Freed!

I found a way to beat the bitter cold while Asherel is in her agility class. I went into the warm building where the obedience classes take place. I was only planning to go in for a moment to use the rest room...but as I started to open the door to go back out into the windy, cold night, I paused.

"I don't need to be out there, anymore," I thought, "She is 14 now, and there are two leaders out there who know her well from our years with the club. I have faithfully stood in the bitter cold for three years watching Asherel and Honeybun train. I have done so willingly, wanting what is best for my dog and my child. But she is a capable young lady now and our dog is unlikely to revert to the vicious mess she was."

I crept to the bench alongside the back wall of the toasty training building. I settled down on the warm, inviting wood and shucked off my coat, my gloves, my scarf, my hat. I sighed deeply and watched the happy dogs in all the warm training rings.

There is a bad part of children growing up. As I so recently noted in a blog post when my new adorable grand nephew Gregory entered the world, babies are precious beyond belief. The mother has almost absolute control, and can protect the little ones and keep them nestled safely against her. Then they grow up. They develop minds that do not always march in lock step with their mother. They want to do new and sometimes dangerous things. They no longer think mothers' wisdom is really all it used to be. They skip blithely and blindly off into the cold, dark world....

The door opened with a blast of cold night air. I glanced out the door at the agility ring, under the field lights. I could see puffs of breath vaporizing in the cold air as the dogs and their owners ran in the winter chill. I saw Asherel listening to the teacher, and smiling. Then I saw her dash around the course with Honeybun streaming joyfully over the jumps, faster than I had ever seen her. There is a good part of children growing up, I thought, as I settled into my warm seat.

When I read the story of Hannah in the Bible, I am always saddened. She had prayed for years for a child, but remained childless. Then one day, God answered her prayer, and gave her Samuel. She kept Samuel and loved him till the day he was weaned, at which point she took him to the temple, and handed him over to the priest Eli. I don't think I could have done that. She was giving him up in service to the Lord as she had promised God. I want to rip out that page in the Bible. I don't get it. To have yearned so longingly, so desperately, and for such a long time for this gift from God, only to have to return it to Him! It seems so unfair. It breaks my maternal heart. Hannah was blessed with other children after Samuel, and I know that was a comfort, but as every mother knows, no child can replace another. They all capture a piece of the heart that cannot be filled by any other.

Yet God gave us the story of Hannah and her sacrifice for a purpose. All scripture has a purpose. Perhaps it was God's reminder that all of our children are just "on loan". All gifts of God are only for a season. Well, all except one notable exception. Salvation is eternal. It cannot be snatched away. It never has to be returned. It will never leave the desperate, longing soul standing all alone in the bitter cold.

And, even better, one day the legacy that Hannah gave her son, the legacy of faith, would bring that precious gift back to her. They would be standing together again in eternity. And in Heaven, there will be no dangers lurking on the paths that precious progeny might stroll, and no talking back. It will be all good, finally.

Psalm 116: 4-7, 16
Then I called on the name of the Lord:
"Lord, save me!" The Lord is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the unwary;
when I was brought low, he saved me. Return to your rest, my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you. Truly I am your servant, Lord;

I serve you just as my mother did;
you have freed me from my chains.





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