I wonder if the trees mind losing their leaves? Loss is such a hard thing to take. Growing and flourishing and winning... all that is easy. Anyone can win. However, everyone will lose, just like those trees, but not everyone does either with grace and wisdom.
Honeybun and Asherel were again in the first class of the day and the last class. Polly, our beloved mentor, sat with us as Asherel stood on deck. It was a difficult jumpers course, lots of tight turns and potential pitfalls to confuse the dog if the handler were not steady. The weaves were at the very end. To my delight and surprise, Asherel negotiated the course beautifully. She bobbled a rear cross (don't ask me to explain- go to an agility show. You'll have fun) which cost her some time, but thus far no faults. Then she hit the weaves, with just two jumps left for a perfect run. Honeybun popped out of the weave immediately, so Asherel had to start her back again. One fault is allowed in Open level, which is the level Asherel is running, but the time factor of restarting the weaves can be deadly. If overtime with one fault, she would be NQ'ed. This means "not qualify", not "not Cute" which of course does not apply to either Honeybun or Asherel.
"Drat!" I said as she missed the weave. She did go on to perfectly complete the end, and thus had run very well, and certainly had a shot at qualifying.
As it turned out, she was just overtime, and missed a coveted "Q". She had run well, and had had moments of brilliance. She was learning and gaining experience, and had a lovely attitude, win or lose. But still, checking off those "Q's" and bringing home ribbons to dust is surprisingly more fun.....
"That's ok," said Polly, "She will learn from her failures! You always learn more from your failures. What do you ever learn from winning?"
"Joy, delight, how good it feels..." I said.
"That's savoring," countered Polly, "Not learning. There is a difference."
And there is a difference. I think we would all be liars if we said we would rather lose than win. Savoring is a really nice verb, especially when applied to our life. But it is true that the things that promote the most change are usually the things that have hurt us most. It is sadly often not til we lose something that we realize how much we loved it, whether it is youth, health, beauty, the car keys, or the last brilliant golden leaf clinging tenaciously to the near naked tree. And when we lose, we say, "What can I do better?" (or at least, we should). When we win, we pat ourselves on the back and forget we are imperfect.
We are almost never in control of winning or losing... there is always someone out there who will be better, smarter, prettier. Learning how to lose is perhaps the most important skill we need to make it through to the end. Learning how to savor what we have is one of the most important skills we need for contentment.
I thought of how the one constant in my life is the nearness of God. He is always enveloping me, and yet how often do I savor the bounty of His grace, mercy, provision, and Presence? Long periods of time sometimes go by when I forget He is there, but I notice all the disappointments of an imperfect haircut.
While waiting for Asherel's last class, she bought Honeybun a Santa hat. The ever-compliant little dog walked through the prim and proper conformation show arena, with the competitors dressed in their Sunday best, wearing a Santa hat. Asherel and I chuckled the whole time, as everyone we passed pointed and smiled. It wasn't a ribbon, it wasn't that elusive and highly desired "Q", but it was savoring. It was savoring life, and joy, and a little dog and a wonderful girl with very big hearts.
"See how we are spreading joy?" laughed Asherel.
Psalm 37: 23-24
23 The LORD makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.
Nice thoughts.
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