When I am Weak

As we were driving, I heard a somewhat frightening clunk on top of the car and glanced in my side view mirror. Ohoh. I could see the edge of the kayak hovering over the top of my side window. That can't be good.

I pulled over to discover that the kayak had indeed slipped. I don't think it could've outright fallen off the car, but was disturbed that my fool proof tie down method had proved to only be fool resistant. There always seem to be ways for fools to creep in.

With the kayak again tied securely with my ultra fool proof method, we started on our way again. But every bump or clatter or scritch sound made me jump and eye my mirror, the whites of my eyes gleaming. On top of my anxiety as we headed to the peaceful lake with Asherel and her friend, I had pulled an intercostal muscle hoisting the kayaks on top of the van. Normally one is completely unaware of intercostal muscles, and I would bet 90% of my readers don't know what an intercostal muscle is or why we have it. We have it so that God can remind us that 50+ year old ladies should not be hoisting kayaks on top of tall vans, even with the help of 13 year olds. I may be facing the sobering reality that most of us reach eventually. My body may not be up to the task.

Amy, my sister fresh out of the hospital after a week of pancreatitis texted me early this morning. She didn't wake me up, even though it was only 5:30 a.m. and my text notification ringer was on high volume. I was awake already with aching intercostal muscles, reminding me I am no longer 23 years old. The text told me she was back in the hospital. She has a cyst on her pancreas and she will be operated on, I presume today. She says this just sometimes happens after pancreatitis. She will update me as they know more details.

Suddenly my aching intercostal muscles don't feel so bad. Those of you who are of the prayerful variety, if you would please pray for my poor dear sister, I would appreciate it.

As I kayaked on the peaceful lake, gliding so quietly to basking turtles on sunlit logs that they didn't take fright, I realized that I just may have to forego the heavier hard body kayak. I am still strong enough to handle the inflatable one. Friends can lift the hard shell ones on top of the van if they want to join us. Someday, friends may need to lift me when I can't stand up on my own power. This lesson of waning strength and failing bodies is beginning to threaten my normally sunny disposition.

The apostle Paul mentions many times that God's strength is perfected in our weakness. It is He that lifts us up, renews and restores. His power is most clearly revealed, most ardently called upon when intercostal muscles tear and pancreases swell. Anyone can deal with life when everything is perfect. It is a whole different story when it all gets shredded. I am so glad that I can hop in His kayak, and float in His strength when I can no longer lift the paddle myself.

Amy's hubby Jim just texted me. It is a "psuedo cyst" and will need draining, but it is minor surgery. I am hoping my intercostal aches and grey hair and waning strength is "psuedo aging" and also will just require minor alterations.

1 Chronicles 16:10-12 (New International Version)

¹⁰ Glory in his holy name;
   let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
¹¹ Look to the LORD and his strength;
   seek his face always.