He who Laughs

I am doing a top secret project and I can't tell you anything about it or it will spoil the surprise...but every time I look at it, I laugh. I conceived the project a few months ago and have consulted the aid of just one other informant in carrying out my task. Since then, every time I have thought of the project, I laugh. It will be several months yet before I can reveal the project, and I imagine, for several months, I will be laughing.

Laughter is good, regenerative, cleansing. Laughter blows away the shrouds of despair. Laughter makes joy bubble up from within, sometimes at most unexpected times. Laughter is contagious. Asherel has a soundtrack of laughter on her iPod. Every single time she plays it, I roll my eyes at her, but then inevitably, we are both laughing as hard as we can.

I think our next president should run on a platform of "laughter." Think how much more willingly we would all pay our taxes if we knew we would get a good laugh in return? And I mean something other than the laughable policies that are already in place. I mean real honest to goodness funny...on purpose.

I used to be a "deep" reader- reading only books that enlarged my conscience and my mind....but lately what I really want to read is something funny. It is surprising how little really funny stuff is out there. There is smut and bad language that passes for funny nowadays, but honest, clean funny is rare. (Honestly, with a little self promotion here...it is part of what I hoped to achieve with my book, I'm Listening with a Broken Ear, which it is not too late to order for Christmas, free shipping, and on sale from Amazon.... Tell all your friends.)

When Job's friends are trying to comfort him in the midst of unspeakable woes, they assure him not that his fortunes, children, or health will be restored, but that God will "fill your mouth with laughter." (Job 8:21)
They knew that laughter is indeed a God given medicine for a distraught heart. Now, laughter has its place. We are also warned in the Bible not to bring levity into a house of mourning, because it can hurt and offend. There are times when laughter should be suppressed. However, I think everyone would be better off if they embarked on a secret project like mine...one that makes them laugh every time they look at it. After all, like all gifts of the human spirit, laughter was created by God.

Psalm 126

 ¹ When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion,
   we were like those who dreamed.
² Our mouths were filled with laughter,
   our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
   “The LORD has done great things for them.”
³ The LORD has done great things for us,
   and we are filled with joy.

You ain't nothin but a hound dog......

Our team will be howling in the opening Ceremony of the NC State Science Olympiad tonight wearing duct tape hound dog ears. Our team, the Science Hounds, needed a fun, easy way to show team spirit. Of course, my daughter, the duct tape queen suggested duct tape dog ears. The girl who is reduced to blubbering tears when I tell her she is required to wear a dress for church on Easter will not only be proudly sporting duck tape dog ears, but decorated hers with little bows.

You can not imagine the horror with which she recoils from me should I approach her with a barrette, or a blouse with a tiny ruffle at the neck. But hound dog ears of duct tape with little bows on the top? Bring em on!

And the entire team will be gathering before the ceremony with their own rolls of duct tape and scissors while the Duct Tape Queen instructs them in the fine art of hound dog ear construction. The team is taking it very seriously. The number of emails exchanged over the various questions, facts, etc. regarding the duct tape ears far exceeded any emails about the actual competition that is presumably the reason we will all be there. One email even said that the mom had been unable to buy the duct tape as her other daughter was in the ICU and had almost died....could her daughter share duct tape with someone? (The poor girl in ICU is doing better but it was apparently very scary for a while there.)
I can tell you, I would not have had the presence of mind to worry about the duct tape ears in that situation.

There were emails about ripping vs. cutting with scissors, what were the best kind of scissors, what colors, should there be two colors indicating inner/outer ear, would it rip out hair, when would be the best time to make the ears, should there be a group buy or should each choose their own, and so on and on.....

If the team put this much time and thought into their science olympiad events, we are going to win for sure. It put things in a bit of perspective for me on the eve of a contest that could make me a mass of jangled nerves if I run true to form. For the kids, this is a celebration. An excuse for a gathering of a bunch of really nice, fun, smart kids to stay in a hotel, splash in a pool, and wear goofy ears. They have spent a year working and finally succeeding on very difficult tasks. Only a small number of kids will walk away with awards, and it is so important to keep that all in mind. It was really all that went before Saturday's contest that matters.  Regardless of what happens Saturday at the contest, our team will walk away smiling, arms around each other, flapping duct tape dog ears.

Job 8:21
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.

PS_ tomorrow morning will be a flurry of early mayhem and rushing. It is highly likely I will not get a post out but will update as soon as able!

Death Adders and Fish Stories

Comer, Eveylyn and I sat on the bench facing the lake watching the fisherman.
"I have a fish story but no one believes it ," Comer said,
Well isn't that the nature of all fish stories, I thought.
"Oh tell it!" I said.
"Well, ok, but you aren't going to believe it."

It didn't matter anyway whether I believed it or not. What I did believe in was the healing caress of the sun as it bathed their old wrinkled faces, Evelyn's crinkled in a smile as she listened to Comer's story. She nestled her hand in the crook of his elbow, and then watched the Canada goose on the shore. She giggled when Comer acted out some of the funny parts. It was hard to believe that in an hour she would have to be returned to the Alzheimer unit.

