A Soft Answer

I was on a walk with my "reactive" dog Honeybun. This means that while she has come an enormous long way from the days when she was actively aggressive and tried to kill my other dog and visitors to our home, she still does not always respond well to other dogs approaching her. If you follow my blog, ( and if you don't, you should...) then you know that a week or so ago, a kind man who happened to be a dog trainer stopped me on my walk. He had his huge "nonreactive" dog with him, who he uses to help teach "reactive" dogs like Honeybun not to be reactive. In no time, he had Honeybun calmly and appropriately touching noses and greeting the strange dog. I was very impressed. The trainer was quick to point out that the problem with aggression in dogs is rarely a problem mostly with the dog. More often it is the owner who is the bigger problem. I tend to be "reactive" too. I know this to be true. I become tense and worried when I see strange dogs, and communicate that to my ever vigilant Honeybun.

So, back to my walk yesterday. We were trotting along when I saw a loose black dog in the distance. I turned around immediately, pulled out my pepper spray, and hoped the dog hadn't seen us. Honeybun is deaf so she didn't hear the dog come running up behind us... but I did. The dog instantly approached Honeybun and sniffed her butt. This is dog language for, "Hello, can I be your friend?" At this point, I could see the dog was friendly, so kept my finger off the mace trigger, but was still worried about how my reactive dog would respond. She swirled around, and then wagged her tail! And touched noses!

"Good girl!" I said. She made one short growl to let the black dog know that she was no pushover. I told her to knock it off, and that was that. The dog returned down the street, a happy look on his face (I think he lives at the end of that street), and Honeybun and I walked on having learned a lesson in relationships.

When we respond with good nature and love, quite often that is what we get in return. It is probably in part why Jesus commands us to "turn the other cheek" when our enemy strikes us. Nothing deflates aggression faster than gentle, humble acts of compassion and kindness. It is a lesson I am sorry to say that I am learning even more slowly than Honeybun. The good news is I have a patient Trainer and He promises He won't give up on me, even if it takes an eternity.

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A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. (Proverbs 15:1-4 ESV)




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