A True Peer

Our little goodwill ambassador sat in the kayak with her lopsided ears perked forward. People in other kayaks floated by and everyone smiled. There is something about a dog in a boat that produces happiness. You don't often see dogs in kayaks. We headed to our favorite swimming sandbar with Honeybun perched in front. One small boy and his mother bobbed on their kayaks by the sandbar where we always moor.

"I am entirely waterproof," said the boy, "From head to toe everything I am wearing is waterproof."
"That's good since you are in the water," I said. I could tell within 3 words from his mouth that this child was a genius, and probably had some extra labels thrown in as well. As an Occupational Therapist in my life before homeschooling, I had worked with many gifted children with varying disabilities, including autism and Aspergers- the spectrum of autism of the genius with few social skills. Besides that, having a genius as an oldest son, my radar for genius is finely tuned. Even the cadence of speech seems to give them away. There are a whole host of issues with any difference in intellect from the norm. I knew it from my work, and I knew it from my life with my own son. Much of it is wonderful, but much of it is very, very hard.

"And would you like to see my shell I found? It has shades of purple in it," said the boy.
"I'd love to," I said, taking the shell from his outstretched hand.
Then he turned and disappeared under water and splashed off to pet Honeybun.

His mom began chatting with me, and soon was telling me her woes about finding a school that fit the needs of her son.
"He was just diagnosed with Aspergers," she said. I could see she was still reeling from that news.
"Is it hard to find him friends?" I asked.
She nodded vigorously, "I thought in a smaller school setting he might do better."
"Well, I have a son who is now graduated from college, but he is a genius, and finding true peers for him was one of the hardest parts of growing up for him. I prayed and prayed about it, and he always managed to have one good friend nearby. If you can help him find one really good friend he can relate to, it might help him alot. How old is he?"
"Nine years old today!" she said, smiling at her son. It spoke volumes that this 9 year old was celebrating his birthday without a friend in sight....just him and his mom.

"Did your son go to college....graduate.....and now.....Is he ok now?"
I could hear the depth of worry in this devoted mother's voice, starting off this uncharted journey with a 9 year old that most people didn't understand, and was already on a road to isolation.
"Yes," I said, "And in college he did find true peers. He loved it there. He works in a business he helped start, and has a wonderful girl friend. He is happy now and doing well."
"I am so happy to hear that," she said, sighing, "It gives me hope."
"Try to find him a friend," I encouraged her, "Someone of his intellect who accepts him. Just one is enough."

We talked quite a while, and then she told the boy it was time to head back. Without a moment's hesitation the boy pulled his kayak off the sandbar, settled in place, and headed down stream.
"Well??? " he called back to his mother, "You said it was time to go. I am going."
She stopped her chatting with me abruptly and said, "He's always so literal."
I watched them kayak away, and said a little prayer for the journey of joy and heartache those two were on.

I remember hearing a show on the radio once of a mother with a genius child who was sadly telling the Christian host, "I just want him to have a friend."
"He always has a friend in Jesus," said the host gently.
"I was hoping for someone closer to his age," said the mother.

I suspect Jesus would be hoping for the same.

Honeybun sat back in the kayak as we started back upriver to our car. Invariably, every kayaker that passed us said, "Oh look! There's a dog in that kayak!"  Asherel was paddling a little slower against the current than she had on the downriver trip earlier. Honeybun wriggled and seemed anxious to get back to fresh cold water and dogfood and AC.
Being different can be a good thing....but sometimes there are spots of upstream struggle along the way.

Romans 15:
 ³⁰ I urge you, brothers and sisters, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.