Grateful For Every Good Gift

This is how shiny Susy greets me every time she sees me. I am in charge of Susy and hanging out with my fun nephew Anthony for the next week while his folks are gallivanting in exotic places. Suzy decided she wanted to sleep with me last night, but couldn't quite hop up on the high bed. Against my better judgment I helped her up. She rewarded me with a few well placed slurps across my face and then lay her head on my chest. She is incessant, but endearing.

She loves Anthony too. Anthony doesn't really connect with most animals but he tells me he loves Susy. He even likes it when she licks his face. 

Susy wil not permit anyone not to love her. In this household, what Susy wants, Susy gets.  If denied, she will lick you into submission.

After getting about four gallons of dog spit all over me, I dropped Anthony at his job and took off on my bicycle. The bicycle is a loaner from my brother's neighbor and a REALLY nice bike. I felt like I could've biked all day...and it would take that long to dry off all the Susy slobber.

The scenery in this gorgeous area where I grew up is breath-taking. Mountains surround the valley, and the Susquehanna river meanders alongside the historic town where my brother lives. I biked for twenty miles along the river. I wondered if I had appreciated the beauty when I was growing up here. I don't think I quite did. I always thought it was pretty, but now, it was gorgeous. Was it always gorgeous, and it had just become so familiar that I lost sight of just how gorgeous it was? What other wonders of my life had become so familiar that I had become immune to the beauty? Those closest to me? Even maybe God? I prayed as I biked that God would reawaken any lackluster response to the delights of my life that perhaps I no longer noticed because they were so ever present.

I passed Jackson's Pumpkin farm which was one of my favorite places to visit in the fall. They always make amazing figures out of pumpkins and autumn sheaths of corn and hay bales. It was always magical visiting Jackson's farm. Many happy memories of going there to pick out pumpkins clattered about in my head. 

As I biked back homeward, watching the river sparkling in the sun that was peeking from behind clouds, I saw a pair of bald eagles! I crossed the street and stood on the river bank watching the bald eagles gliding above the water. After ten minutes, they disappeared behind the mountain. What a blessing!

They were too far away for any picture to show up, but this is where I stood watching them. When I returned home, guess who covered me with fresh slobber? I won't take it for granted. I know when I fly home next week, I will miss her exuberant love.

Psalm 118:24 

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Colossians 3:17 

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Psalm 136:1 

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.

Ephesians 1:16 

I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers,

James 1:17 

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Coping with Reality

I asked my art class what they wanted to draw next.
"A cabin!" one shouted.
"With mountains!" another said.
"And a dog!" a third one cried out.
"With a dragon!" a fourth suggested.
"How about if we leave the dragon for the next picture?" I said. Fortunately, the dragon lover agreed.

Since I would not have much time to prepare after returning from my daughter's out of state wedding, I knew I had to do a practice pastel drawing this week. So yesterday, while praying to God about some of the disturbing trends in our society, I drew the picture above. It was very calming. I thought again how blessed I am to be able to draw. How do people who can't recreate a world the way they wish it was cope with reality?

For example, I got two texts last night from two different mamas we work with who chose life at the abortion mill. Both had been doing really well. Both had hit major bumps in the road. Neither is an artist. What do they do to soldier on?

Psalm 46:1-11 gives us a good idea of the best way to cope when reality disappoints:

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. ...

In the midst of earthquakes, mountains collapsing into the sea, tsunamis and floods...God is immovable. His holy habitation awaits us, and is secure from all the ravages of the world where we reside. God Himself is the unshakable refuge in the cataclysmic shifts of earthly life.

There is a passage in the beautiful Psalm 23 that I never thought much about till recently, but it relates perfectly here.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overfloweth...

This is a remarkable image. How many of us are surrounded by enemies, in mortal battle, and sit down to a quiet and sumptuous feast, relaxing as our head is anointed with oil and our cup is filled to the brim?

Answer: None! We are shooting, hiding, running, freaking out!

Yet look at the image God sends us of how He leads us in this frightening, conflict-ridden, and fallen world. We are seated at a banquet though our enemies are all around us. We eat and drink in peace while God Himself keeps the enemy at bay.

Ultimately, He is the only reality that matters. The earth and its pleasures will pass away, but God remains forever. He and I, He and you, are seated together, safely enjoying the bounty of His eternal goodness. The enemies may surround us, but they cannot harm us. Not eternally.

That is even more comforting than drawing my pretty picture! Meanwhile, I have a whole host of supporters of Cities4Life I hope to galvanize to help the mamas. God is sufficient, but we cannot sit idly by while His people suffer when we have the means to help.

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1 John 5:13-14

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life. And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

John 10:10 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Matthew 10:29-31 

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Perfect Peace

I have a wonderful  Facebook friend who posts Bible verses each day with beautiful photos from her stunning farm in Virginia. It always lifts my spirit. There is so much sadness, fear, evil, confrontation, despair, and hopelessness in the world. It is heartening to see that spash of optimism each day with the reminder that God made a beautiful world.

Today, I really needed that. Honestly, every day I need that. God is in control. God loves you and He loves me. He longs for us to enter His Kingdom and share the bounty of eternity in Heaven. That is awesome. It is important to remember that.

