I think many of us have the wrong goal in life. So many defend their choices as necessary to be "happy." I contend that happiness should not be the goal. Happiness is a by-product, not the goal. If the goal is to be happy, then many of the struggles and acts of righteousness God commands become senseless to us. Doing the right thing or what God asks of us quite often makes us very unhappy for a season. The process of true change in obedience to God rarely makes us happy, though it always makes us better.
I have been considering the purpose of life for many years, and more so since becoming a Christian. Prior to knowing God, becoming "self-actualized" and "being happy" were very much the focus of my existence. I no longer believe either of those to be worthy goals. Now I believe the goal of life is to be "God-actualized" and "of use".
I did a bible search of verses with "happy" in them. Happy occurs for the first time when Leah gives birth to her long-awaited child. She names him Asher, which is Hebrew for Happy or Blessed. (In fact, I made up my long-awaited daughter's name from two Hebrew words, and called her Asherel -- Hebrew for Happy or Blessed of God.)
In the Bible, the next use of the word happy is in Deuteronomy 33:29: Blessed (happy) are you, Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the LORD? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword. Your enemies will cower before you, and you will tread on their heights." (Happy is often interchangeable with the word 'blessed.') Israel is happy because they are saved by God, and overcome their enemies. Job 5:17 says "Happy is the man whom God correcteth..." Psalm 144:15 says: "Happy is the people of whom this is true; Happy is the people whose God is the LORD." Proverbs 3:13 says "Happy is the man that findeth wisdom." Proverbs 28:14 says "Happy is the one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble." Luke 11:28 says: "Happy rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it." James 5:10-11 says: "As an example, brethren, of suffering and patience, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. We count those happy who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful." 1 Peter 3:14 says: "But if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;"
There are a few more verses with happy in them, but you get the idea. Never is happiness the goal, and never is happiness for selfish desire. Happiness is always the by-product of seeking after God. According to the Bible, happiness ensues with bringing forth children, being corrected by God, finding God's wisdom, trembling before God, suffering in the name of the Lord, enduring suffering with patience, hearing and obeying God, and suffering for righteousness.
Now contrast that with what advertisers tell us is the road to happiness:
McDonald's Happy Meals
Get Happy, Get Geico Insurance
Must Have LCD TVs from Best Buy You Happier TM
Fair Wage Coffee - making you happier one cup at a time
You get the idea. (I have had both Happy Meals and Geico insurance...the promised happiness is more elusive than the claims would suggest.)
Happiness as the world defines it is obtained by meeting one's bodily and material desires. Happiness as God defines it is obtained by struggling to do His will, and enduring through trials in seeking Him. Right now, I am meditating on the true purpose of our life here on earth, and seeking happiness does not seem to be it. Obviously, there is something far more valuable than happiness. Seems to me that is what we should be hunting after with all our resources and time.
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Happiness is happenstance. As you say it comes and it goes. We achieve a goal and are happy. We are entitled to the PURSUIT of happiness...read a great article on this last week, but I don't know if I can find it. Happiness is not guaranteed...
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