Friday, July 29, 2016

Hiding Behind God

Yesterday, this little peanut was born mid-morning. I received her picture in a text message right before my doctor appointment. The mama is ecstatic but exhausted. I felt the usual overwhelming joy that this little girl might have never seen her birthday if it wasn't for us sidewalk counselors at the busy abortion center. A second mama I had counseled also went into labor. Many people have been involved in this young lady's amazing decision to choose life, so we were all anxiously in prayer. The onslaught of new life was good fortification as I headed in to see my oncology plastic surgeon.

I was seeing him the first time in a month since he did phase two of my breast reconstruction. He was pleased. My blood pressure was back to its healthy low normal. My scars look great. All is well in how the new breast is healing. I no longer have to wear my compression shorts (though he felt they were quite stylish as far as compression shorts go...). I am cleared to bike ride.

That's where the good news ended.

NO kayaking for a month. No sitting in or cooling off in the lake till after radiation is completed. Radiation begins August 8 and lasts six full weeks, every day except weekends. There is NOTHING I can do to determine whether I get severe scarring from the radiation or not. It is 'luck'. Some women scar a lot, some just a little. All will scar (internal breast scarring called capsular contraction). If it is painful or extensive, I need to START ALL OVER with a muscle flap from my back to reconstruct the breast.

All I can do is pray. And ask you all to pray for me if you think of it...

Oh, and one last tidbit, sometimes women go three years without problems, and then scars form,  and they need another surgery.

I blinked at the doctor. At least he doesn't try to sugarcoat anything. I appreciate his honesty. He told me before the last surgery that the liposuction to my thighs to harvest fat for my breast would leave me feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I thought he was kidding. He wasn't.

He was right.The only thing I would have added to his prediction of how I would feel post-liposuction is this: you will feel like you have been hit by a LARGE truck with SHARP spikes all over the fender.

Now one month post-surgery, my thighs only hurt a little. They DO still hurt. Nothing like how much they hurt for the first two weeks,  If you are thinking of this as an option to trimming your figure for vanity purposes --just say no to liposuction.

Back to radiation. I am really hoping to defy the odds and be one of the few with zero to minimal scarring from the radiation treatment.

Meanwhile, I reread my blog from yesterday about how BIG God is. He is BIG....REALLY BIG. Bigger than a large truck, bigger than cancer, bigger than radiation scars. He is so big, that if you need a refuge, God is the place to run. I intend to be hiding behind Him.

Psalm 62:8

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. 

You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word.

He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.


  1. O safe to the Rock that is higher than I;
    My soul with its conflicts and sorrows would fly;
    So sinful, so weary, Lord, Thine would I be;
    Thou blest Rick of Ages, I'm hiding in Thee

    How oft' in the conflict, when pressed by the foe,
    I have fled to my Refuge and breathed out my woe;
    How often, when trials like sea billows roll,
    I have hidden in Thee, O Thou Rock of my soul.

    Hiding in Thee, hiding in Thee,
    Thou blest Rock of Ages, I'm hiding in Thee.

    - William Cushing, 1823-1902.

    Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever.
    Hebrews 13:8

    How oft' in the

    1. wow Joy! Those words are perfect for today's blog! Thank you!

  2. Blessings as you rest, dear vicky! Your heart should be bursting with joy with each baby born when you and your group faithfully intercede, week after week. It's a gift from God, each pic, ad they come in!!!!