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Philippians 4:6 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

John 16:33 

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Isaiah 26:3 

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

1 Peter 5:7

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Heaven's Declaration

I have a friend who takes pictures of the sunrise almost every morning and posts them on facebook. It never ceases to cheer me, particularly since he is someone who endured great loss and the picture of hope moves me. I am often up before the sun, but I usually am already busy at work, and don't see the sunrise. Besides, our street is filled with tall trees and the horizon is mostly blocked from view. But this morning when I glanced out the window as I got up, I saw a pretty sunrise with all those beautiful colors that remind me God paints a new picture every morning.

It is not an easy life. There are so many struggles, hurts, misunderstandings that make our view drab and cheerless at times. But it is hard not to see God's message of renewal every morning, when the entire sky is declaring it.

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The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. -Psalms 19:1

God Meant it for Good

The very day I got my Surface Pro2 back from the shop (who cleanied it of all viruses and assured me now no worries, now it would be all fixed and no more crashes,)  it was crashing, not playing videos, not opening several apps, and sluggish. I called Microsoft on-line help, who were unfailingly polite, but even after taking over my computer remotely, couldn't help me. Then they hung up on me. I don't know if it was on purpose, but they didn't call back. And after 2 hours on the phone, much of it on hold, I was not happy. Grrrrrr.

So, I brought it (back) in to the Microsoft store yesterday.  They listened to the list of issues and said the easiest thing to do would be to switch it out for a new one (again) which is what they had done two weeks ago. 

I explained I am an author, and this would be the second switch to a new one, and for months I had been coming in with issues. Each time they take it from me, I can't work on my books. Furthermore, hours and hours have been spent on the phone trying to solve the ongoing concerns.

The manager was great. She said immediately that she would give me full purchase price of my Pro2 to upgrade to the Pro3. (That's the newest Surface computer model and I so wanted it!) I'd been playing with the Pro3 while waiting for the technician to help me the last time I'd been in. In fact, I had drawn a picture with the new improved pen on the new improved screen, and the store manager had taken my photograph. I lusted after the Pro3, but knew I should not even begin to think of getting it. Too expensive, and my Pro2 was only a year old. I would never have even thought to pray for it. I would not bother God with such a selfish prayer.

And yet...look what God did with the trouble and dismay and lost time over my cantankerous Pro 2! He gave me an (un-needed) desire of my heart, one I hadn't even dared ask for. Of course, if I am going to write, I must have a working, reliable computer, and certainly God knows that. And He knows I want to write messages that draw others to Him. But I could have limped along with what I had. 

To think I'd been groaning and moaning about all the troubles the Pro2 was giving me! Now I praise God for those troubles! I suspect it was no accident that my Bible Study was about Joseph, and how his brothers threw him in the well, leaving him to die. They meant it for harm, but God used it to bring about immense good. In the interim of course, Joseph was thrown into slavery, and then prison, before being finally restored as the Pharoah's right hand man. However, while enslaved and imprisoned, I will bet he wasn't feeling so beloved of God. But He was! Even in the midst of all that trouble, God was working and preparing Him, and ultimately rescued Him for a great purpose.

Take heart! Take heart! What feels like constant struggle and evil may be like Joseph's well. Others may have meant it for harm, but God can use it for good. 

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Genesis 50: 15-21

15And when Joseph's brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him. 16And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying, 17So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him. 18And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants. 19And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? 20But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. 21Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

Nothing is impossible with God

save a dog- hollowcreekfarm.org

http://www.amazon.com/Vicky-Kaseorg/e/B006XJ2DWU

One Person With God

I went to the 42nd anniversary of Roe V Wade memorial in Charlotte yesterday. It was very moving. As my friend, Lisa, one of the directors of Cities4Life, was introduced with one of the mamas she'd counseled who had chosen life a few years ago, I snapped a photo. Later, as I looked at it, I saw that sunbeams were radiating across the scene and settling on the Mama, Lisa, and the child who had once been slated for abortion. I hadn't noticed that at all while standing there during the ceremony. What a beautiful picture. I think it speaks eloquently of God's pleasure in this wonderful warrior for Christ, and for the sanctity of life. This mama was so affected by her near abortion, that she has recently started a non-profit organization that will provide transitional housing for other mamas who choose not to abort, and are in dire need.

I teared up not a few times that morning.

As the ceremony ended, the organizer told us if we wanted to take the anniversary pamphlets and hand them out, that would be great. I have never been one to hand out tracts on the street. The  people that do that sort of thing are people I have shunned in my past. But, I grabbed a handful, and decided to hand them out as I walked back the half-mile to my car. Some people ignored me, but many took my pamphlets. A group of two men and a women were on the edge of the sidewalk. I stopped and asked if they would like my pamphlet.

"Oh," said the woman, "I would like one! I am a reporter and I was supposed to cover this event! Will you walk with me and let me interview you?"

So I walked with her, telling her about Cities4life and how we help the women who choose life over abortion. She asked many questions, and I answered them all. I cited some of the terrible statistics about the emotional upheaval of women who choose abortion, including the suicide rate. She seemed genuinely intrigued by how many women actually change their mind, right there at the abortion center. She also was vigorously nodding her head as I described how we are not protestors, but advocates for life, and approach those women with lists of resources and real help in accessing them.

