Arising from Grief

Some people face tragedy, become bitter, and are consumed by it. They blame God for the cruel fate they have been dealt, and their life becomes a mournful suffering. Yesterday, we met a man who chose a different path.

Doug Herbert is a top racecar driver, the first to break 300 mph. in elimination rounds of drag racing. He was rated a top ten Hot Rod driver. Tragically, five years ago, he lost both his sons in a car accident. The teenage son, age 17, was driving too fast, weaving in traffic, lost control of the car and crashed, killing both himself and younger brother instantly.

Yesterday, Doug stood before the group of teens and parents gathered at the Concord Z-Max Drag-way, as we gathered for the four hour teen safety driving class. He told us his story as the background for why he founded the teen training classes, called B.R.A.K.E.S. ( Be Responsible And Keep Everyone Safe.) He told us he never wanted any parent to ever have to go through what he went through. Working with the Dept. of Transportation and other groups to assess the major causes of teen driving accidents, Doug and his group of volunteers developed a program that targeted those areas, and trained teens how to avoid accidents, in a safe environment with professional drivers. The first year, 50 kids enrolled in his course. Five years later, over 10,000 teens have learned safe driving practices through BRAKES. He charges nothing, though gratefully accepts donations. The program hopes to continue to expand nationwide.

The teen's parent must attend the course as well. They are encouraged to drive the same hazard courses that their children are training on. I hopped in the car with a gentleman who told me he had never done much volunteer work before. But his pregnant daughter was in a car accident 5 years ago that put her in the hospital. She and the baby survived, but he knew that accident would never have happened if she had the skills that BRAKES teaches. He became an instructor. Nearly all the instructors have a similar story -- a loved one hurt by a reckless teen driver, or their own teens hurt by bad driving choices.

My daughter loved the four hour training session. So did I. We both learned a great deal about driving. I learned something else as well. I learned that God does not always prevent tragedy but even the most awful things that He allows in our lives can be used for good.

Doug told us that they receive many letters from teens and their parents who attribute saved lives and wise driving decisions because of the BRAKES program. One friend of his daughter told him of nearly colliding with a man running a red light. Because of what she had been taught in BRAKES, she escaped a collision and severe injury, if not death, by inches. After that incident, Doug's daughter, his only remaining child asked him, "So when my brothers died...that's why you started BRAKES, right?"
"Right," said Doug.
"And my friend would have been killed if she hadn't learned what you taught her at BRAKES, right?"
"Yes," said Doug.
"So my brothers saved her life...right?"
"Yes, in a way," said Doug.
"That's pretty cool," his daughter said, "I think they would have liked that."

I have no doubt that if Doug could have his sons back, that would be what he would want most on Earth. But knowing he could not, he did the next best thing...he saved other peoples' sons and daughters.

We never know how long we or our loved ones have here on earth. It is important that we know God, and are always prepared to meet Him with the assurance that we are in a right relationship with Him. God certainly is no stranger to watching a son die that would save many. God gave over to death His beloved son Jesus that whosoever would believe in Him would not perish but have eternal life. He knows suffering can be turned to good. And in the brief time we have here on earth, perhaps our noblest acts will arise out of grief.

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As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. (Genesis 50:20 ESV)


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