Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Expecting God...Even in Chemo Side Effects

The bad news is the second set of biopsies of two more lumps found by the very thorough team at CMC showed another cancerous lump. One was benign, but now with three malignant lumps, my guess is my breast is going the way of the dinosaur.

And chemo is probably in my future. I find out for sure Monday when I meet with the surgeon, but I am a realist. Fortunately, I am a realist with an abiding faith in God. He has supernaturally kept me calm, and even joyful. Please do not misunderstand. If I didn't have to have cancer, I would definitely not be picking it to go with my Easter dress. However, God has a plan, and I trust it is a good one. I can mourn and cry and scream and rage...and probably will on low days....but it does no good. It is what it is. May as well have fun with it....

So, I went wig shopping. I met one of the nicest human beings on earth in Gastonia, NC. Her name is Ginny, and she owns Ginny's Wigs. ( I called to warn her that I was coming. I explained I was not ready to buy until the surgeon told me I would be getting chemo, and I would be losing my hair. However, I wanted to look at wigs now. She told me to come on down!

As I drove over, I wondered if I would cry. My hair is important to me. I don't even know why it is SO important. It shouldn't be. It is pretty nice hair. Thick. Easy to style. Grey. I never colored it because I thought one should accept whatever God gives.

Ginny had other ideas.
"Try this," she said. It was not grey.

Hmmm. I have to admit, blonde takes ten...maybe twenty years off of me.
"Now this is a really cute wig," Ginny said.

I agreed! It was very cute!
"Or, a little less blonde...." Ginny handed me another one.

Even cuter!
Hmmmm. I am beginning to think cancer is not so bad....
Then I asked Ginny about how these wigs hold up to running, kayaking, biking....If at ALL possible, I am not giving up those things.

Ginny considered this problem. Well, in all honesty, lots of perspiration would indeed decrease the life of the wig. So, here is a fun solution. When I exercise, I wear a wig hat:

And get instant long hair! I can even pull it back in a ponytail. The hat is a regular hat. The hair sticks out from the bottom, but only is attached to the bottom fifth of the hat. Much cooler than a wig, and the perspiration only goes on the hat. Which is washable. Problem solved.

Ginny and I were having a great time. I didn't feel at all like crying. I was having a blast seeing what I looked like as a blond. To tell you the truth, I looked much less like an old hag. I should have gotten cancer ten years ago!

The whole time I was there, I was eying the purple wig. My daughter recently dyed her hair purple. I kind of like it.
"Could I try on the purple wig?" I asked Ginny. Not because I would really buy it. I won't. But because laughter is restorative, and I knew it would make me laugh.

I was right. It did. It made us both laugh.

See. God is good. He is present wherever you look when you are certain that wherever you look, He is there. Ginny started her business because she felt bad for those she knew who suffered hair loss. And then one day she realized she had a booming business. That isn't what drives her though. It is the smiles of women facing devastating illness who she makes beautiful in the midst of such trauma.

If I had a million dollars, I would get the purple wig too.

I woke up this morning to find my new pro-life book Singing in the Darkness (click here to purchase) is #1 on Amazon in its category! (And just 99 cents for one more day!) Praise God for His abundance of blessings!

James 1:2-4 

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Philippians 2:3-4 

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ...


  1. Thank you for "counting it all joy when you encounter various trials..." there is a crown awaiting! I love finding blessings in brokenness and (bless your sweet little heart) you for finding them too!

  2. Some women go from straight hair to curly after chemo. You might want to begin checking out the curly styles for future hair ideas!

  3. You are beautiful regardless of what's covering your head.
    God Bless you.

  4. so much encouragement. Thank you all of you!

  5. You look just like Asherel in that purple wig!

  6. Love your blog and the positive way you are approaching your cancer. God bless Ginny for her compassion for women who have lost their hair. If I had a million dollars, I would buy you the purple wig too but probably the hair hat and one of the blondies are more practical choices. They all look great if you need to get one at some point. Thinking of you and praying for you <3

    1. Thank you! I just found out the purple wig is just a costume wig...just $30. Probably GOTTA get it, right???