"We do help many of the women," I told her,  "but ultimately, abortion is a Gospel-issue. If we are going to change the culture that believes that abortion is the answer to terrible circumstances or inconvenient pregnancies, we must change the heart. Only Jesus can do that." She wrote that down. I hope it goes in the article. The most important thing we do is challenge them to examine where they are spiritually, and why abortion can never be the answer. Not from a moral/ethical humanitarian aspect, and certainly not from a spiritual one.

I talked with her the entire walk back, where I introduced her to the organizer, Flip Benham. She took my number because she said she'd like to talk to me more.

"Flip will set you straight on anything I said that was untrue," I laughed, passing her off to Flip. We shook hands.

"I really enjoyed our discussion," she told me as I waved and scurried away. It felt like she meant it.

I hope she doesn't twist my words. To the degree that one person is able, I so want to change the heart of this community, of this nation such that we might never memorialize a 43rd year of legal abortion. As I gazed at the photo later of the sunbeams falling like a benediction upon the mama who chose life and her sidewalk counselor, I was grateful that none of us are just one person. We are each one person with God. 

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charlotte.cities4life.org

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Jeremiah 1:5 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

Genesis 9:6 

“Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image.

Exodus 20:13 

“You shall not murder.

Psalm 127:3 

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Psalm 139:13-16 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

Isaiah 49:16

Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.

Ephesians 2:10 

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Raising the Bar

My middle child Matthias wanted to be a lawyer ever since joining debate club at age 11. He became a member of Charlotte Teen Court as an "attorney" as soon as he was old enough to be allowed to do so. He worked hard in school, and then want on to become a top student in law school. He sacrificed a great deal working towards his dream. He never wavered in his desire, and he kept plugging through some very deep disappointments. He never gave up, though there were many times I thought surely the many obstacles, setbacks, or failures might finally do him in. 

An abysmal economy hit during his years in law school. A very small percentage of his fellow students were extended summer internships or job prospects. In prior years, most law students would have paid internships and job offers at the end of their first year. By the time he graduated, he had still not received a job offer.

Dismayed, but refusing to give up, he continued applying. And then he got an interview with a major firm that had turned him down his first year as a law student. It was the firm in Virginia he had most wanted to work for. He didn't want to get his hopes up because there had been so many disappointments. It was a miraculous, joyful day when they hired him. All that was left was to pass the bar exam.

Students take the Bar in early summer. They don't find out if they passed until late October. He began working at the wonderful law firm, but of course, he had to pass the bar exam. 

Yesterday, I got a text message from my remarkable, hard working, never-giving-up son:

He passed the bar on his first try.

It is so easy to throw in the towel, especially when confronted with failure after failure. It is so easy to blame others, or to blame God when the world seems to be against us. It is much harder to keep trying, keep praying, keep hoping, keep persevering.

I write this with tears in my eyes, filled with love and pride and joy for my wonderful son, a man of God who exemplifies perseverance. I feel a little bit more able to tackle the day thinking of his example. In things of God, we will often be ridiculed, and discouraged by an increasingly anti-God society. We are often deceived that lowering our standards, lowering the bar of moral dictates or Godly behavior is what we need to do to reach the world. It is a lie, and one we should not succumb to. All of us are called to persevere in our walk with God as much as we our able, and in the end, we will be rewarded. Jesus set the bar, not us, and He wants us to pass over it even more than we do.

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For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1:5-8 NIV)

My Remarkable Team

I have managed Destination Imagination teams for 4 years. Last night, the team I have worked with for the past two years met for their regular time together. I set up an "instant challenge" for them to solve. This is a difficult problem which they must solve with very limited materials and in a very short time frame. I wish I had videotaped it. Just imagine that they managed to devise a catapult in 7 minutes made of a spoon, spool, rubberband, and toothpick that shot a golf ball onto a papertowel roll ramp supported with 2 straws into a target 6 inches away. It was nothing short of brilliant.

Then they spent the next 45 minutes without any supervision finishing off a ten item check list of the things they wanted to accomplish in their meeting time towards their year-long project. I wanted to cry with the sheer joy of their maturity, accomplishment, and through it all, sense of fun and delight.

I have been very discouraged of late. The direction of our country makes me want to vomit. Personal struggles seem to be at an all time high. And on top of that, a spiritual battle rages in one of the darkest days of the year, and I feel like most of us are blind to it. But in the midst of all that angst, steps my Destination Imagination team. Young, bright, motivated, delightful, polite, respectful, and hard working. There is hope for tomorrow. Sometimes God brings fresh air into a room that has been long devoid of oxygen, and with a gasp, we realize we may survive!

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Thank God ! Call out his Name! Tell the whole world who he is and what he’s done! Sing to him! Play songs for him! Broadcast all his wonders! Revel in his holy Name, God -seekers, be jubilant! Study God and his strength, seek his presence day and night; Remember all the wonders he performed, the miracles and judgments that came out of his mouth. Seed of Israel his servant! Children of Jacob, his first choice! He is God, our God; wherever you go you come on his judgments and decisions. He keeps his commitments across thousands of generations, the covenant he commanded, The same one he made with Abraham, the very one he swore to Isaac; He posted it in big block letters to Jacob, this eternal covenant with Israel: “I give you the land of Canaan, this is your inheritance; Even though you’re not much to look at, a few straggling strangers.” (1 Chronicles 16:8-19 MSG)

Pumpkins

I love pumpkins. Not only are they delicious in pie, pumpkin lattes, and cheesecake, but they are the absolute perfect color to complement the green grass right before it turns brown and dead for the winter. Orange and green are one of my favorite color combinations. I love driving by the pumpkin stands that are dotted across the county. Orange pumpkins  - such a cheerful color. And there are always children leapfrogging across the pumpkin piles, heaving pumpkins nearly as big as themselves in their chubby arms, or using a large pumpkin as a stool to rest upon. Very few people frown in the midst of pumpkins. Have you ever noticed that? Even before anyone carves a toothy grin in their bright orange crust, pumpkins are smiling. They are smiling on the inside, bursting with goodness. Oh to be a pumpkin! 

