Dumb Phones

I had not known demonic possession could apply to phones until yesterday. My so called "smart" phone suddenly went berserk. First it wouldn't turn on. I did everything I knew to do. I even offered it Starbucks Extra Extra Robust coffee. It still lay there dead. And then, on its own, it suddenly blasted into life. It began vibrating and lighting up, and dialing random numbers.  Random applications flashed across its touch screen. It buzzed and struggled to open windows which then fluttered, flashed off and on, and then disappeared altogether. It was downright spooky.

I called Verizon.
I listened to the automated list of "Problems I was experiencing". Then a recorded voice asked where I would like to be directed. I said "Priests."
The phone put me through to the technician.
"Hello!" said a cheery voice,"What is your name, please?"
"Vicky."
"Well hello Vicky! How can I help you? What's going on?"
"My phone needs an exorcism."
"Oh, I am sorry to hear you are experiencing difficulties. Let's see if we can help you out, shall we?"
"I'd appreciate that, because right now, I am a little afraid to be in the same room with it."
"What exactly is it doing?" he asked.
I glanced at the phone. It had gotten off the counter and was choking the dog.  Not really, but I would not have been surprised if it did.
"It is flashing and dialing random numbers, and then vibrating and shuddering."
"Hmmm. Let me check the owner's manual, Vicky. I am real sorry you are experiencing problems and I do apologize for the inconvenience."
He put me on hold, during which period I tied a clove of garlic around my neck and pointed a weapon menacingly at the phone in case it attacked.
"Well," he said, returning to the call,"It appears this is not normal..."
Do ya think not?

I knew what God was up to here. He knows my thorn in the side, my perennial weakness in the face of frustration and irritation with products that cost a bundle and then don't work. Add to that technicians who are unfailingly polite and trained to empathize with irate customers but quite often don't know the product very well and I tend to become....hmmmm.... like the smart phone gone dumb.I buzz and vibrate and whine and my light that draws others to God grows a little dim and erratic.

So they sent me a new smart phone. Faxed it overnight. When it arrived, the first problem emerged. Neither Asherel nor I could get the battery door on it. I put it in a bag in my purse and we headed to Verizon. I would have them put on the battery door and activate the phone, and all my woes would be over. Praise the Lord.

At the Verizon store, I handed the technician the phone, after explaining we couldn't get the battery door on.
He took it from my hand, and then looked at me.
"It seems to have put the door on itself," he said.
Asherel and I both knew that battery door had NOT been on. This should have been my first clue that this smart phone was a genius.... I knew it remained to be seen if it was a force for good or for evil.
"As long as I am here, can you activate it and be sure all my apps are installed correctly?"
"Sure," he said, "I can talk you through everything." (What he was quickly realizing was that the smart phone user who could not put on the battery door without help might find the next few steps beyond her, where reading and comprehension were critical.)
"Hmmm," he said,"That's odd...."
"What's odd?" My lemon radar was up.
"It won't input the information....."
I saw that it was starting off doing the same wacko things the other phone had done. It was not responding to the touch screen and then it would vibrate, flash, and respond randomly. It seemed to settle down for him, and he brushed off my concerns that Mephistopheles 2 was taking control of my my phone.
"All set!" he said, a half hour later.
I took the phone and we went to our next errand. On the drive, the phone began going crazy, flipping out like the last one had.
 I am worn out. Sometimes I wonder if technology is worth it.
Verizon says I can go look at other phones and see if I would prefer a different kind....like one that works.

When Timothy was sent to encourage and check up on the church at Thessalonica, he was worried. He knew they were undergoing many trials, and he was pretty sure they were crumbling under the pressure. And none of them were even dealing with demonic smart phones. To his delight, he found that their faith still stood. And the result of seeing the faith of those who were suffering hardships and persecution was that Timothy and Paul and others were strengthened and encouraged. Hard as it is to remain a loving and shining servant of God when frustration is mounting in many areas, if we do stand firm, we are shoring others up as well. It gives at least some purpose to struggles....small ones like haywire phones, and big ones like grave illness or broken hearts.

I think my phone is giving me a wake-up call. Maybe it is smarter than I thought.....

1 Thessalonians 3: 1-8

 ¹ So when we could stand it no longer, we thought it best to be left by ourselves in Athens. ² We sent Timothy, who is our brother and co-worker in God’s service in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, ³ so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them. ⁴ In fact, when we were with you, we kept telling you that we would be persecuted. And it turned out that way, as you well know. ⁵ For this reason, when I could stand it no longer, I sent to find out about your faith. I was afraid that in some way the tempter had tempted you and that our labors might have been in vain. ⁶ But Timothy has just now come to us from you and has brought good news about your faith and love. He has told us that you always have pleasant memories of us and that you long to see us, just as we also long to see you. ⁷ Therefore, brothers and sisters, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. ⁸ For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord.