Plans amidst the waves

I saw the house I want to buy. It is on a huge lake, and right next to its dock is a rounded large rock, that slides into deep water. What fun the kids and their friends could have on this rock, all the way till they smashed their head open with the inevitable wrong step. I bobbed in my kayak and called the number posted on the dock.

"Are you the person selling the lake front house?" I asked, peering up the hill into the plateglass windows where the owner stood, talking on the phone.
"Yes," he said, "It has the finest view on the lake."
I glanced around me, "I can see that. How much are you asking?"

As I considered how even $100 would be too much to a family currently unemployed, I realized that there was a way we could afford the dream house. I began visualizing the form Disney would send for movie rights to my book.
"One million," Disney offered.
I kayaked and considered the offer. One million doesn't go far nowadays.
"Two," I countered, "And my son the lawyer will need to be sure it is all in order, of course."
"You drive a hard bargain," said Disney, "But because we feel so strongly that this is the best book ever written, we will offer you $3 million."
"Is that your final offer?" I asked, bobbing on the waves.
"Ok, 4," said Disney.

My castle building evaporated as a large wave from a passing jet-ski threatened to capsize the kayak. I paddled back towards the car, thinking how much my parents would enjoy having lunch on that beautiful deck on the cliff overlooking the lake. You never know. God brings visions and hopes for a reason.

Later when I told Arvo about my dream house, he said he would never forget a statement by a preacher, Charles Stanley: "God is not interested in our ease, pleasure, or comfort."
"How about my parents' ease, pleasure, and comfort?" I asked.

I suppose he is right. God puts His people through some pretty vigorous wash cycles at times. Still, He tells us that He wants to give us the desires of our heart. As I kayaked back, watching osprey soar overhead, the water blue green reflecting quiet forests around it, and listened to the stillness, I did have a lapse in my selfishness. I paused to thank God for all I have been given, for how many desires of my heart He has blessed me with over the years. And back home, I clicked on Amazon.com to discover that Comer's book was newly available for purchase. I was surprised to see my name beside his, as editor. I had known, of course, it would be on an inner page- I didn't expect any other billing. I wish I had done a better editing job....And he had already sold one book! My old millionaire friend had just made $3!
And it struck me that my sweet senior friend had received this seemingly impossible desire of his heart at age 93!
You just never know where the purposes of God might land you, or when. Until then, keep paddling.

Psalm 37:3-5

 ³ Trust in the LORD and do good;
   dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Take delight in the LORD,
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.
 ⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
   trust in him and he will do this:

Poor Timing

Asherel and I volunteered at our club obedience show yesterday. We have no obedient dogs to enter in these kinds of shows, so instead, we went to help our wonderful club and maybe absorb some molecules of dog obedience to bring home to our dogs. Unfortunately, I suspect hard work is at the root of obedient dogs.

We were amazed by the expert dogs, the ones in the advanced classes, but the classes I most enjoy watching are the novices. You never know what you will get in a novice class. Sometimes the owners luck out and the dog does everything right. The owners, dogs, and judges all look surprised when that happens.

More often, the newbies provide much needed laugh therapy. My favorite yesterday was a happy golden retriever. He trotted out onto the ring at his owner's side, looking gleefully around. His tongue lolled out of his mouth, and his golden wispy tail flapped back and forth. He pranced and seemed surprised when his owner told him to sit. He glanced at her, paused, and then wagged his happy tail and sat. He needed many leash tugs to follow her commands. Each leash tug is a deduction, but it was clear the retriever didn't mind.
Deduct away, he was thinking, I am dog and I am happy happy happy to be here with you all!!!

Then came the part when the owner was to down the dog off leash, tell him to stay, and walk away. As soon as the leash came off, the retriever bounded into play position. The owner told him, "Down!"
The retriever raced around the ring, returned to the owner, and dropped again into an enticing "play with me" pose. For some reason, the owner did not want to play. Each time she approached him, leash in hand, ready to snatch him, he was off hurtling and bounding around her and around the judge. The judge remained stoic. I never saw him crack a smile. Finally, after several happy moments for the dog and agonizing moments for the owner, she grabbed him, leashed him, told the judge she was sorry and melted away.

So much of life is a matter of proper timing. A playful, happy dog is greatly to be desired....but not when what is needed is sober obedience. I can sympathize with the dog. Much of my life would be vastly improved if my timing were better. I always think of the perfect thing to say after the situation is over and gone. I often do the right thing too soon and it is then the wrong thing. I push the send button before I check that I sent it to the person I wasn't making fun of.....(haha, actually, I did send it to the wrong person, but I have grown spiritually and I wasn't making fun of anyone in the content of the email......for once.....)

As usual, the retriever and I are not alone in our mismanagement of timing. In the Bible,when Paul is arrested for rabble rousing (as speaking the message of Jesus was proclaimed to be), he is sent to plead his case to Festus. Festus hears him out, but before he comes to a judgment, Paul says he is a Roman citizen and appeals his case to Rome, as was his right as a citizen. Festus confides later that it was too bad Paul appealed to Rome as Festus did not think Paul was guilty of anything deserving death.  And we may conclude that Paul had a timing problem- he should have waited to see how Festus would rule. But as a result of his appeal, Paul is able to tell many in Rome about Jesus whom he would otherwise have had no access to.