And they are so hardy! Tough as nails! It takes a strong grip and sharp knife to carve a pumpkin. Sturdy, happy, cheerful pumpkins. However, for all their cheerful nearly indestructible exterior, did you know that just one night of frost or  a few drenching rains and the ripe pumpkin on the vine becomes a sodden, melting mass of moldy putrescence? That hearty happy perfect globe disintegrates into a syrupy mess under seemingly insignificant adverse conditions.

Oh my! Maybe I am more of a pumpkin than I had thought. 

I couldn't sleep a couple of nights ago. I was tossing and turning worrying about how I could hold up the world. I am definitely one of those personalities that believe if I just try harder, life would be better and everything would be healed. But we all know that this is not true. We are not in control, much as we wish we were, and sometimes even appear to be for a season. Smiling hearty pumpkins until the frost hits.

In desperation, I flipped open my Bible. I read Galations 6:9 -

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

It says if we do not grow weary, keep plugging along in doing good, we WILL reap. Not we might reap, or if we do everything just right, we could possibly reap, but we WILL reap, if we do not give up. I was overcome by a wash of serenity, certainty, and even joy where just moments ago I had been spinning in my sheets. God's word is supernatural in its effect. I didn't ponder that truth for long though, because within seconds, I was fast asleep, dreaming of green valleys and bright orange pumpkins.

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For your mercy is before my eyes, and I am serene in your truth. (Psalm 25:3 CPDV)

Start Rebuilding

I am waiting for my wrists to heal. I can't work too long on the computer because it makes them hurt. Waiting to heal from any infirmity is not easy. Life goes on hold. What used to  be simple tasks, like unloading the dishwasher become unscalable walls. So I wear my double wrist braces and sometimes just sit, gazing into space. Most of what I do requires wrist movement, I have discovered.

I have a friend who is battling cancer. It has been a long process, and things are looking good right now, but it has not been easy. Today I noticed in her update about her radiation treatments, she closed asking if we would all pray for a friend of hers who has just been diagnosed with cancer. Here she is battling a horrific enemy, and she has the compassion and empathy to divert focus from herself to others who need help. That is a woman of God.

I am reading the book of Nehemiah right now. I love Nehemiah. He is someone who just ignores the enemy, keeps his focus on God, and keeps struggling through impossible odds. Nehemiah is not one of the well known heroes of the Bible, but he is one of my favorites. He was cupbearer to the King of Persia, during the exile of the Jews to Babylonia in the 5th century BC. He was in a position of influence and favoritism. But he was a Jew, and when he learned of the condition of his historic homeland, he asked the King's permission to return to Jerusalem, and rebuild the city and the crumbling walls surrounding it. The King grants permission. Nehemiah could have taxed the people to help with the repairs, or had special food and comfort for himself as an emissary of the King, but instead, he throws his lot in with his people and has no special favors for himself. He looks around at a ruined city, a devastated, ransacked, crumbling city and says, "Let us start building."

And then, the enemy comes while Nehemiah and his small ragtag remnant of Jews are rebuilding the walls. The enemy taunts them from just outside the wall; tries to undermine the people's faith in Nehemiah and his God. The enemy includes the armies of Samaria, and they threaten attack, urging the Jews to stop rebuilding, join the enemy, and leave this crazy leader asking help from a deity everyone knows will never rise out of their imagination to be of any true service. The people are weary, and poor, and the work seems impossible from the get go. The enemy is wearing them down. But Nehemiah then utters the rallying cry that I find myself calling out in my soul over and over when life bears down a little too violently:
The God of heaven will give us success.


The people rally, the wall is rebuilt, in an impossible 52 days. The Jews begin to trickle back to Jerusalem. The lagging faith of a beleaguered people is fanned into flame, and hope begins to rekindle in the hearts of the exiled Jews when they learn Jerusalem is rebuilt!

Meanwhile, I look at my braced wrists, and realize one thing I can do without my wrists. I can pray.

Nehemiah 2:20
I answered them by saying, "The God of heaven will give us success. We his servants will start rebuilding,

Doing Hard Things

Our queen futon arrived in a box. I hate furniture that comes in a box because it is never magical. It doesn't put itself together, and invariably the instructions that come with it are written in Chinese. Now in this case, they were in English as well, but they may have just as well been only in Chinese. Arvo was working so it was up to me to put the futon together all by myself.

