Plans amidst the waves

I saw the house I want to buy. It is on a huge lake, and right next to its dock is a rounded large rock, that slides into deep water. What fun the kids and their friends could have on this rock, all the way till they smashed their head open with the inevitable wrong step. I bobbed in my kayak and called the number posted on the dock.

"Are you the person selling the lake front house?" I asked, peering up the hill into the plateglass windows where the owner stood, talking on the phone.
"Yes," he said, "It has the finest view on the lake."
I glanced around me, "I can see that. How much are you asking?"

As I considered how even $100 would be too much to a family currently unemployed, I realized that there was a way we could afford the dream house. I began visualizing the form Disney would send for movie rights to my book.
"One million," Disney offered.
I kayaked and considered the offer. One million doesn't go far nowadays.
"Two," I countered, "And my son the lawyer will need to be sure it is all in order, of course."
"You drive a hard bargain," said Disney, "But because we feel so strongly that this is the best book ever written, we will offer you $3 million."
"Is that your final offer?" I asked, bobbing on the waves.
"Ok, 4," said Disney.

My castle building evaporated as a large wave from a passing jet-ski threatened to capsize the kayak. I paddled back towards the car, thinking how much my parents would enjoy having lunch on that beautiful deck on the cliff overlooking the lake. You never know. God brings visions and hopes for a reason.

Later when I told Arvo about my dream house, he said he would never forget a statement by a preacher, Charles Stanley: "God is not interested in our ease, pleasure, or comfort."
"How about my parents' ease, pleasure, and comfort?" I asked.

I suppose he is right. God puts His people through some pretty vigorous wash cycles at times. Still, He tells us that He wants to give us the desires of our heart. As I kayaked back, watching osprey soar overhead, the water blue green reflecting quiet forests around it, and listened to the stillness, I did have a lapse in my selfishness. I paused to thank God for all I have been given, for how many desires of my heart He has blessed me with over the years. And back home, I clicked on Amazon.com to discover that Comer's book was newly available for purchase. I was surprised to see my name beside his, as editor. I had known, of course, it would be on an inner page- I didn't expect any other billing. I wish I had done a better editing job....And he had already sold one book! My old millionaire friend had just made $3!
And it struck me that my sweet senior friend had received this seemingly impossible desire of his heart at age 93!
You just never know where the purposes of God might land you, or when. Until then, keep paddling.

Psalm 37:3-5

 ³ Trust in the LORD and do good;
   dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴ Take delight in the LORD,
   and he will give you the desires of your heart.
 ⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
   trust in him and he will do this:

Hope of Things Unseen

As my senior friends walked out of the Senior Home, I held up a proof of my book.
"What's this?" asked Comer.
He looked at the cover, and saw the picture of my dog, Honeybun, and then the author's name at the bottom.
"Why, this is by you!" he said, "Well my goodness!"

After I helped him in the car, he handed the book to Evelyn. She smiled as she turned the pages. I am not sure she got the full significance, but even through the limitations imposed by Alzheimers, I think she understood it was important to me.
As we drove off to "the world's finest BBQ", I glanced in my rear view mirror. Comer had removed his glasses and was already reading my book.

"I have another surprise for you," I said, turning on the new Engelbert Humperdinck tape Asherel and I had found.  These were some of his less well known songs, and even Evelyn only sang along with one or two. But Comer seemed to want to talk, even more than listen to his favorite singer.

"Did I tell you I sang on the radio once?" he asked.
He had mentioned it before. It must have been a very precious memory.
"How did that happen?" I asked.
"Well, I knew the general manager, and he asked me if I'd like to. I sang Blue Moon."
"Oh that's a good one! How did you do? Did you get lots of good reviews?"
"Quite a few people called to congratulate me. In those days there weren't many radio stations, and so I was heard all across Alabama."
"Wow! You sang to Alabama!"
 Comer fell silent and I saw him looking at my book again.