"So the next day we checked the trap," continued Comer,"And there was a catfish as big as you! 95 pounds it weighed! We had to kill it with an ax."

This is actually not too unbelievable. There have been  documented catches of some catfish as big as 350 pounds. Most of these live downriver from nuclear plants.

"And did I tell you about gigging for bullfrogs?"
"Gigging?"
"Yes, didn't you ever gig for bullfrogs?"
"No....what would you do with them after you gigged them?"
"Eat them!"
"Raw?"
"Oh, no, we fried their legs."
"Did they taste like chicken?"  Evelyn giggled.
"OH better!"
I made a face. "Evelyn," I asked, "Did you ever eat bullfrog legs."
"No!" she cried.
"Yes you did!" said Comer.
Some memories I don't blame her for losing.

"Did I ever tell you about the death adders in Papua New Guinea?"
"I hope it didn't bite you."
"No, if it did I wouldn't be here. One bite and you are dead before you hit the ground."
"Well, ok, tell me."
"Well, I was there with the army, and a friend and I went out walking. But the friend had two cats. Strange cats with big heads from the area. He told me we were to always under all circumstances STAY BEHIND THE CATS. And if the cats stopped, we were to stop. And he told me don't you even think of moving if the cat stops. So we set out, and one cat stopped."
"Please tell me you stopped too," I begged.
"You bet I did! And then the other cat stopped. And then there was this ferocious scuffling and explosion of movement, and the cat comes trotting back with the death adder in its mouth."
"Was it dead?"
"Oh yes, the cats were experts in killing them. And then my friend must have seen what I was thinking because he said,'Now we go back step by step, slowly, no running, just like we came down here, following the cats."

I cannot help but remember the Bible account of the Israelites in the Wilderness following God, who came as a cloud by day, and a pillar of fire by night to lead them. Their survival depended on following that cloud. It was God who preserved them those 40 years, sending them water from rocks, and manna from heaven. Woe to any who decided to step away from the safety He provided as they went through that treacherous, barren land. And it is the same today, though perhaps He isn't leading with clouds and fire. I smiled to know that not only do we have His Bible, His Holy Spirit, and our own convicting conscience..... but sometimes He even sends cats.

We headed reluctantly back and passed miles and miles of peach trees all in bloom stretching to the horizon.
"I have never seen that!" I said, with delight. The lake is one we hike around in the fall, or kayak on in the summer, but I guess I had never seen it in the spring. Funny how sometimes those in the winter of life can bring a season us younger folk might otherwise have overlooked.

Later I recounted Comer's stories to Asherel, who laughed with me.  I thought of Comer looking so delighted when I said we would try to make Thursdays our outing day.
"It's easy to forget there is a beautiful world out there when I am in here," he said after we dropped Evelyn off, "Anything I have scheduled for Thursdays, anything, I will cancel when you call!"

I glanced heavenward, and echoed the sentiment to the leader by cloud and cat.

Nehemiah 9:18-20

¹⁸ even when they cast for themselves an image of a calf and said, ‘This is your god, who brought you up out of Egypt,’ or when they committed awful blasphemies.
 ¹⁹ “Because of your great compassion you did not abandon them in the wilderness. By day the pillar of cloud did not fail to guide them on their path, nor the pillar of fire by night to shine on the way they were to take. ²⁰ You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst.

The Desert blooms

"When did all these trees bloom!" asked Asherel as we headed off on our daily dog walk.
I smiled and looked around.
"Look, our daffodils and forsythia are blooming too!"

I think our ski trip planned for next week is in jeopardy.

All of a sudden, all of spring had sprung in its glorious profusion. Blooms and blossoms dangled from shoots and limbs. When did all these trees bloom?

We were at the group birthday party for our old neighbor in the Alzheimer unit yesterday, Asherel had come with me. The entire unit was invited to come share cake and sing to Evelyn. One lady kept repeating to the man next to her, "This birthday is not our birthday."
But my favorite moment was when an elderly gentleman with a walker came strolling closer and closer to Asherel and me. He was peering intently at Asherel, and then stopped a foot in front of her.
He stared at her and then turned to sit down, saying, "What a cutie!"

"You better watch out," I whispered, "You're getting hit on by the residents here."

I glanced at her, poised and smiling. Helping serve cake to the residents in varying degrees of mental deterioration. Being kind in a rather sad and difficult place.

When did my daughter burst into bloom?

I love the words of Isaiah, as he comforts his people with the promises of a day when struggles will cease, and the weary hearts will be renewed. He reminds them with the imagery of a barren desert suddenly bursting into bloom. Sometimes the dry spell is interminable, and the thirst overwhelming. The fatigue as one crawls across biting hot sand finally topples even the strongest. But God promises that suddenly, out of nowhere, the dry cactus will blossom, the parched land will be watered, and the broken hearts mended.

Until that day, He gives us Spring to remind us. And a beautiful daughter steadily growing in grace.

Isaiah 35

Joy of the Redeemed

 ¹ The desert and the parched land will be glad;
   the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, ² it will burst into bloom;
   it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.
The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,
   the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;
they will see the glory of the LORD,
   the splendor of our God.  ³ Strengthen the feeble hands,
   steady the knees that give way;
⁴ say to those with fearful hearts,
   “Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
   he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
   he will come to save you.”