I laid out all the pieces and carefully smoothed out the 6 pages of instructions. Yes, 6 pages. There were at least 50 screws and bolts. That meant 50 places where my ineptitude could result in the giant futon snapping closed like crocodile teeth upon an unsuspecting prey. The prey would likely be a loved one, as the futon was going to be the couch/slash extra bed in Asherel's bedroom. My twenty five year old
6 '4" son would no longer have to climb to the top twin size bunk bed he had slept in since he was 5. If I could somehow manage to erect this behemoth, he would be on a comfy queen futon. Now with a newly married son and wife coming home for Christmas, Anders had to sleep somewhere other than Matt's room when he arrived for a week. Asherel would relinquish her room to Anders and she would have her choice of closets or sunroom to sack out in. Thus the need for a bed that my grown eldest son could comfortably sleep in. Futon, be very scared. I am ready to attack.

I surveyed the piles on the floor. Step one. Attach left spring assembly to left wood arm. Note: be sure left spring attached to left side or may result in limb dismemberment in middle of night. 
Did it really say that? I blinked. No, that was just the mirage created by my mind that was concerned about the 50 or so steps and hundred pieces in a pile around me that would somehow miraculously become a futon.
Within less than 5 steps, I had reached an impasse. The screw holes did not line up with the screws and it was only by sheer force that Arvo was finally able to force them in place. Arvo was not totally pleased to be interrupted from his work, but I could not do this step alone. I just didn't have the strength to pierce metal barehanded like I used to.

On to step 6.
Two hours had transpired now. I ached all over, and tendinitis was creeping into my wrists. The frame was almost complete.

As hour three loomed, there was just one more step.
Step 1024: take two double L strips and gently force them into the two predrilled holes.
There were no illustrations of this step, no clues as to where the two predrilled holes were, and no indication of how to do this step. After a half hour of searching, I decided the holes they meant were in the center between the seat and the back. But the metal L was 5 inches long, and the gap between the holes when the futon was flat would be more like 8 inches. No way.

I called the customer assistance number listed on the instruction sheet, noting that below the customer assistance number was a toll free suicide prevention number.
"Hello, I have a problem assembling the queen futon you sent," I said.
"Sure dudette, what can I do to alter your universe?" said a decidedly youngish voice. He may have used different words but I could tell this was an 18 year old smoking dope in a warehouse somewhere.
"Well, I have put together the futon and it seems to work except for the last step."
"Cool! That is a requestion I can certainly help you with. I'm just chillaxin' here and my whole reason for beason is to help you, dudette."
"Well thanks, that is kind of you. So, back to the last step. Do you know that there is no diagram or illustration to help with it?"
"No! That is grody to the max."
"So maybe you could help me?"
"Absocertainly! First let me get a dig on what we are dealing with.. What is a futon?"
"You know, the couch that you can lie back and it becomes a bed."
"No dippindoodling?! That is totally rad!"
"Well yes, that last piece anyway doesn't seem to fit. It is only 5 inches long and the gap it has to span is 8 inches."
"Yeh, I hear you. When we put that sucker together here in the warehouse it takes three of us."
"Well are you sure it is the right piece?"
"Oh you don't know how many check your totem calls I get on this problemtunity."
"So what do I do? I don't have three strong young men to help me."
"Hmmm. You have to force it.  Let me cogitate on this."
I pictured smoke coming out of his ears.
"Ok, listen, do you have dynamite?"
"No..."
"Well then next best thing is just forget this step. Is anyone heavy sleeping on the futon?"
"Possibly."
"Oh, then that's not cool. Believe me, it will fit. I get someone to squeeze the seatback and seat frame together while I force that sucker in. It is made so that once it is in, it is never coming out."
"Thank you for your help. I will go see if I have any dynamite."
"Yeh, that is really the best idea.  Great chattin it up with you."
"Thanks...uh....have a nice day."



I called Arvo over and showed him the problem. Later, I went into the room to see he had wrapped a ratchet strap around the seat and back and was racheting the metal together. Then he rammed the small piece in the holes and unleashed the ratchet.
"Might want to stand back, " he said.
The piece remained in place, the futon opened and closed successfully, and I decided to hang up on the suicide prevention call.








Life is not easy.  God doesn't seem interested in easy. He seems to be interested in how we respond to hard.
If life was easy, we might not recognize the need for anyone or anything other than ourselves. I think there is a lot to be said for being unable to do things on our own.

Moses, guided by God, sent his army into battle and told them that when he raised his arms, the battle would turn in favor of the Israelites. When he became tired and his arms dropped, the battle turned against them. So friends came and supported his arms. We cannot save ourselves. The path is laid out by God and He sends others to keep us on it. When our arms are too weary from assembling the day to day struggles of life, God sends friends to support us. We are never asked to go it alone.
So totally tubular, dude.

Exodus 17: 9-13
⁹ Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.”
 ¹⁰ So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. ¹¹ As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. ¹² When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. ¹³ So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

He who Laughs

I am doing a top secret project and I can't tell you anything about it or it will spoil the surprise...but every time I look at it, I laugh. I conceived the project a few months ago and have consulted the aid of just one other informant in carrying out my task. Since then, every time I have thought of the project, I laugh. It will be several months yet before I can reveal the project, and I imagine, for several months, I will be laughing.

Laughter is good, regenerative, cleansing. Laughter blows away the shrouds of despair. Laughter makes joy bubble up from within, sometimes at most unexpected times. Laughter is contagious. Asherel has a soundtrack of laughter on her iPod. Every single time she plays it, I roll my eyes at her, but then inevitably, we are both laughing as hard as we can.

I think our next president should run on a platform of "laughter." Think how much more willingly we would all pay our taxes if we knew we would get a good laugh in return? And I mean something other than the laughable policies that are already in place. I mean real honest to goodness funny...on purpose.

