A Sleeping God?

Life can be a tornado sometimes. I was on a walk yesterday, listening to the radio and heard that there was a tornado watch in our area. I scanned the skies. It didn't seem like a tornado was on the way. Homes still sat securely on their foundations, birds still sang, the sun still poked in and out of the clouds. But the nature of tornadoes is that sometimes they blast out of nowhere, unexpectedly ripping everything up in their path.

We have had a series of knock you off your feet disappointments lately, some more jarring than others. My mother in law who is 87 and still lives alone in Florida, fell, knocked her head, and was unable to get up to call for help. She was found by a neighbor, who broke down the door to get to her and called an ambulance. She was admitted to the hospital for two days, but thankfully nothing was broken. She was shaken, dizzy, and weak, and now her sons are trying to help her make the only real choice- move in with us or to a nearby assisted living center. I will be cleaning the closet in the boys' old room, just in case. I am not quite sure where I will put all the stuff from the closet...maybe on the roof in hopes a tornado will selectively just carry that bit away. Fortunately, the doctor told me that my wrist pain is not carpal tunnel syndrome, but ulnar tendonitis. I should be able to clear the closet debris without pain if I wear my sturdiest splints. It is not at the level of surgery...yet. And If I continue with my splinting and a therapy regimen I will learn Tuesday, I should be able to avoid any further intervention.

The other struggles are probably more daunting right now. But everyone struggles. Mine just seem worse to me.

I am very grateful for daring to go all the way up to the top of the mountain on my last ski trip. I know that when I have to, I can be brave. I can do what I need to do when push comes to shove. That doesn't mean I have to like it. Doing hard and frightening things doesn't always result in success. But I am grateful that God gave me a glimpse of indescribable beauty from the mountain top. It gives me a vision of what can be, before being blown into the valley by swirling and impossibly strong storms.

When the storm raged while the disciples were in the boat with Jesus, Jesus slept. I have never quite figured out how He managed to do that. During gut heaving waves and roaring wind and pummeling rain....how could He slumber peacefully? And what is the message for us? Does He really sleep while we suffer and tremble? Does He not notice the impending doom? When the disciples have lost all hope, they wake Him and ask Him to save them. I love Jesus' response- "Why are you so afraid?"

Why are we so afraid? Seriously?

My response to that had I been there might have resulted in the boat capsizing once and for all. Here is what I probably would have said, knowing me:
"Why am I afraid? Because I can't walk on water. I can't tell the wind to be still and have it listen. I can't even turn water into wine so I could drink the lake and at least feel better about this wretched circumstance. All I can do is suffer while you sleep."
And then Jesus does what He knew all along He would do. He reminds them of their lack of faith, and He calms the storm and saves them.

"Ok Lord, I get the lack of faith part. Who of us has rock solid faith...? What I don't get is that sometimes you don't calm the storm. There are storms you let go on and on and on and on....forever!"
"No, not forever. Forever is the reward. The storm is sometimes just the vehicle to remind you which forever you will choose to travel to, and who you will be clinging to if it overcomes you."
"OK, I get that. I don't necessarily like it, but I get it. But why were you sleeping? Do you not care?"
"If I didn't care, my eyes would never open on your presence again, or I would never have entered your world in the first place."
"Yes, but sleeping? It seems so cold, so callous, so detached, so disinterested."
"What was the disciples' response?"
"To call on you!"
In my mind, God raises an eyebrow here. There is silence.
"I gave you the mountain," God reminds me, "You can't have mountains without valleys."

Matthew 8:23-27
Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!"


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