That is the wonderful thing about God's timing. He can use anything and turn it around for good.
All things are perfect in His time.... and God doesn't give deductions when He has to tug on our hearts. He just pours out His mercy and love and as gently as possible steers us to the better path.

Ecclesiastes 8:
 ⁵ Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm,
   and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure.
⁶ For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter,

2 Corinthians 9:8
⁸ And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

According to His Good Purpose

"What is that wire thing called on the parlor copter you sell? A thrust bearing I think. I need one of those."  Having now two (almost working) designs as well as a kit that we know works, we were now ready to get materials to build our own official  Science Olympiad helicopter.
"OK, what size?"
"Oh, there are different sizes?"
"Yes, and it has to match the size of your prop shaft."
"Oh and I need some of those too."
"What size?"
"The size of the thrust bearing."
Sigh.

"OH," I added, "I also need those really tiny little things that hold the prop shaft on."
"Do you have an item number....or name?"
"No, but they are those little little things on the Parlor copter you sell."
"I will look it up.What size?"
"Well big enough to hold the prop shaft on."
"Ma'am, are you new to this?"
"YES! How can you tell?"

Flash forward to my discussion with my "flight expert consultant", my brother.
I asked him a highly technical and difficult question, that even I didn't understand. Somehow, he seemed to sift through the ignorance and answered, and gave me a very simple formula that addressed the situation. I must be highly secretive here in case we have stumbled on a helicopter that will surprise everyone and actually fly.
"Perfect !" I wrote to him, "That is what we need! Simple formulas! Are there any other simple formulas you can send me?"
He immediately sent me a website filled with formulas. I glanced briefly at it and wrote back.
"I said SIMPLE formulas."
"How much simpler than force times distance do you need???" he asked.

Are you sensing a pattern? Because I am. I am beginning to get the impression that I am not fooling anyone into thinking I have figured out the principles of flight, aeronautic engineering, or perhaps even how to properly brush my teeth. I am an imposter, a fraud, a hopeless dimwit trying to do something I have no training, no education, no experience, no inclination, and apparently no real talent for.  My only saving grace is that I have the wisdom to have a team with two kids much smarter than me.

I love Rodin's sculpture of The Thinker. You all know it, right? It is of the figure sitting with his chin in his hand, obviously deep in thought and complex reflection of the workings and mysteries of the universe. I have always admired that pose, the sentiment expressed by that statue. I have always wanted to be a Thinker.  But I am coming to the sad conclusion that perhaps I just am not. I have produced children who are Thinkers.... and my husband is a Thinker. Even my dog has been described as a Thinker. I am surrounded by thoughtful-ness. It swirls around me while I stand in the eye of the hurricane of ideas, untouched by the winds.

I am often plagued by this damaging desire to be everyone but who I am. It is the basis of my quest for the perfect haircut. When I see adorable short hair walk by, I want short hair. When I see beautiful long hair walk by, I want long hair. When I see great singers, I wish I could sing. When I see great actors, I wish I could act. I am always on the sideline watching excellence and wondering why there wasn't enough to go around.... why am I just me?

These periods usually don't last long, or at least get buried by the march of life as myself, since no one else seems clamoring for my place in the roll-call of humanity. I don't think I am alone, either, in at least occasionally wishing I were someone I am not. God doesn't bother to tell us things we don't need to hear, like "Be more selfish and greedy." Most of us can do that just fine. He takes the time to remind us of the things we keep forgetting, and many times He mentions that we are loved, created by Him to be exactly what we are, and formed in the womb with all those attributes known to Him even before anyone else knows of our existence. If I truly love and trust God, then I have to believe that He knew what He was doing when He made me. He knew I would someday coach a Science Olympiad Helicopter team, and He knew I would not understand most of what I was trying to teach my students. Still, His purpose will be accomplished.

Christmas is a great season to reflect on this issue. I cannot imagine being Mary, the mother of Jesus, no matter how many stained glass windows would be created bearing my image.  If I were the one the angel appeared to on that historic evening, telling me I was pregnant around age 15 with a baby who was going to save the entire world from their sins.... I am pretty sure the conversation would have gone more like this:
Angel:
“Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. ³¹ You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. ³² He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, ³³ and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”(Luke 1)
Me:
"Say WHAT? Are you nuts? I haven't lived my own life yet. How on earth do you expect me to be responsible for someone else's life.... particularly someone who is going to be in the business of reforming people like Mao Tse Tung... or Hitler."
Angel:
 ³⁵ ... “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. ³⁶ Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. ³⁷ For no word from God will ever fail.”(Luke 1)
Me:
"Well if you insist, but I am telling you there is a first time for everything. If ever a situation was being set up for failure it is this one. You sure God wants to take a chance on me for such an important role? Maybe I should start with something smaller.... like a puppy."

And so on. You get the gist.

But PRAISE GOD, that is not how Mary responded, and as a result, the Messiah entered the world, that "whosoever would believeth in Him would have eternal life."  So, I will go study the web site John sent me, and try to absorb those "simple" formulas, just in case God's purpose is to make a student's helicopter fly.

Philippians 2:13

¹³ for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Ephesians 1: 11-12
 ¹¹ In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, ¹² in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.