I used to be a "deep" reader- reading only books that enlarged my conscience and my mind....but lately what I really want to read is something funny. It is surprising how little really funny stuff is out there. There is smut and bad language that passes for funny nowadays, but honest, clean funny is rare. (Honestly, with a little self promotion here...it is part of what I hoped to achieve with my book, I'm Listening with a Broken Ear, which it is not too late to order for Christmas, free shipping, and on sale from Amazon.... Tell all your friends.)

When Job's friends are trying to comfort him in the midst of unspeakable woes, they assure him not that his fortunes, children, or health will be restored, but that God will "fill your mouth with laughter." (Job 8:21)
They knew that laughter is indeed a God given medicine for a distraught heart. Now, laughter has its place. We are also warned in the Bible not to bring levity into a house of mourning, because it can hurt and offend. There are times when laughter should be suppressed. However, I think everyone would be better off if they embarked on a secret project like mine...one that makes them laugh every time they look at it. After all, like all gifts of the human spirit, laughter was created by God.

Psalm 126

 ¹ When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion,
   we were like those who dreamed.
² Our mouths were filled with laughter,
   our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
   “The LORD has done great things for them.”
³ The LORD has done great things for us,
   and we are filled with joy.

Check the Roof

When we dropped our friend off at his house after Gavel Club, he said, "Where's my notebook?" Then with a sickening sinking of his heart, he realized he had put the notebook on top of the car while evading the attacks of a younger boy who had never been taught the meaning of "Stop." As a result, the notebook was likely somewhere on the road between Gavel Club and his home.

Arvo and I had done that once, when we lived in California. We had taken our clothes to a laundromat and then while getting in the car, stopped to chat with someone. Arvo put the basket of clothes atop the car while we chatted. When we finished our conversation, we got in the car and drove home. Lots of people honked at us as we drove. Finally, Arvo realized the clothes were not in the car, and reached his hand to the roof. Ah...there they were! Another person honked wildly, pointing to our roof, and Arvo delivered perhaps the best line he has ever uttered,
"What's the matter? Haven't you ever heard of a car wash?"

When we got home from Gavel Club, my sister had sent me a "Spiritual Gifts Inventory." This 74 question document was supposed to reveal the gifts God has blessed me with so that I could be a mighty spiritual warrior in His kingdom. I really don't like self-analysis tests at all because they are predicated on two impossible premises:
1. That any of us are self aware and have hearts that are not continually self deceived, and
2. That we would be honest if the answer might reveal something we are ashamed of

For example, take the following trick question, "Do you seek opportunities to help others in need?"
It is clear what the Godly person would answer. But honestly, they needed to define their terms better. I could sincerely check off the box if by "seek" they mean, when you see a homeless person on the corner, you hand him a pre-made homeless person bag of food that you have stored in your car unless your teenager raids it in a fit of starvation which teens are prone to. However, if by "seek" they mean- do I drive around looking for homeless people to hand homeless people food bags to, well, then, no. I don't seek opportunities. So I checked the middle score. But was I being fair? Wasn't it seeking opportunity by having the prepared homeless food bag in the car in the first place? I erased the middle ground score and gave myself a higher score. But then, really, didn't I myself raid the homeless food bag when I was starving and wasn't it partially for selfish intent that I kept a stash of homeless food bags in the car? I erased my high score and gave myself the lowest score.

And then come those series of questions about inviting and entertaining people in your home. These questions aren't fair at all. It is too obvious that they are fishing for some proof that I lack the gift of hospitality, but who wants to own up to that? Besides, there is no place on the document where you can explain yourself. Nowhere does it ask, "If you had a home filled with beautiful furniture not buried under 6 inches of dog hair, and more in your refrigerator to offer guests besides homemade dill pickles and boxed wine, would you love inviting and entertaining guests?" My answer might be quite different given that caveat. Still, since it was a spiritual inventory, I decided to strive for brutal honesty. I checked the lowest score. Then I spent the rest of the day depressed because I felt like scum of the earth.

Oh, but then came the questions I could give myself the highest score on. Every single question about creativity I could honestly check off the top score of 5. I may be inhospitable, but I am creative about it!
Ohoh. Here come the faith questions. Honestly, I consider myself a faith filled individual but these questions were posed in such a way, that Jesus Himself was the only one that could pass. Every question was spent in agonizing introspection. I was smart enough to know what the question revealed, and then had to argue both sides in my defense nearly every time. I could envision God tapping His toe and pointing to His watch as I deliberated carefully over each answer.
"Do I pray for hours and days on end?"
Are they serious? Do they mean non-stop or cumulative snippets throughout the day?
"Do I fast regularly?"
Again, define your terms. I fast between meals. I rarely snack. That deserves some commendation in today's ready food society, don't you think?
And so on.

