Daylight Saving

Just when we get to sleep in until the sun actually catches up to our circadian rhythms, just when we reach the point where we can be gently nudged awake by singing birds and warm sunlight that has penetrated the darkness, just when the soft scent of flowers golden in our minds meld in perfect unity with the golden morning sun that is appearing at just the right time in our dreams..... daylight saving time invades our peace.

I hate the springing forward, especially when we have a busy and early weekend. I don't mind the falling back as much. In my ongoing quest to learn as much about the world I live in in its meaningless minutia, I researched daylight saving time, and found out some very interesting facts. First of all, half of the entries on the internet incorrectly call it "Daylight Savings Time" as though it were a bank deposit. I would laugh heartily about this except that I too call it daylight savings time and am being constantly corrected by my children.

It has been a source of controversy since being instituted in the early 1900s. It was concocted as a way to save on energy costs, but most studies seem to indicate it probably has little if any net effect on energy cost. So why do we do it?

It has many unintended consequences. Since Amtrak must always run on time, do you know that at 2 a.m. when the time changes, the trains just stop, and sit where they are on the tracks for an hour so they will still arrive on time in the time change of October? So what do they do in the spring, when they have to leap ahead? They all open the throttle as far as they can go and whiz across the country, smashing cows and chickens all along the way, trying to make up the time. This is not a lie!

However, I love how daylight saving time messes with the minds of terrorists. In 1999, the West Bank was still on standard time when the rest of Israel switched to daylight saving time. Someone forgot to inform the terrorists however, and they set their bombs to detonate on standard time, then sent them over to the terrorists receiving the bombs on the Israeli side. The terrorists misunderstood the timing on the bomb, and the bombs exploded while the terrorists were transporting them, instead of killing innocent Israelis on the morning commute bus. The last words of the terrorists as they saw the spark ignite was, "Spring forward, fall back!!!!! Fiddlesticks!"   That last word may have been more harsh but it is hard to know with precision what phonemes are uttered during sound waves of 180 decibels of exploding dynamite.

I suppose I should be thankful. This useless practice will not occur til Sunday morning. This is a blessing since Saturday morning we have to leave the house at 7 a.m. to go fly helicopters and fling projectiles in our Science Olympiad competition. On the other hand, we will be robbed of our last morning of what the Amish call "slow time". And really, it isn't daylight that needs saving. It is us. I am with the Amish- it is us, our souls, our feverish march into a frenzied , earlier day that needs saving..

The book of Matthew reminds us that worry is useless since none of us can add a single hour to our life by worrying. Yes we can.... we can add an hour by abolishing Daylight Saving Time! I think as soon as we have finished flying our helicopters and flinging our projectiles at the Science Olympiad contest, we should all  march onWashington and see if we can retrieve that stolen hour. First, synchronize your watches. Let's all meet at the Amtrak station at 6 a.m. but be careful near the tracks. The trains will be flying at the speed of sound to try to make up that hour so be sure you have put on lots of hairspray.


Matthew 6:27, 33-34
²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
 ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.