I was very nervous yesterday morning about my upcoming radiation session. It was just a dry run, with x-rays, marking the area to be radiated, and educating me on the daily process as well as handling side effects. It was a long session, but the actual radiation doesn't start till today. I was already upset when I went in, partly from fear of this new unknown, and also because of financial concerns the cancer has brought us. So when I settled in the little room with the nurse, I started crying almost immediately.
She was beyond kind and quickly picked up that I was a Christian. She shared with me that she too was a believer and her deep faith was helping her through some very difficult issues, similar to my own. She has come through to the other side of that trial and emerged victorious. She understood my fears and my tears, and spoke about her own grief and crying over her situation. She assured me, this was not from lack of faith, but from the overflow of the emotions devastating news brings. She rejoiced knowing that God had sent me to her, a divine appointment, knowing she had a message that would be what I needed to hear.
"I am here to tell you you will do fine, just like I did."
I began crying again, not out of fear anymore but out of gratitude to God for sending me someone who so beautifully understood what I was going through and could provide the comfort that was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time.
Before the doctor appointment, I had gone to the abortion center sidewalks to speak on behalf of the babies, knowing I could not stay long because of my radiation appointment. The demons were really riled! Two women became incredibly angry with me while I was speaking on the microphone, and charged me, one throwing her purse to the ground on her way to pummel me. She was livid, vile, and said that she wanted to go to hell because it was so much more fun than the world we lived in following God. I was not afraid, though I was pretty sure I was about to be attacked. Fortunately, her friend grabbed her, talked her down, and she retreated.
I do not mind when people get angry with me for speaking the truth I feel God has called me to speak. I would much rather have them become angry than be indifferent. I think their anger means there's a conscience that is pricked, and that they can still be reached.
Two moms that we know of chose life for their babies. I would have liked to have seen the outcome of what happened with the angry young woman, but I had to go to my doctor appointment.
Originally, my radiologist had told me I would need 33 radiation treatments, but that was downgraded to 30, so I will be done with radiation September 20. There will be much rejoicing on that day, but there was even rejoicing at that first session yesterday, seeing how God planted Comfort and Hope in my path. I remembered the nurse's advice as I lay for twenty minutes on the radiation table. They xrayed me, then a grid of green lines was beamed onto my chest and they drew all over me with purple markers. (That is the area I am to apply a special cream to help with the inevitable skin irritation.) As I lay there while machines moved all around me, taking photos, and doing who-knows-what, I thought of what the nurse said: "During my treatments, I would imagine that the radiation beam was God's warmth, God's healing hand upon me, and I would thank Him for my healing."
The woman who was so angry at the abortion center justified her decision to abort based on bad circumstances in her life, including domestic violence. I find it ironic that she wanted to go to hell where it was "more fun". I imagine hell is peopled with those unrepentant, hard, rebellious, God-defying hearts that have caused her so much pain in this life on earth.
The contrast between that woman, and my nurse was quite striking.
The first woman: vile words and foaming anger, cursing God for her struggles, and desiring to go to hell rather then do what she knew God was calling her to do. Circumstances define her moral choices.
My nurse: gentle, compassionate, undergoing a terrible struggle herself but thanking God for it in preparing her to minister to another hurting child of God. Moral, Godly choices define her circumstances.
The first woman was a vision of self-inflicted hell, and the other was a vision of Christ-delivered heaven. There is no doubt which side of that stark divide I would rather be on.
"Can I still go on long walks?" I asked the nurse before leaving the session, "I love to walk."
She smiled. "The data shows that the women who have the least side effects are those who exercise."
I lifted my eyebrows. "I often walk ten miles a day. Is that ok?"
"Oh yes, it is encouraged!" she said.
I've got this! With God, I've got this!
PS- While God is under total control, cancer is very expensive. I have a new book out that is funny, inspiring, and will hook you immediately with a wild story of how the past does not define our future. The e-book is only $2.99! I would be so grateful if you would read and review it. If you would share this with your friends, my heart would be overflowing with thanks! (The print book is also available at the Amazon site.) The link to the book is HERE.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.