Then I scored my inventory. My highest score was evangelism! One of my lowest was faith. It would appear that I love to tell others about a God I apparently have some doubts about. Number two gift, close on the heels of evangelism, was "creative communication" and "encouragement". Ok, I agree on those ones. And third highest was wisdom and discernment. Worst score? No surprises here- hospitality. Well now, if you put all this together, given that I am wise and discerning, there must be a problem with hospitality that the less wise and less discerning don't know about. This is the only way I can live with my despicable, inhospitable self.  But that relatively low score on faith really bugged me. So I looked back on the questions that determined my lack of faith. First of all, there were only 4 questions. That in itself is a significant problem. 4 questions to assess something so critical as faith? And what were those questions that put me on the same ladder rung as Idi Amin.
"I love to take on challenging assignments in ministry because I know God will work things out in His own way."
Again, TRICK question! I would give myself a 5 on the end part but a 1 on the first part. So I gave myself a middle score.
Question 2 on faith-
"I don't tend to worry about material things because I believe God will take care of all I really need."
AMBIGUOUS!!! If you strike the word "worry" form the question, I score a 5. But any question with "tend not to worry" as part of it automatically disqualifies me from a score beyond 2, and even that is a stretch. Worry is unfaithful? This really worries me.
Question 3 on faith:
"When a situation seems impossible, I turned my concern over to God and experienced a wonderful peace, even when things didn't suddenly change."
All of that question was true for me except "wonderful peace", so I gave myself the next to highest score. Some might argue "wonderful peace" was the most important part of that sentence, but then I would have a lower faith score than I already have so I am sticking with my score.
Last question on faith:
"I enjoy praying with friends on a regular basis."
Tell me why this is under the category faith, and not intercession? And once again, this is a two or even three part question. Part 1: I enjoy praying ( highest score- I really do love to pray), part 2: with friends (very unbiblical question, what about how we are supposed to go pray in a closet? Lowest score but under protest), Part 3: on a regular basis- (undefined, fuzzy terms- what is meant by regular? middle score)

I threw the Inventory down in disgust. Am I really driving the road to God with my faith precariously balanced atop the car, along with hospitality? Don't all the other gifts rest on that bedrock? Shouldn't they be in the car with me?

I got a text message from my friend while I was ripping up the inventory.
"Found the notebook. All is well."

3 John 1:7-9

⁷ It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. ⁸ We ought therefore to show hospitality to such people so that we may work together for the truth.

Psalm 119:30

³⁰ I have chosen the way of faithfulness

Straight Hair

If we shaved Asherel's head, we would have enough hair to cover 3 normal girls and maybe a small pony. The reason I know this is that I spent an hour straightening her corkscrew shoulder length curls. She has an agility dog trial for the next two days, and the more she runs, the more her thick hair curls and puffs. By the end of a typical agility day, she has hair so voluminous and broad in its range that it sometimes trips the dogs in the adjacent ring. She also has a strong, and inexplicable aversion to barrettes, headbands, pony tails, braids, bobby pins, or any other hair restraining device known to human kind. So she requested I straighten her hair, and she hoped it would stay that way for the next two days. She claims straight hair is "not so annoying."

She fortified herself with a cup of goldfish crackers at her side, and on the table in front of her, the art contest work she is laboring night and day to complete before the deadline. I came armed with a huge round brush, several hair clips, a large high power curling iron, and smooth silky hair serum. Her hair is so recalcitrantly curly that I have to go through it not once, but three times with the curling iron, or those persistent kinks still broing out of control.

Since she had specifically requested I do this, I did not get the typical complaining, eye rolling, and "when will we be done" mantra repeated till my eardrums were permanently distorted by the sound waves of that phrase. Additionally, I knew that I was amassing enough good works in her eyes that I would be able to have her pose for a photograph when I was done. I did get some eye rolls when I told her it was time for her photo, but she ultimately acquiesced and smiled. When I finally finished, her hair was smooth and silky and luxuriously thick. I love her curly hair, but she did look gorgeous with her sleek and shiny straight locks.

And as she disappeared and I put away the curling iron, the large round brush, the hairdryer, the four hair clips, the shiny styling serum, and the cracker box, I wondered why curly haired people always want straight hair, and straight haired people always want curls. Are we all doomed forever to wanting what we cannot have, and then struggling to fit in places we were never meant to be? If one word only could be used to describe the human race, I think it would have to be: dissatisfaction.  I know this for a fact. When I was young, my hair was straight. I wanted curls. When it was short, I wanted it long. When I hit adolescence, it became curly. I wanted it straight. I grew it long and I wanted it short. When I had bangs, I wanted sideswept chin scraping hair instead. When I had sideswept chin scraping hair, I wanted bangs.

I cannot think of a single time in the Bible when Jesus reported being unhappy with His hair, or His looks, or His circumstances. Even when confronted with the Cross, He only said, "If it be your will, take this cup from me." This is an exceedingly mild request to His Father, and honestly, doesn't hold a candle to the circumstances I typically complain about. If anyone had a reason to complain, He did. But He didn't. Do you know that the word "uncomplaining" doesn't occur at all in the Bible, but complaining or grumbling at least 75 times? This ought to tell us something, and frankly, makes me a little ashamed.

There is a secret to contentment. I am certain of it. I am equally certain, I am not going to find it looking in the mirror, straightening the misplaced hairs.

Exodus 16:6-8

 ⁶ So Moses and Aaron said to all the Israelites, “In the evening you will know that it was the LORD who brought you out of Egypt, ⁷ and in the morning you will see the glory of the LORD, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Who are we, that you should grumble against us?” ⁸ Moses also said, “You will know that it was the LORD when he gives you meat to eat in the evening and all the bread you want in the morning, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Who are we? You are not grumbling against us, but against the LORD.”