Full Circle

"I am tempted to wear the fish dress," I told my sisters, "Though do you think I will need something other than running shoes for a semi-formal event?" My memory stretched back to a year ago, when a shockingly similar scenario was snapping at my shoes. (Alliteration is a dangerous weapon in the hands of an amateur.)

Today is the one year anniversary of my quest to post a message from God every morning. I did it. I didn't miss a single day, though some posts were delayed til I could find internet zones. Through sleet, or snow, or hail, or rain, I delivered the packages of hope, encouragement, and laughter that God handed me all neatly tied up with a heavenly strand of love. I had started the blog because an editor wanted me to show I could develop a following, a readership, that would bode well for him taking a chance on a nobody's book. (That agent is still considering my book now that it has gone through a year of revisions. Publishing is not for the lazy.) But pretty soon, I was writing for a different reason. Emails started trickling in from readers who found that my struggles and bits of comfort that God threw my way were helping them in similar struggles. Who knew there was anyone out there as messed up as me?

A year ago, as I started to chronicle my life, I had a toenail ripped off my big toe, and had to find shoes for my husband's semi-formal Christmas party. I never found any that didn't cause excruciating pain, and settled on boots in the end. Most of that evening, I had my boots off and my foot elevated.

This year, I have a broken little toe that xrays show as healed, but the pain and swelling remain. As I was pulling out some very fancy dresses my sister Amy sent me years ago which I have never had anything formal enough to wear to, I realized I might have to wear footwear other than sneakers.

The "fish" dress is sequined from head to toe, and subtlety was not what the famous designer was going for. The dress had to have been a near $1000 dress when it was fresh off the rack. My sister Amy is the uber-shopper, finding incredible deals along off-beaten paths, and we are often the recipients of her finds. I am small, so not a middle size that gets snatched up, and so the gorgeous fish dress has hung in my closet for three or four years now, awaiting an event where loud screaming attire is called for.  She also sent a full length green velvet gown, that is exquisite and feels like warm butter poured gently over every pore of my dried rhinoceros skin. I love it, but again..... where does one wear such a dress? Not to clean the toilets, I am pretty sure.

Did I dare to wear either one to the xmas dinner/party?  I put each dress on, and pulled out a lovely fairly low heeled metallic silver sandal I had bought only 10 months early for my son's wedding. They hurt just a little, which in the fancy shoe world is saying a lot. Then I had Asherel take my picture in each and sent it to my sisters and fashion advisers, Holly and Amy.

"Which should I wear to the xmas party?" I queried, "And answer fast- the party is Saturday night."
Amy voted instantly for the fish dress, "When else are you ever going to wear it?"
Now by this logic, if she sends me a full scuba diving outfit, I will have to wear it to the party next year cause I assure you I am not ever going to go scuba diving where sharks and blue ringed octopus prowl.
"How loud are the scales...er sequins?" asked Holly.
"Loud," I answered.
"Well you CANNOT wear those sandals with the fish dress. Too much! You need understated black strappy things with high heels."
"I can't go buy more shoes," I said, "And I can't wear my high heeled black shoes. My broken toe is in agony in those shoes."
"Well," she countered,"My vote is for the green velvet, but it is formal. If this is a semi-formal event, you will be overdressed."
"Well won't my sneakers bring the total formal quotient down to semi-formal?" I asked.
"You need to find a friend to cut off the hem to tea length. Hurry, you still have hours!"

I considered all the advice I was receiving. On one hand, I was with Amy- the fish dress was gorgeous. If I were a fish, for sure I would be comfortable wearing it. Or perhaps if I ever win Novelist of the Year award, but first I probably have to publish a novel.  So, when will I ever wear it?

But the velvet dress was gorgeous too, and I am a seamstress at least as accomplished as I am a helicopter builder. I could cut it and hem it to tea length. It was almost dinner time, so I grabbed scissors and eyeballed where I needed to hem it. How hard could this be? I hacked off six inches, hemmed it, and was astonished to find that the hem was even and straight, and now the dress fit the semi-formal category. The silver shoes were perfect with it. I hung the fish dress back at the far edge of my closet.
"Look," I consoled the dress, "Your day will come. When my book gets published and I win all the awards, you are my go-to dress."


A year ago, I think my message over my fashion/shoe woes was along the lines of God accepts all of us no matter what we wear. But I think He is pointing me in a new direction.  The dress choice really was unimportant.... I was just baiting my sisters so I could exchange emails, and laugh, and remember that when we take life too seriously, it loses its sparkle.....its sequins fall off. Most of what I have found to write about over the past year are not the unusual or amazing things that happen in life.... because rarely do either of those occur to me. What I love to write about are the funny things, the moments of laughter that are always lurking even on the edges of despair. I am blessed to have sisters and parents and family and friends that laugh with me.  God's greatest gift to us is Salvation, but I think His second greatest is laughter.

Job 29:23-25 (New International Version, ©2010)

²³ They waited for me as for showers
   and drank in my words as the spring rain.
²⁴ When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it;
   the light of my face was precious to them.