On a recent run, I was going at a moderate pace. I wasn't planning to run for very long because it was so hot outside. However, by the time I hit mile 4.2, I started feeling good. I kicked into high gear, thinking I will just run fast to the corner.
I pulled out my handy fitness app, Map My Run, and saw I was doing a 7:15/mile pace. I was sure it was a mistake. I haven't run that fast since I was twenty. So, suddenly, I was on a mission. Could I maintain that pace for two miles to finish out a 10K?
I was running for sure to my utmost. Don't think I wasn't gasping for air. I was. However, I was determined to run faster than I thought I could bear. That seemed like something worthwhile to do. I kept the timer in my hand, checking my pace. I can do this! No, I can't! Yes, I can!
My second (and last) breast reconstruction surgery is in one week, July 1. I have been told this operation is a breeze as regards to the breasts. HOWEVER, to smooth and perfect the reconstruction, the surgeon will be sucking fat out of my thighs to smooth and pad the new breast.
Friends and the internet seem to concur that the aftermath of this liposuction is pretty terribly painful. I am downright terrified. It is hard to keep my eyes on Jesus when everyone is telling me my eyeballs will be rolling out of their sockets in misery.
I can do this! No I can't! Yes, I can...can I?
Please pray friends. Prayer moves mountains. Pray the pain is bearable, and there are no complications. I will call the surgeon this week to be sure he feels it is absolutely necessary we do the liposuction but I already know the answer. He has already told me the breast reconstruction is better with the liposuction.
I watched my phone click off the mileage, and as soon as it hit 6.2 miles, the distance of a 10k, I clicked finish on "Map My Run." The last two miles I averaged below 7:30/mile. I did it. I don't know what reserve all that speed came out of, but it showed me something I needed to see.
We defeat ourselves. We are almost always capable of doing more than we believe we are capable of doing. Similarly, we defeat God's work in our lives. Our vision of God is rarely too big...it is usually too small. Can God handle even this liposuction? Of course He can. Can He empower me to handle it? Is God big enough for even this?
You may not be facing cancer, but I bet you have asked this of God at some point in your life about some overwhelming obstacle. If you haven't, you probably will.
Most of us have some concept of God, and usually it is narrowed by our own limited perspective and experience. A classic book by JB Phillips (Your God is Too Small) says we limit God, envisioning him as policeman, conscience, parental voice, a grand old man, meek and mild, or in a box we construct based on our expectations, to name a few. None of those give the grandeur, power, and awe that God deserves.
Colossians 1:16 tells us that He created all things, the entire universe. Isaiah 45:7 reminds us he formed light and created darkness, makes well-being and calamity. He numbers and names every star, as well as every hair on our head. No sparrow falls to the ground without his notice. His Providence stretches wider than the universe and as small as numbering our every hair. Who is like Him other than He? Majestic in holiness, awesome in power, eternal... and yet inexplicably concerned with the comparatively minuscule affairs of humankind.
This God can do all things. My friend prayed for me yesterday and told me she was praying I would replace worry with worship. Yes! My God is big enough for everything I face. Is yours?