We ate  a glorious lunch of "the world's best BBQ" while  parked on the shore of Lake Wylie. BBQ dripped from our fingers as we  listened to Engelbert Humperdinck, and watched the water tickle the blue sky. As we returned to the Home, Comer said, "You know, I wrote lots of poetry."
"I didn't know that," I said, "Do you still have them?"
"Oh yes, and some short stories too."
"I'd love to see them," I said, "Can you bring them to me next time?"
"I sure can!" he said happily, "I once thought I was a pretty good writer."
"Would you like me to publish them for you...now that I know how? Put them in a book just like mine?"
"Oh that would be grand!" he said, "Can you really do that? They are just written by hand....but they're legible."
"Sure! I can type them up for you and we will get you published. Maybe you will be famous!"
He unbuckled his seat belt with a smile, clutching my book to his side.

"This has been a wonderful day," he said, as he and Evelyn walked onto the little sidewalk, "It always is, but this was particularly nice."

I wondered why this day had loomed so large in his estimation. Really, on our weekly outings, we always get nice food, we often listen to music, we often reminisce,and this time we had not even talked much at all. We had just watched the lake lap at the shore, and he had held my book. But I realized that the memories of his singing on the radio, and the poetry he had written must have held particular meaning for him. Was this 93 year old man joyful today because there was the potential of a long held dream maybe coming true? I don't suppose anyone writes with the intention of it being hidden. There are thoughts that tumble unseen in our heads for that. Was he still eager to leave a mark, some sort of tangible imprint that said, "I was here and I mattered?"  I knew I would have to transcribe and publish that book of poetry soon. Time was rushing by my old friend.

I had been surprised that a 93 year old man would care about such a thing. I guess I thought by that age, dreams had all died. But as I pondered how God had arranged the universe, it struck me that some of the greatest hopes in life are of things unseen, and as yet, unrealized. The hope of something better, something greater, something more perfect, something eternal. I guess that until Jesus calls us home, we are all hoping that what we don't yet see, will one day be.......

Hebrews 11:
¹ Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ² This is what the ancients were commended for.

Dead Ends

I stared at the facebook post and for a moment, felt like I had been punched. The agent who had been so encouraging, seemed so interested in my book, and so close to being the start of my literary career was closing her agency. For a variety of reasons, she had had it with the publishing industry. I hoped this wasn't a way of getting out of having to tell me she didn't want my book, but I think her frustration had nothing to do with me. I stared at the announcement. My book had been with this agent for a year. My proposal was much improved through her suggestions and the book more streamlined through my continued editing but a whole year of my hopes for publishing had rested on that agent, the one who now was closing shop.

Oh well. I will figure out what to do next after my son's wedding in a week. Fortunately, my plate is too full right now to spend too much time whining or despairing.

"You must have a reason,Lord," I said out loud.
"Yeh, your book stinks," said God, "You singlehandedly drove her out of the book publishing business."
"How could one author do that?" I asked.
"It isn't easy," He answered, "Maybe you should take up a new obsession. How about kite flying?"
"I thought the voice of God was supposed to be one of encouragement."
"This is encouragement,"He said,"Stick with what you are good at."
"Well then you need to come up with something other than kite flying."
God was silent after that.

When James, John, and Peter were washing their fishing nets after a discouraging session of not catching a single fish all night, Jesus walked by. "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch," He told them.
They argued that they had worked all night and not caught a single fish. However, rather than fight the Lord of Heaven and Earth, they did what He said. They caught so many fish that the nets threatened to snap and the boats to sink from the prodigious haul.

The lesson is not lost on me. When God wants us to succeed, He will grant us success. And success in His eyes may look different from success in our own.

"You don't really want me to take up kite flying instead of writing, do you?" I asked.
"No," He said, "But I would rest from this worry for the next week. Don't miss the joy I have set before you over the joy you thought you wanted but can't have right now."

Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

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