but twice. He is God's child."

From the darkness of cancer, I found new healthy ways to live and cope and trust in God. From the darkness of abortion, a mama discovered the deep meaning of sacrificial love. Sometimes it requires a season of darkness to know we are drinking poisoned water, and something much, much better awaits us. I am grateful that light dispels the darkness, but even in the darkness there are hidden treasures.

Isaiah 45:3
And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the LORD, which call thee by name, am the God of Israel.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. I didn't remove this comment...did you Amy? I am glad you mentioned the chlorine. The anti-cancer info says get water filters if chlorine strong in water.