Saturday, August 6, 2016
More Memories - How Did I Not See Them as the Blessings They Were?
My sister Amy, like me, is also in the midst of going through a zillion mementos in cleaning out a house for sale. She has been enormously helpful in prepping my folks' home for sale, and is back there this week to help with the auction of their big items, and the final cleaning.
She found this old photograph of the two of us dancing on the beach in Cape Cod. That is my beloved first dog Lady, standing on the rocks watching us. I taught Amy a portion of my 'Tigerette' routine (I was a 'Rockette of the Grid-Iron' in High-School, the marching band dance team.)
In this photograph, she is helping me practice. Or perhaps we are dancing for the sheer joy of it. Cape Cod has that effect on me. I think I am the person with my arm straight up, but I am not sure. Amy and I could be twins, though strangely, I didn't realize it at the time. I, of course, thought I was stunning, and Amy was just my sister. Who knew she was beautiful? How did I not notice that growing up?
Another detail in the picture makes me smile. My cool Cape Cod cousins were the soul of thrift. They had recycled old gingham curtains into halter tops for all the cousins. Amy and I are wearing those old curtains in the photo.
Sometimes, as I look at all the things I am reliving through the old photos and diaries and knick-knacks, I want to go back in time. I want to relive those moments. When you go through them the first time, you really don't think about how they will end. When you are young, and busy, and filled with future hopes, you just have no idea how quickly the future sneaks up on you. Then you realize you never appreciated adequately what you had.
So I say Thank You God. I didn't know God then, so I certainly never thanked Him for all the beauty and joy and love in my childhood. I was so blessed, and yet somehow, I managed to find angst growing up. What a spoiled brat.
Why do we not realize how much we have been given until it is gone? I hate that.
Thank you Lord. I am sorry it took me decades to understand how much time I squandered, and how little gratitude I expressed. Help me live out the rest of my days with every breath filled with praise for you. I am so blessed.