Pigs

Pigs are almost as misunderstood as snakes, with less reason since everyone knows snakes are slimy, disgusting, scary creatures with red eyes that swallow you whole if you leave your hand hanging over the edge of the bed. Pigs are different, but have a similarly false reputation.

In fact, understanding pigs is so important that our own beloved president Harry Truman said,
"No man should be allowed to be President who does not understand hogs." Why? I mean pigs are big fat dirty blobs that like to roll in mud and stink, right?

Wrong. First, pigs are our oldest friends. They were among the first domesticated animal, over 6,000 years ago. They share the distinction of being the oldest friend with the Proboscis MOnkey (for you non-Latin speakers -"Big Nose Monkey" )which we domesticated because we did not yet have TVs and needed something entertaining to laugh at. Google his picture if you need a pick-me-up.

But back to swine. Baby pigs can squeal at a higher decibel than a jet engine. This is very useful when you want to block out nagging reminders of how much you are screwing up from loved ones. Pigs are invaluable to diabetics- they are used to make insulin. If you are a diabetic, thank a pig today for your survival! Pigs do NOT overeat- they always stop when they are full. This has been clinically proven by the controlled studies where a pig always backs away from the table and politely places his napkin on his table saying, "Thank you but I am stuffed" every time he is offered seconds.

Pigs are not dirty. They don't sweat and thus roll in mud to cool off. If they did not do this, there would be bags of sun-dried pig in the supermarket, but there are not because they have the sense to roll in the mud. And regarding sense, pigs are highly intelligent. They can be taught to pull levers for food and water, tumble, race, pull carts, and dance. This makes them smarter than me because I never could learn to dance.

Even some of our most beloved icons come from pigs. "Uncle Sam" was the name of a pig farmer who shipped his pork overseas to our army, and stamped US on the shipment. It used to be said that "Uncle Sam's shipment was large enough to feed an army" and came to represent the US government.

The pig fact that touches my heart the most is that pigs are great mothers. Mama Pig usually has 8 or 9 piglets in a litter and cares for them with complete absorption. There is the one unfortunate tendency to lie on them and crush them to death but she is not fat, just very heavy and the piglet is very little. She feels awful about it but it is not her fault. Pigs are the only animal unable to look "up" so when Mama Pig is settling down grunting, "look out!" the piglets can look right, left, and down, but not up where the danger is coming from. But don't dismay, farmers have devised special stalls for mama pigs that prevent this tragedy.

So the more I learn about pigs, the more I respect them. I suppose that is true of everything. And I realize I am worse than a pig in many ways. When danger comes, I look right, left, and down.... but I can look up. And really, that is the only place I should be looking.

Deuteronomy 4:29-30
²⁹ But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. ³⁰ When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him.