Job 36:11
¹¹ If they obey and serve him,
   they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity
   and their years in contentment.

A Sunset that Paints its Own Colors

Asherel and I have an ongoing battle. She is doing a beautiful but very time consuming art work for the NRA Wildlife contest. It is due in three weeks. She has been working on it since early summer, but despite my wise counsel, she didn't put in as many hours over the summer as I suggested. I warned her that 9th grade was going to be busy, and she would not have much time to devote to the lovely project once the school year began. Lo and Behold, as she should know by now, the Mother was right. Children everywhere, save yourself the energy of eternally challenging this fact: Mothers are always right.

At any rate, she has far more than three weeks worth of tedious work on this art work, in my opinion. She insists she can finish in time. I have tried to suggest some time saving techniques, that I believe would produce equally lovely effects. No, she refuses to compromise her standards. If it isn't done in time, it isn't done. She won't do something less than what she feels is the called for optimal artistic decisions.

I suppose, in some ways, it is like me suggesting to God that perhaps a little more magenta and a little less orange is needed in the optimal sunset. In the end, the Creator really should make the decisions on how the creation ought to look. As a creative person myself, I am a little astounded when I think of God's courage in giving His creation free will. Now I know already what my dad is ranting and raving about as he reads those words. We have had a thousand or so discussions about " free will vs. predetermination".  For now Dad, suspend your thoughts about all that, and let's just suppose for the sake of the rest of the story that free will does exist and it was ordained by God. (If necessary, take an extra blood pressure pill.)

In that case, it is like me giving the power to my painting to suddenly sprout a mouth and say, "Hey wait a minute! You stink! Why don't you take a few more drawing lessons, turkey?! Why are you making me that color with that shape? And you call yourself an artist? Gimme a break. I don't need you. Get lost!"

It seems ridiculous in that context...but that is what I do to God over and over again.
Hey! Why did you put me in this stupid situation?
How could you expect anyone to be patient, kind, or loving with the jerks you plopped me in the middle of?
How do you expect me to carry our your will when I'd have to give up all that pile of desires over there?
Why are you doing this to me? I deserve better!
This is the thanks I get for carrying out your commands?
ETC.

Fortunately, God is used to His creations that talk back. When Moses was leading the grumbly Israelites to the promised land, their incessant complaining finally overcame him.
 He cried out in angry despair, telling God ,"You gave me a bunch of whiney babies, and then expect me to lead them for forty miserable years. You have given me a burden that is too heavy. Just kill me now!"
But God doesn't kill Moses. Rather than chastise Moses, or ask him how he dare question the wisdom of His Creator, He gently calms Moses down, and promises to immediately send him seventy helpers to share a portion of the burden. He allows the sunset to paint its own color, in a sense.

Asherel finished the tail of the wolf. It looks so real, I feel like I could reach out and stroke the soft fur. Ok, maybe sometimes mothers aren't right. The creator probably knows best the direction to guide her creation.


Numbers 11: 10-17
¹⁰ Moses heard the people of every family wailing at the entrance to their tents. The LORD became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled. ¹¹ He asked the LORD, “Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? ¹² Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their ancestors? ¹³ Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ ¹⁴ I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. ¹⁵ If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin.”  ¹⁶ The LORD said to Moses: “Bring me seventy of Israel’s elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people. Have them come to the tent of meeting, that they may stand there with you. ¹⁷ I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.

Sharing in Troubles

While slicing my homemade bread, I inadvertently sliced open a finger and my thumb. I just hate it when that happens. I hurried to wrap bandages on the two fairly deep and throbbing cuts, and began to feel very sorry for myself. No one was even home to give me pity. Remaining optimistic is a moment by moment thing for me. It is so easy to let the little sliced open fingers of life pull me into a funk.

I ran into a friend at the grocery store that I haven't seen in months. She is one of those friends who no matter how many moons have slid into the ocean since last talking with me, we always start back in with conversation as though we had just seen each other yesterday. She was feeling stressed with life. Too much to do, too little time, too little reward. And yet, she told me, for now, if this is where God wanted her to be, then she would remember that pleasing Him was the most important thing for her to keep her focus on. We talked a long time, while the cashier glared at us. My friend had just finished checking out, and her cart was pulled out of the immediate way of exiting customers, but they did have to stream around us. We were rocks impeding the swift flow of the grocery clients out of the store and the cashier was clearly annoyed. My friend and I stood there for a half hour, talking about keeping our focus on pleasing God, not men. This was a good thing to keep our focus on, since now the customers and the cashier were shooting dagger looks at this chatty duo making them walk ten extra steps to veer around them.

"But it is day by day for me," said my friend, "I keep thinking if God would just put me in a better job, I wouldn't have all these temptations of anger and stress! But for now, this is where He seems to want me. And so each day, I find myself blowing it, and having to pray to God for forgiveness and strength."
I laughed, "It is moment by moment for me!"
And I went away encouraged by my friend, and her reliance on God. I felt buoyed by her reminder of where my focus should be. Then I sliced my fingers open, and my focus was on the pain and trouble again.

Philippians 4:
¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.  ¹⁴ Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.

Deuteronomy 11:
⁸ Observe therefore all the commands I am giving you today, so that you may have the strength to go in and take over the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, ⁹ and so that you may live long in the land the LORD swore to your ancestors to give to them and their descendants, a land flowing with milk and honey.